"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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What does narcissist do wheb they sense youre physically/emotionally checking out.

Focal core

Master Don Juan
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We could be doing or thinking something that benefits us instead of to discuss them. Making progress. Growing. Adjusting our boundaries so one of them couldn't happen again.
Our technology has enough to handle multitasking. More processing cores more power. ;)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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mrgoodstuff

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Our technology has enough to handle multitasking. More processing cores more power. ;)
Continuing to process negative events is a waste of computational power. Psychology weighs negative thought at somewhere between 6 and 16 times more powerful than positive thoughts. Thus for each one negative thought or you will need 6-16 positive thoughts to overcome it.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Yeah they are masters at the silent treatment. MASTERS. They can go days, weeks, months and even years doing it. They can also pop back in whenever they’re ready like nothing ever happened. It’s not about you, it’s about them and how useful you can be to them. The covert narcissist I dated for a year, it took me awhile but I sorta figured out her patterns. Every 6-7 weeks she would devalue me and discard me, I didn’t always know the reason but the timeline always matched up to 6-7 weeks. She’d gaslight me into starting a fight so she could use that ad the excuse to ignore me. In the beginning it lasted for 12 hours, then it would go to 2-4 days, then it would go to a week, then a couple weeks, then the final discard lasted a couple months. She ended up popping back into my life wanting to meet up and talk, even though I’d been pushing it and was getting ignored so I dropped it. It had to be on her terms not mine. The meetup had to be her idea, and it seemed normal for awhile again but it was all a play. She ended up discarding me for good not long after that and I haven’t heard from her since.
Lucky you. Your self worth starts rising immediately after her.
 
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