You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Deus ex Pianoforte said:Speaking as an AFC, my personal reasons lie in an overbearing mother, and pervasive teasing and harassment throughout school which fed my insecurities further.
that's nice armchair psychology, but it's not always that simple.backbreaker said:a man that is smart enough to understand the underlying problems for being the way he is, is smart enough to fix them, therefore in the end has no one to blame but himself
Master Bates said:that's nice armchair psychology, but it's not always that simple.
I'd mostly blame the feminization of our society, and the demonization of masculinity. It doesn't help that boys aren't raised by men anymore (even if they have a father).
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Most of us here in this forum are the kids of the eighties, we all grew up watching TV.
And TV taught us how to be AFC's, watching news, shows and movies.
When TV is your only source of information about the world, you become molded to whatever "they" want you to do or act.
If "they" want you to be Afraid of a certain group people, then they create more shows to make you afraid and angry.
Parents also take responsibility for allowing this influence there own kids, while at the same time they are being influenced as well.
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