"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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What exactly is sweet talking a girl? Whats the difference between a DJ and a simp sweet talking?

isasda66

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My last plate broke because I was didnt calibrate was far too aloof and gave non-provider vibes.

I overheard her talk to friends that she realised the "relationship wasnt going anywhere".

She didnt bring this up overtly so I could use some form of dangling the carrot for "The Talk". I was not going to bring it up, she has to bring this up first.

I guess I should have fed her some scraps but somehow I'm quite bad at validating women.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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synecdoche

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The difference between a simp talking sweet and a dj is the subtext. The simp will come off as needy and value seeking, the dj will give value and have an abundance mindset.

And this isn't just those couple of sentences but it's related to the whole dynamic between the two.

As you said yourself if you have an abundant mindset, are busy and limit your time with them you have to feed them scraps sometimes or they'll break.
 

GioWolf

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My last plate broke because I was didnt calibrate was far too aloof and gave non-provider vibes.

I overheard her talk to friends that she realised the "relationship wasnt going anywhere".

She didnt bring this up overtly so I could use some form of dangling the carrot for "The Talk". I was not going to bring it up, she has to bring this up first.

I guess I should have fed her some scraps but somehow I'm quite bad at validating women.
that’s not really a plate, it was a girl you were stringing along to use for sex.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Sweet talking only works if she already pulled into your frame, ie if you are leading and aloof. For a relationship, you need the right mix of tenderness and aggression, ie providing but also dominating.
 

corrector

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My last plate broke because I was didnt calibrate was far too aloof and gave non-provider vibes.

I overheard her talk to friends that she realised the "relationship wasnt going anywhere".

She didnt bring this up overtly so I could use some form of dangling the carrot for "The Talk". I was not going to bring it up, she has to bring this up first.

I guess I should have fed her some scraps but somehow I'm quite bad at validating women.
Women have plenty of options all the time. Maybe she just met someone else that was more attractive looks wise than you. When you start blaming yourself for a break-up and saying it's because this or that then you already have a scarcity mindset and are projecting that on her. A guy with options does not micro-analyze any break-up or write threads about it, you just move on to the next girl(s) you have. With the right girl you can't do no wrong.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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isasda66

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that’s not really a plate, it was a girl you were stringing along to use for sex.
Lets not go into that. She was stringing along a few guys too.

I was not averse to a relationship with her, just not at that time.

Women have plenty of options all the time. Maybe she just met someone else that was more attractive looks wise than you. When you start blaming yourself for a break-up and saying it's because this or that then you already have a scarcity mindset and are projecting that on her. A guy with options does not micro-analyze any break-up or write threads about it, you just move on to the next girl(s) you have. With the right girl you can't do no wrong.
I'm fine if she leaves. Just want to learn how to feed them scraps. I can be quite cold and aloof.

Sweet talking only works if she already pulled into your frame, ie if you are leading and aloof. For a relationship, you need the right mix of tenderness and aggression, ie providing but also dominating.
This is what gets me. The providing but being dominant. I got the dominant part. Care to elaborate on the providing?
 
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