"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What have they made you get for them

MyOwnKryptonite

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Alright, Im sure all of us have been there, the girl calls and asks you to get some femanine for them

what was the worst purchase you had to buy?

I once had to get Tampax Supers, Midol, KY and the Pill perscription, all in one purchase, it wasnt bad, I dont mind buying that stuff. But some guys cant deal
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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whistler

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MyOwnKryptonite said:
I once had to get Tampax Supers, Midol, KY and the Pill perscription, all in one purchase...
LMFAO!
 

squirrels

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MyOwnKryptonite said:
lolol I got a lot of looks going through the check out to say the least
Shoulda thrown some glow-in-the-dark condoms, whipped cream, enemas, and a dog leash in there for good measure.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Jariel

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A gimp suit. :)



Only joking.

Seriously though, I'd never get that stuff for her. I have the duty of buying condoms, so she can get all that feminine stuff for herself.
 

Desdinova

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I've had to buy pads, but that's not what bothered me. What REALLY bothered me was when she'd get me to stop whatever I was doing, and ask me to go to the store to buy chocolate. If I told her no, then she'd get all fukkin pouty, *****y, and wouldn't talk to me for at least an hour, even after I broke down, went to the store, and bought her goddam chocolate bar.

Pads and tampons are necessary to women as toothpaste is to men. Chocolate isn't.
 

MyOwnKryptonite

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lol I was already out, so had I said no, I would have been in the dog house, sometimes you just have to take one for the team, in the end you get rewarded real nice
 

KillaCam

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It's all about comprimise lads. You buy her feminine stuff, she buys your booze and porn.

Give and take ya know?
 

MyOwnKryptonite

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When a girl asks me to go out and get something for her and Im not really doing anything, but dont feel like going out, I suggest that she comes along with me. It usually works 60% of the time, but if she doesnt, you just tell her you'll get to it after you finish up this "project" "work" ect ect you're doing

That, or when you're out find the nearest package store and get some booze, cause if shes ganna be acting like that, you might need a few in ya
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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