TheGambino
Master Don Juan
I wanna know your thoughts about the difference about the line and definition, examples on confidence persistance and needy/desperate behavior.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
What is the difference between confidence/persistence and needy/desperate?
- Thread starter TheGambino
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Aww shucks! What the hell did you do now? Haha.
To answer your question though...You know when you're confident. That's an internal thing. You can fake it in an effort to make others believe that you are self assured but you know what the deal is. And when you believe, others see this, fall in line and will treat you accordingly (for the most part). I don't think anyone is ever 100% confident across the board in every aspect of their life, every conversation and interaction they are in, every situation, etc. Of course it would be wonderful to be like that but you would have to literally KNOW EVERYTHING and no one does, will, or ever has. I think it is super important to always strive to get to that level even though you know you probably won't. Being confident enough to act on the knowledge that you have, not feel insecure about being proved wrong or admitting that you are wrong, always feeling that your best version of yourself (at least mentally) is yet to come, and brutal honesty are serious confidence markers to me.
To answer your question though...You know when you're confident. That's an internal thing. You can fake it in an effort to make others believe that you are self assured but you know what the deal is. And when you believe, others see this, fall in line and will treat you accordingly (for the most part). I don't think anyone is ever 100% confident across the board in every aspect of their life, every conversation and interaction they are in, every situation, etc. Of course it would be wonderful to be like that but you would have to literally KNOW EVERYTHING and no one does, will, or ever has. I think it is super important to always strive to get to that level even though you know you probably won't. Being confident enough to act on the knowledge that you have, not feel insecure about being proved wrong or admitting that you are wrong, always feeling that your best version of yourself (at least mentally) is yet to come, and brutal honesty are serious confidence markers to me.
dustmuffin
Master Don Juan
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women are like a bus.....a new one comes along every ten minutes......
No, women are like a passenger. You are the bus.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
EyeBRollin
Master Don Juan
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Your persistence is creating abundance and sticking to the script;
You ask a girl out no more than once per week, unless she puts herself into your orbit.
You don't ask a girl out that has no interest in you.
You ask a girl out no more than once per week, unless she puts herself into your orbit.
You don't ask a girl out that has no interest in you.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
I agree about the texting once. If you are being ignored and find yourself sending that text that is all question marks, you're doing it wrong.
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
When in doubt, always act as if you've at least three or four "quality" girls you could bang within thirty minutes.
Would I send another text to a girl who didn't text me back within a day if I had SIX girls that would love to polish Mr. Johnson with the inside of their Holiest of Holies?
Fake it till you make it, as they say.
guru1000
Master Don Juan
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Your intent.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
lets see if you can recognize the difference-
persistence:
day 1: she won't even talk to you
day 2: she says hi but not much else
day 3: a short conversation but, she wants to get away from you quickly
day 4: a longer conversation, strange, she shouldn't be any less busy today than yesterday...
day 5: she's nice, she's polite, she laughs, the conversation goes until one of you absolutely has to go
day 6: she almost seems like she waits around for you til you go and talk to her, you end up making her a few minutes late to class, whoops, oh well she doesn't mind
day 7: you don't get to talk to her before class today, instead, you wait for her afterwards, then you pick her up and go get some drinks
desperation:
day 1: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 2: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 3: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 3: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 4: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 5: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 6: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 7: sosuave post about how to get this girl you've been working on all week
it's pretty subtle, you may have to read this over a few times and examine it quite closely
persistence:
day 1: she won't even talk to you
day 2: she says hi but not much else
day 3: a short conversation but, she wants to get away from you quickly
day 4: a longer conversation, strange, she shouldn't be any less busy today than yesterday...
day 5: she's nice, she's polite, she laughs, the conversation goes until one of you absolutely has to go
day 6: she almost seems like she waits around for you til you go and talk to her, you end up making her a few minutes late to class, whoops, oh well she doesn't mind
day 7: you don't get to talk to her before class today, instead, you wait for her afterwards, then you pick her up and go get some drinks
desperation:
day 1: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 2: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 3: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 3: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 4: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 5: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 6: she doesn't want to talk to you but you're no quitter!
day 7: sosuave post about how to get this girl you've been working on all week
it's pretty subtle, you may have to read this over a few times and examine it quite closely
you cant chase your dreams if your chasing her.
let them do all the contacting. I never persist. I like instant attraction I cant waste time with them like that.
theyre either on board or theyre not and you know quick what the deal is.
let them do all the contacting. I never persist. I like instant attraction I cant waste time with them like that.
theyre either on board or theyre not and you know quick what the deal is.