"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What is harder? Playing a sport or picking up girls?

zekko

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This is what I feel about my life right now. Not that it's all bad, just feels like something important is missing (and trying to fill it with other things is just a temporary fix).
When I said that, you have to remember that I'm 49.
If you're a younger fellow, it's important that you not feel like a failure - you're still learning. That's what you're supposed to be doing. You have plenty of time to work things out, gain experiences, and become a man. Things got better for me as I got older.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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sandman6991

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You can't compare the two, but as far as sheer *difficulty*, playing a sport is definitiely harder. Any jackass can learn how to score a few bimbos, but it takes years of hard work and dedication to become really good at a sport.

And as far as the pain you get from girls being worse than in sports...what?! Since when does getting rejected by a girl compare to getting literally pounded? I've gotten rejected by girls a LOT and in about every way possible, and trust me, that hurts WAY less than going over the middle to catch a pass and getting a helmet in the chest from an opposing linebacker.
 

J. Darko

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sandman6991 said:
You can't compare the two, but as far as sheer *difficulty*, playing a sport is definitiely harder. Any jackass can learn how to score a few bimbos, but it takes years of hard work and dedication to become really good at a sport.

And as far as the pain you get from girls being worse than in sports...what?! Since when does getting rejected by a girl compare to getting literally pounded? I've gotten rejected by girls a LOT and in about every way possible, and trust me, that hurts WAY less than going over the middle to catch a pass and getting a helmet in the chest from an opposing linebacker.
Then what? You're lying on the ground, with a couple of bruises you get up and finish the game. All you have to endure is chest soreness for a couple of days. That's all.

If you are rejected by a girl however, it haunts you for the rest of your life, in your sleep, when you eat, when you take a shower, when you dream, a little voice tells you: sandman6991, keep telling yourself you are the prize, but you were rejected, again. Don't you see? It's obvious. you are not good enough. You are not attractive. Girls even think you're below those nerds they are dating, that's how unattractive you are, so you are going to marry a huge sperm whale or dy alone and masturbating forever.

Wish you were tackled by the linebacker now huh?
 

garruk

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i dont think you can compare these 2.

"playing" sports is easy. any 5 year old can play.
playing in the NFL? not easy

picking up girls is easy. any 5 year old can flirt with girls
being a true don juan? not easy
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

sandman6991

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J. Darko said:
Then what? You're lying on the ground, with a couple of bruises you get up and finish the game. All you have to endure is chest soreness for a couple of days. That's all.

If you are rejected by a girl however, it haunts you for the rest of your life, in your sleep, when you eat, when you take a shower, when you dream, a little voice tells you: sandman6991, keep telling yourself you are the prize, but you were rejected, again. Don't you see? It's obvious. you are not good enough. You are not attractive. Girls even think you're below those nerds they are dating, that's how unattractive you are, so you are going to marry a huge sperm whale or dy alone and masturbating forever.

Wish you were tackled by the linebacker now huh?
J. Darko, I've been tackled by that linebacker and I've been rejected by girls, and no, I still choose getting turned down by a woman anyday. (Although that doesn't change my love for football, the pain is part of what makes it special)

Getting rejected by a girl isn't going to trigger that ridiculous self-depreciating speech to myself. So, you're saying that when you're rejected by a girl that it haunts you for the rest of your life? That's just flat-out crazy. It pisses me off for about an hour or two if it's a girl I really liked, but I don't start questioning the very basis of my self-worth. Anyone who lets a rejection get to them like that, to the point of constant obsession, seriously needs to get help.

Obviously a break-up takes a little longer to get over than a normal rejection, but I would choose getting dumped over tearing my ACL again anyday.
 

J. Darko

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sandman6991 said:
J. Darko, I've been tackled by that linebacker and I've been rejected by girls, and no, I still choose getting turned down by a woman anyday. (Although that doesn't change my love for football, the pain is part of what makes it special)

Getting rejected by a girl isn't going to trigger that ridiculous self-depreciating speech to myself. So, you're saying that when you're rejected by a girl that it haunts you for the rest of your life? That's just flat-out crazy. It pisses me off for about an hour or two if it's a girl I really liked, but I don't start questioning the very basis of my self-worth. Anyone who lets a rejection get to them like that, to the point of constant obsession, seriously needs to get help.

Obviously a break-up takes a little longer to get over than a normal rejection, but I would choose getting dumped over tearing my ACL again anyday.
Guess you have a lot more confidence than me. :p And indeed, little compares to tearing a muscle.
 

Real Talk

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Warrior74 said:
Sounds like you've never done either if you have to ask. Apples and oranges.
This.

As a collegiate athlete I pretty much had a paranoia that if I ever took a day off from training, someone else was working their tail off that day to be better than me.

There really isnt an analog to this daily grind when it comes to girls. Even for an LTR the main reason that she is your LTR is because she makes your life better, not more stressful.
 

Plinco

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It is not comparable, women can be easier than scoring some point, but at least in sports you know what is expected of you.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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sandman6991

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J. Darko said:
Guess you have a lot more confidence than me. :p And indeed, little compares to tearing a muscle.
Haha I've just learned to not let stuff like that get me down too much...all I can do is learn from it and do better next time
 

Nygard

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I wish I could use my hockey approach to pickup : Skating fast and hitting the unsuspecting player with the shoulder.
 

kingsam

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J. Darko said:
If you are rejected by a girl however, it haunts you for the rest of your life, in your sleep, when you eat, when you take a shower, when you dream, a little voice tells you:
dude you have serious fuc.king issues if you take rejection that badly...
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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