"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
What is the most effective way to enforce a boundary?
- Thread starter El Payaso
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I don't really think there's ever really a time for just calling her out on something. Kind of a mixed signal. It's like saying she did something wrong but it doesn't really matter. If a dog pisses on your carpet, and you don't punish it (in some way), it'll keep pissing on your carpet. You don't look at it and politely ask it to not do that anymore. Dogs (animals) generally need (light) physical consequences. Women, ignoring her is usually enough.
If she breaks your boundary the relationship should be over.
If you go back on your boundary not enforcing it you will look weak and she won't take you seriously.
If you say no male friends and she hangs out with one you need to dump her.
Otherwise she will know she just broke your boundary with ease and it's pointless and she will do it again.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
LondonTowers
Don Juan
I have found that girls are actually working out what your boundaries are in the first few months before exclusivity. A lot of guys are stuck in infatuation land and are not picking up on these covert contractual agreements and let slide many of the tests as they hurtle towards naming her their girlfriend, like some hastily won prize.
Suddenly later, they start getting tested in situations where inside they know they never really set the boundary in the first place before BAM! they realise they better start throwing some boundaries down or she is gonna ride into another castle.. but it's too late by then.
So of course.. if a boundary is broken.. you walk. But was it a boundary you actually implied before the contract of exclusivity?
Bingo-Player
Master Don Juan
I usually give them the whole “loyalty is more important than any amount of beauty” spiel
Unfortunately in 2015 it is virtually impossible to ensure your boundaries are being obeyed I know girls with boyfriends of 4/5 years who are whoring around on facebook private mail, going out on the weekend and sleeping with anyone that flashes them some cash
This is why i am preaching to guys now to keep all your women are arms length , always have a plan B and never get into too deep , the dating game is a vicious circle
Bingo-Player
Master Don Juan
:yes: one of the hardest and cruelest lessons a man must learnSocial_Leper said:
El Payaso said:
Calling her out or withdrawing attention does nothing when she disrespects you.
Her disrespect is breaking your boundary. You should recognize that and dump her.
You specifically told her what you don't want her to do and she did it anyway knowing it is wrong.
So when you let it slide letting her get away with it she is going to say "Hey I got away with what he didn't want me to do and nothing happened. I'm going to see what else I can get away with." It's like a kid with a weak parent.
When she sees you don't mean what you say it's game over.
When you draw a line in the sand with your boundary and she crosses it that means it's game over. No looking the other way pretending it didn't happen or giving her extra chances to break it again.
If she respected you in the first place she wouldn't have broken it.
If you set a boundary you must not be afraid to execute. That's the whole point of setting one.
Too many guys are afraid and won't pull the trigger when it counts.
That's when the boundary becomes useless since you won't truly enforce it.
That's why your boundaries fail you cause you're too afraid to enforce them. Betas do that.PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
What's the point of setting a boundary if you're just going to "call her out"?
She just disrespected you not taking you seriously by breaking your boundary.
Do you think she's going to care if you call her out? No. You need to dump her on the spot.
You can't wait to set boundaries but are too scared to enforce them when you need to.
That's why you get cheated on down the road when women lose more respect cause you were too afraid to enforce your boundary.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Bingo-Player
Master Don Juan
guru1000 said:
no wonder you call yourself the guru