"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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What exactly is sweet talking a girl? Whats the difference between a DJ and a simp sweet talking?

isasda66

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My last plate broke because I was didnt calibrate was far too aloof and gave non-provider vibes.

I overheard her talk to friends that she realised the "relationship wasnt going anywhere".

She didnt bring this up overtly so I could use some form of dangling the carrot for "The Talk". I was not going to bring it up, she has to bring this up first.

I guess I should have fed her some scraps but somehow I'm quite bad at validating women.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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synecdoche

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The difference between a simp talking sweet and a dj is the subtext. The simp will come off as needy and value seeking, the dj will give value and have an abundance mindset.

And this isn't just those couple of sentences but it's related to the whole dynamic between the two.

As you said yourself if you have an abundant mindset, are busy and limit your time with them you have to feed them scraps sometimes or they'll break.
 

GioWolf

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My last plate broke because I was didnt calibrate was far too aloof and gave non-provider vibes.

I overheard her talk to friends that she realised the "relationship wasnt going anywhere".

She didnt bring this up overtly so I could use some form of dangling the carrot for "The Talk". I was not going to bring it up, she has to bring this up first.

I guess I should have fed her some scraps but somehow I'm quite bad at validating women.
that’s not really a plate, it was a girl you were stringing along to use for sex.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Sweet talking only works if she already pulled into your frame, ie if you are leading and aloof. For a relationship, you need the right mix of tenderness and aggression, ie providing but also dominating.
 

corrector

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My last plate broke because I was didnt calibrate was far too aloof and gave non-provider vibes.

I overheard her talk to friends that she realised the "relationship wasnt going anywhere".

She didnt bring this up overtly so I could use some form of dangling the carrot for "The Talk". I was not going to bring it up, she has to bring this up first.

I guess I should have fed her some scraps but somehow I'm quite bad at validating women.
Women have plenty of options all the time. Maybe she just met someone else that was more attractive looks wise than you. When you start blaming yourself for a break-up and saying it's because this or that then you already have a scarcity mindset and are projecting that on her. A guy with options does not micro-analyze any break-up or write threads about it, you just move on to the next girl(s) you have. With the right girl you can't do no wrong.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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isasda66

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that’s not really a plate, it was a girl you were stringing along to use for sex.
Lets not go into that. She was stringing along a few guys too.

I was not averse to a relationship with her, just not at that time.

Women have plenty of options all the time. Maybe she just met someone else that was more attractive looks wise than you. When you start blaming yourself for a break-up and saying it's because this or that then you already have a scarcity mindset and are projecting that on her. A guy with options does not micro-analyze any break-up or write threads about it, you just move on to the next girl(s) you have. With the right girl you can't do no wrong.
I'm fine if she leaves. Just want to learn how to feed them scraps. I can be quite cold and aloof.

Sweet talking only works if she already pulled into your frame, ie if you are leading and aloof. For a relationship, you need the right mix of tenderness and aggression, ie providing but also dominating.
This is what gets me. The providing but being dominant. I got the dominant part. Care to elaborate on the providing?
 
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