TheGambino
Master Don Juan
I wanna know your thoughts about the difference about the line and definition, examples on confidence persistance and needy/desperate behavior.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
What is the difference between confidence/persistence and needy/desperate?
- Thread starter TheGambino
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Aww shucks! What the hell did you do now? Haha.
To answer your question though...You know when you're confident. That's an internal thing. You can fake it in an effort to make others believe that you are self assured but you know what the deal is. And when you believe, others see this, fall in line and will treat you accordingly (for the most part). I don't think anyone is ever 100% confident across the board in every aspect of their life, every conversation and interaction they are in, every situation, etc. Of course it would be wonderful to be like that but you would have to literally KNOW EVERYTHING and no one does, will, or ever has. I think it is super important to always strive to get to that level even though you know you probably won't. Being confident enough to act on the knowledge that you have, not feel insecure about being proved wrong or admitting that you are wrong, always feeling that your best version of yourself (at least mentally) is yet to come, and brutal honesty are serious confidence markers to me.
To answer your question though...You know when you're confident. That's an internal thing. You can fake it in an effort to make others believe that you are self assured but you know what the deal is. And when you believe, others see this, fall in line and will treat you accordingly (for the most part). I don't think anyone is ever 100% confident across the board in every aspect of their life, every conversation and interaction they are in, every situation, etc. Of course it would be wonderful to be like that but you would have to literally KNOW EVERYTHING and no one does, will, or ever has. I think it is super important to always strive to get to that level even though you know you probably won't. Being confident enough to act on the knowledge that you have, not feel insecure about being proved wrong or admitting that you are wrong, always feeling that your best version of yourself (at least mentally) is yet to come, and brutal honesty are serious confidence markers to me.
dustmuffin
Master Don Juan
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women are like a bus.....a new one comes along every ten minutes......
No, women are like a passenger. You are the bus.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
EyeBRollin
Master Don Juan
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Your persistence is creating abundance and sticking to the script;
You ask a girl out no more than once per week, unless she puts herself into your orbit.
You don't ask a girl out that has no interest in you.
You ask a girl out no more than once per week, unless she puts herself into your orbit.
You don't ask a girl out that has no interest in you.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
I agree about the texting once. If you are being ignored and find yourself sending that text that is all question marks, you're doing it wrong.
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
When in doubt, always act as if you've at least three or four "quality" girls you could bang within thirty minutes.
Would I send another text to a girl who didn't text me back within a day if I had SIX girls that would love to polish Mr. Johnson with the inside of their Holiest of Holies?
Fake it till you make it, as they say.
guru1000
Master Don Juan
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Your intent.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
lets see if you can recognize the difference-
persistence:
day 1: she won't even talk to you
day 2: she says hi but not much else
day 3: a short conversation but, she wants to get away from you quickly
day 4: a longer conversation, strange, she shouldn't be any less busy today than yesterday...
day 5: she's nice, she's polite, she laughs, the conversation goes until one of you absolutely has to go
day 6: she almost seems like she waits around for you til you go and talk to her, you end up making her a few minutes late to class, whoops, oh well she doesn't mind
day 7: you don't get to talk to her before class today, instead, you wait for her afterwards, then you pick her up and go get some drinks
desperation:
day 1: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 2: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 3: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 3: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 4: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 5: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 6: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 7: sosuave post about how to get this girl you've been working on all week
it's pretty subtle, you may have to read this over a few times and examine it quite closely
persistence:
day 1: she won't even talk to you
day 2: she says hi but not much else
day 3: a short conversation but, she wants to get away from you quickly
day 4: a longer conversation, strange, she shouldn't be any less busy today than yesterday...
day 5: she's nice, she's polite, she laughs, the conversation goes until one of you absolutely has to go
day 6: she almost seems like she waits around for you til you go and talk to her, you end up making her a few minutes late to class, whoops, oh well she doesn't mind
day 7: you don't get to talk to her before class today, instead, you wait for her afterwards, then you pick her up and go get some drinks
desperation:
day 1: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 2: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 3: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 3: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 4: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 5: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 6: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 7: sosuave post about how to get this girl you've been working on all week
it's pretty subtle, you may have to read this over a few times and examine it quite closely
you cant chase your dreams if your chasing her.
let them do all the contacting. I never persist. I like instant attraction I cant waste time with them like that.
theyre either on board or theyre not and you know quick what the deal is.
let them do all the contacting. I never persist. I like instant attraction I cant waste time with them like that.
theyre either on board or theyre not and you know quick what the deal is.