thechosenone2190
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2009
- Messages
- 165
- Reaction score
- 6
I'm just wondering. What takes more hard work to get good at? Are they comparable?
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:Maxtro said:I'd say picking up girls is harder. Sure both can be very hard at the start and have a learning curve. The key difference is that trying to get good a picking up women can affect your confidence, ego and self-esteem in a way that sports never could. It's obvious which one hurts more, missing 10 baskets in a row and getting rejected 10 times in a row.
There also is an amount of fear that is associated with picking up women. Nobody is going to be scared while trying to throw a football for the first time. But you tell an average dude to go talk to a hot girl and he may give you a thousand excuses.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Oh I've reached my post limit for today so I might go read some more of The Lacuna or watch a film.Maxtro said:So how many girls have you picked up?
So how many girls have you picked up? :rock:CuriousGirl said:Sports. Particularly high jump, but maybe not netball.
And they're easier to understand! The pain you get from sports is more enjoyable than the pain you get from a girl turning you down.vatoloco said:Sports are way easier. They play by rules.
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I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
If you're a failure at football, you've failed at a sport.There also is an amount of fear that is associated with picking up women. Nobody is going to be scared while trying to throw a football for the first time.
This is what I feel about my life right now. Not that it's all bad, just feels like something important is missing (and trying to fill it with other things is just a temporary fix).zekko said:Not to say if you have to be good with women to have a good life, but it's hard to see a life as complete if you haven't had some women in it - unless you're a monk or such.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.