"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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What factors contribute to men becoming overly emotional in a negative manner?

jhonny9546

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In today society, What factors contribute to men becoming overly emotional in a negative manner, and how could men could become men really?

For example, a smartphone made me addict to use that 5 hours a day.
I switched to a dumbphone, and I know average 30 minutes a day (which is all calling, texting).

Is there something in this society which is triggering and shaping our behaviour to become more emotional?
If yes, could we do something to eliminate it, like I've done with the dumbphone?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Plinco

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In today society, What factors contribute to men becoming overly emotional in a negative manner, and how could men could become men really?
First you have to know that emotions are involuntary. What you do with them however is in your control.

If you are easily having negative emotions, then that points to poor mental health, as a result of not doing what you need to be doing with your life.

The solution: First you have to know what you want in life, and second, you need to be holding yourself accountable to your goals and act on them. Men who are successful are not just selfish, but intelligently selfish. Poor mental health in your adult years is a result of being ineffective.
 

obelisk

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Lack of education about emotional reactivity, what it is and how to combat it. It's not a skill set that is taught in education in any way. Most people have not spent any amount of time engaging in mindfulness practices to observe and understand their own thoughts, emotions and triggers. Social media and other dopamine triggers make people alexithymic over time as well so they are utterly blind to what is even occurring.
 

zekko

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Is there something in this society which is triggering and shaping our behaviour to become more emotional?
If yes, could we do something to eliminate it, like I've done with the dumbphone?
There are a lot of things about out current culture that is damaging to people in general, and specifically to men.
One of the biggest things is our boys are not being raised right, and there is a lack of positive male role models (fathers) in many situations. Having a father in the home is not even valued by our current culture, when it absolutely should be. IMO, everything is a loss unless we suddenly decide to embrace traditional values, which is something we've been moving away from for many decades.
 

jhonny9546

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What If I ask you guys "what you want in life" question?
What would be your answer?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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zekko

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What If I ask you guys "what you want in life" question?
What would be your answer?
At my age, a long, happy, healthy life is desirable.
 

Solomon

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Frustration and trying to measure up to a standard of success which isn't realistic (social media)
We talk about how a lot of women have been brainwashed by social media but men have as well
That's why a guy like Andrew Tate can literally come out of nowhere show you a Bugatti a bunch of hot chicks and all these (young) men are idolizing him when the reality is 95% of men will never have that life
 

obelisk

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Crush your enemies, See them driven before you, and Hear the lamentation of their women.

Amateur hour around here on a Friday. :cool:
 
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Women are the biggest drivers of emotion in men.

They're emotional creatures and they aren't happy if you're content

Edit - unless you just had sex with them or you're doing something they asked you to do
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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FlirtLife

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You mean a device made you an addict? External locus of control and lack of personal accountability. You made yourself an addict to a smartphone, and then blame the device. If you had emotional self control, you could limit your smartphone usage without having to resort to changing tech to force you to limit yourself.
Most children get a smart phone around age 11. Do they need to have "emotional self control" at that age, when they start the addiction?
 

jhonny9546

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Frustration and trying to measure up to a standard of success which isn't realistic (social media)
We talk about how a lot of women have been brainwashed by social media but men have as well
That's why a guy like Andrew Tate can literally come out of nowhere show you a Bugatti a bunch of hot chicks and all these (young) men are idolizing him when the reality is 95% of men will never have that life
Wait.. who want that life? Not me.

Women are the biggest drivers of emotion in men.

They're emotional creatures and they aren't happy if you're content
Hit so hard.

Lack of emotional intelligence, masculine camaraderie and not getting laid.
How do you get that, if you're father didn't teach this to you?

Most children get a smart phone around age 11. Do they need to have "emotional self control" at that age, when they start the addiction?
Are you with me? Those children are fkked up since their childhood.
 

jhonny9546

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Then again, I'm raising children in The Netherlands and I understand that different cultures don't care about teaching children personal responsibility and accountability.
This!
ps: do you have different children in different countries?
 

FlirtLife

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Yes, they do. My kids had phones the last grades of primary school (9-12yo), but they only got smartphones after they finished Primary school and went to the Gymnasium, because of how the educational system here works with digital systems and apps. However, at my daughter's Gymnasium, the students are not allowed to have a smartphone on school grounds (not even in their schoolbag).
Then again, I'm raising children in The Netherlands and I understand that different cultures don't care about teaching children personal responsibility and accountability.
I like your reply, and hope U.S. middle schools (6th - 8th grade, age 11-13) ban smart phones. That still leaves the problem of kids who have been using smart phones since age 10. Their happiness and anxiety are much worse than earlier generations, with smart phones looking like a key factor.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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BillyPilgrim

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Being raised in a heavily Catholic environment, OP. Lol
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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