"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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What exactly is sweet talking a girl? Whats the difference between a DJ and a simp sweet talking?

isasda66

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My last plate broke because I was didnt calibrate was far too aloof and gave non-provider vibes.

I overheard her talk to friends that she realised the "relationship wasnt going anywhere".

She didnt bring this up overtly so I could use some form of dangling the carrot for "The Talk". I was not going to bring it up, she has to bring this up first.

I guess I should have fed her some scraps but somehow I'm quite bad at validating women.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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synecdoche

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The difference between a simp talking sweet and a dj is the subtext. The simp will come off as needy and value seeking, the dj will give value and have an abundance mindset.

And this isn't just those couple of sentences but it's related to the whole dynamic between the two.

As you said yourself if you have an abundant mindset, are busy and limit your time with them you have to feed them scraps sometimes or they'll break.
 

GioWolf

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My last plate broke because I was didnt calibrate was far too aloof and gave non-provider vibes.

I overheard her talk to friends that she realised the "relationship wasnt going anywhere".

She didnt bring this up overtly so I could use some form of dangling the carrot for "The Talk". I was not going to bring it up, she has to bring this up first.

I guess I should have fed her some scraps but somehow I'm quite bad at validating women.
that’s not really a plate, it was a girl you were stringing along to use for sex.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Sweet talking only works if she already pulled into your frame, ie if you are leading and aloof. For a relationship, you need the right mix of tenderness and aggression, ie providing but also dominating.
 

corrector

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My last plate broke because I was didnt calibrate was far too aloof and gave non-provider vibes.

I overheard her talk to friends that she realised the "relationship wasnt going anywhere".

She didnt bring this up overtly so I could use some form of dangling the carrot for "The Talk". I was not going to bring it up, she has to bring this up first.

I guess I should have fed her some scraps but somehow I'm quite bad at validating women.
Women have plenty of options all the time. Maybe she just met someone else that was more attractive looks wise than you. When you start blaming yourself for a break-up and saying it's because this or that then you already have a scarcity mindset and are projecting that on her. A guy with options does not micro-analyze any break-up or write threads about it, you just move on to the next girl(s) you have. With the right girl you can't do no wrong.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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isasda66

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that’s not really a plate, it was a girl you were stringing along to use for sex.
Lets not go into that. She was stringing along a few guys too.

I was not averse to a relationship with her, just not at that time.

Women have plenty of options all the time. Maybe she just met someone else that was more attractive looks wise than you. When you start blaming yourself for a break-up and saying it's because this or that then you already have a scarcity mindset and are projecting that on her. A guy with options does not micro-analyze any break-up or write threads about it, you just move on to the next girl(s) you have. With the right girl you can't do no wrong.
I'm fine if she leaves. Just want to learn how to feed them scraps. I can be quite cold and aloof.

Sweet talking only works if she already pulled into your frame, ie if you are leading and aloof. For a relationship, you need the right mix of tenderness and aggression, ie providing but also dominating.
This is what gets me. The providing but being dominant. I got the dominant part. Care to elaborate on the providing?
 
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