"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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What if I want to call her?

Tictac

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I had a good woman in my life until the relationship cracked up at the end of 2011. It was a rough patch for both of us - she had lost her job and the relationship (then coming up on two years) was not the best but still okay.

She backed out of a couple of dates in the same week and I just vanished on her. After she made a couple of soft attempts to get in touch, I kept NC. And everything stopped. We had a couple of conversations over the last year and half-heartedly said something about getting together for a drink. But not so far.

I've been busy with work, my kids and a few other women (some amazing stories in fact). But in the end, I'd like to at least make a run at her or make sure there is nothing there - get her back in my life or make sure that that idea is dead.

No lectures about 'one-itis' please. I've had plenty of women since we split. I'd like to ask the 'grey hairs' here for their thoughts.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Slickster

Master Don Juan
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Bury the past

If she was meant to be in your life it would have happened already.
 

Stagger Lee

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If you feel like contacting her and seeing what might come of it then I think you should give it a try. I think you will soon enough get a good idea whether or not she's worth getting involved with again. If it doesn't work out to your liking then at least you'll know once and for all.

While usually trying to revive the past is unsucessful, it's not unheard of that relationships are successful rekindled. At least you'll remove any doubt.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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WoodB

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You should call her. If you don't, it will pull on your conscience. No other way to find out where you both really stand. If she hems and haws, drop her like a hot potato. If she makes it easy for you, ask her out.
 

expos

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Ask her out - but have a back up plan (ie another woman). I know a lot of people are saying "ex's are ex's for a reason", but what worked once still has the ability to work again if two people are willing to make it work.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Tic-Tac,
You were with this Lady for two years,a fair time to know each other,the dynamic didn't overwhelm either of you did it?....Why waste your time?to go back is just to revisit the reasons why you broke up,just move on,you have had a few interesting Ladies since and at your age the Demographic swings quite wildly in your direction,making it easier and easier to find talent...If you must insist on a trip down Memory Lane,then make sure she is kept as a Plate at best...So good luck Mate!
 

The Duke

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Tictac- every time I've tried to rekindle a past flame they never really went anywhere. I even tried to pay extra attention to detail and do things right. The relationship never got back to the level it once was. I have tried 3 times and failed each time.

I recommend that you try it just so you can learn, however realize what you are up against.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Alvafe

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up to you really, just remember why last time it didn't work and if that was a mildy thing no much problem, like some say just go check its nt like you will drop all other woman for this right?
 
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