What is the most effective way to enforce a boundary?

[El Payaso]

For example, if she breaks a boundary, would it be more effective to withdraw your attention or call her out?

 

[Eph]

I'd say a mixture depending on how severe the offense. Tell her what she did wrong calmly so (in future interactions) she can't pretend she didn't know and then withdraw attention until she does something good. If she intentionally does something to piss you off, just ignore. In that case, she already knows what she did wrong.

I don't really think there's ever really a time for just calling her out on something. Kind of a mixed signal. It's like saying she did something wrong but it doesn't really matter. If a dog pisses on your carpet, and you don't punish it (in some way), it'll keep pissing on your carpet. You don't look at it and politely ask it to not do that anymore. Dogs (animals) generally need (light) physical consequences. Women, ignoring her is usually enough.

 

[Soolaimon]

Not this $hit again.

If she breaks your boundary the relationship should be over.

If you go back on your boundary not enforcing it you will look weak and she won't take you seriously.

If you say no male friends and she hangs out with one you need to dump her.

Otherwise she will know she just broke your boundary with ease and it's pointless and she will do it again.

 

[guru1000]

Not this $hit again.

If she breaks your boundary the relationship should be over.

If you go back on your boundary not enforcing it you will look weak and she won't take you seriously.

If you say no male friends and she hangs out with one you need to dump her.

Otherwise she will know she just broke your boundary with ease and it's pointless and she will do it again.

Never thought I would be quoting Sooli, lol, but this ^^

 

[RangerMIke]

There is only one way to express displeasure with what your woman does.... walk away from her.

 

[Roni_88]

She's definitely done, the boundary was placed and she didn't respect it.. walk away and don't ever look back.

 

[LondonTowers]

I agree with the guys above. But you must be sure you implied all your boundaries in the dating stage before exclusivity.

I have found that girls are actually working out what your boundaries are in the first few months before exclusivity. A lot of guys are stuck in infatuation land and are not picking up on these covert contractual agreements and let slide many of the tests as they hurtle towards naming her their girlfriend, like some hastily won prize.

Suddenly later, they start getting tested in situations where inside they know they never really set the boundary in the first place before BAM! they realise they better start throwing some boundaries down or she is gonna ride into another castle.. but it's too late by then.

So of course.. if a boundary is broken.. you walk. But was it a boundary you actually implied before the contract of exclusivity?

 

[Bingo-Player]

Haven’t had a relationship in a while but when i used to entertain them , i would just give casually give her examples of the boundaries i set in a past relationship and hope she would take the hint

I usually give them the whole “loyalty is more important than any amount of beauty” spiel

Unfortunately in 2015 it is virtually impossible to ensure your boundaries are being obeyed I know girls with boyfriends of 4/5 years who are whoring around on facebook private mail, going out on the weekend and sleeping with anyone that flashes them some cash

This is why i am preaching to guys now to keep all your women are arms length , always have a plan B and never get into too deep , the dating game is a vicious circle

 

[Bingo-Player]

Every man thinks they have a good girl until she turns out not to be.

:yes: one of the hardest and cruelest lessons a man must learn

 

[Soolaimon]

For example, if she breaks a boundary, would it be more effective to withdraw your attention or call her out?

Calling her out or withdrawing attention does nothing when she disrespects you.

Her disrespect is breaking your boundary. You should recognize that and dump her.

You specifically told her what you don't want her to do and she did it anyway knowing it is wrong.

So when you let it slide letting her get away with it she is going to say "Hey I got away with what he didn't want me to do and nothing happened. I'm going to see what else I can get away with." It's like a kid with a weak parent.

When she sees you don't mean what you say it's game over.

When you draw a line in the sand with your boundary and she crosses it that means it's game over. No looking the other way pretending it didn't happen or giving her extra chances to break it again.

If she respected you in the first place she wouldn't have broken it.

If you set a boundary you must not be afraid to execute. That's the whole point of setting one.

Too many guys are afraid and won't pull the trigger when it counts.

That's when the boundary becomes useless since you won't truly enforce it.

I call her out if its a verbal boundary. don't have time to be ****ing around she pulls out a knife I pull out a gun

That's why your boundaries fail you cause you're too afraid to enforce them. Betas do that.

What's the point of setting a boundary if you're just going to "call her out"?

She just disrespected you not taking you seriously by breaking your boundary.

Do you think she's going to care if you call her out? No. You need to dump her on the spot.

You can't wait to set boundaries but are too scared to enforce them when you need to.

That's why you get cheated on down the road when women lose more respect cause you were too afraid to enforce your boundary.

 

[guru1000]

Remember gentlemen:

Relationship satiety is temporary. Self-respect is permanent. Live by your code and never undermine it irrespective of the circumstance.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Remember gentlemen:

Relationship satiety is temporary. Self-respect is permanent. Live by your code and never undermine it irrespective of the circumstance.

no wonder you call yourself the guru