"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What is love ?

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Stugots26

Senior Don Juan
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Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more... :crackup:

Sorry, had to...
 

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Don Juan
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Not sure if you're looking for an answer, but I'll just leave this here. I have learned a lot in the last 10 years. And one of those things was the true definition of love. Love anymore by society's terms is "Lust". True love as our souls yearn for is a reciprocated investment in the betterment of each other. Thus "If you love something let it go, if it comes back it was meant to be."

And that's where the concept of unbreakable love comes from. If your girl has your back so tightly that her main goal in life is to see you grow and become better, there's no way in hades she'll be sneaking bs around behind your back. If she is, well, then it's not true love by that definition anymore, is it? ;)

@stugots: Kudos! haha :p
 

JohnyTheArrow

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I love love but it isnt that simple.What is expected often - a sacrifice from a male side including life but it rarerly comes from the female side.The are endless stories about men sacrificing everything for female even life - but there is very little stories about females doing same.Man had more value before, now , until he rich,famous,beautiful he is so totally disposable.Over thrirty single mom, if she is still attractive, can go online and she will have hundrends men fighting for her.There is no reason for female to give you 'love' when you have so many people fighting for you and willing to replace your mate.Thats why love has been replaced by lust.There is no time for love.

Love doesn't exists until it is tested in extreme situations.If your love isnt tested - you shouldnt considered you are being loved.
 

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Don Juan
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My point exactly...I had to learn it the hard way.. the way you described and unfortunately 99% of us will have to as well. At least it seems to be reciprocated in those drawings.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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RangerMIke

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Love is nothing more than the release of oxytocin. There is nothing magical about it. As long as you as a man can continue to get her to release oxytocin then she will stay with you.

Evolution created oxytocin to over ride our natural instinct of self preservation. Animals that didn't develop "love" connections with familiy or clans died off.
 

SgtSplacker

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Pause said:
Not sure if you're looking for an answer, but I'll just leave this here. I have learned a lot in the last 10 years. And one of those things was the true definition of love. Love anymore by society's terms is "Lust". True love as our souls yearn for is a reciprocated investment in the betterment of each other. Thus "If you love something let it go, if it comes back it was meant to be."

And that's where the concept of unbreakable love comes from. If your girl has your back so tightly that her main goal in life is to see you grow and become better, there's no way in hades she'll be sneaking bs around behind your back. If she is, well, then it's not true love by that definition anymore, is it? ;)

@stugots: Kudos! haha :p
Does this even really exist anymore? Love to me is more like a family of wolves sharing a den together. Maybe a moments peace between the fighting for a scrap of flesh from yesterdays meal can be enjoyed at most. Never been in a relationship where I have not had to fight to be considered and respected.
 
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