"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
What do you hide from your Girlfriends and Plates?
- Thread starter Urbanyst
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
resilient
Master Don Juan
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My unsolicited advice would be to withdraw attention if they're getting too nosy or they aren't riding along with your answers...
When she asks my job I say "Biomedical field service rep" which is true.
I purposely withhold company name & salary info.
Sexual History. I don't want to know theirs. They don't need to know mine. As long as she is STD free I could care less.
Political & Religious views. Something I would only want to know about as we get closer to being in an LTR.
That's about it. Depending on the girl, if she gives me a vindictive vibe I may withhold the location of my personal residence.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Masculinity
Master Don Juan
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I don't volunteer information about my other plates or the number of girls I have banged. Even if they ask, j don't answer. If they ask how many other women I'm seeing, I just chuckle or make my answer playful and change the topic.
I agree with cola. Not a single woman I dated knew how much money I made or exactly what I did for work. I also don't talk about my religious views. I'm spiritual, but not religious so if a girl is religious, I'd probably next her.
One of my plates told me this weekend: "You know everything about me and I don't know anything about you!" So I replied with: "What do you want to know?" and she started asking loads of questions. I was very evasive in my answers which frustrated her. Then she asked me what is the big secret why I don't open up. Then I asked her why she is trying to f*ck up our relationship when things are going so well. She said she just wants to know I trust her. Then I told her I will trust her more if she puts all her money in my bank account. She didn't like that.
From past experience, women will tell you they are trying to bond and its because they "care". But sometimes they're digging for info they can use to gain power. Already been through that. Lots of bad experiences opening up to women.
In the LTR department I'm still not 100% on how much to reveal to women. Some women can be trusted more than others, but you never really know. I've had women I thought I could trust turn on me in the past.
resilient
Master Don Juan
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I hear ya man. That happens to me every time. You think that their questions are representative on behalf of their high interest level or attempts to increase intimacy, strengthen a pair-bond, when most often it's usually their hamster gathering ammunition that they use against you to gain leverage over you like you said or rationalize monkey branch jumping.
Keep your DJ skills sharp with this one. She may prove to be too much maintenance to keep as a plate. That's up to your discretion though.
Lol'd at the money in bank comment.
QuadDeuces
Master Don Juan
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
EmotionalGeek
Senior Don Juan
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
I wasn't with you until this line, this line makes her sound really fishy
Lol.
You answered your own question bro. She doesn't really about care you, the relationship, the closeness, the oneness, the intimacy, or the sex. She wants to get leverage so she can use it against you. She feels like she has no POWER in the relationship and is digging to get it.
Think about it, if everything is awesome, why is she looking to ''change'' the terms now?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Yeah, she has almost no power in the relationship at all. That's how I usually roll with women. But its also why (I think) my relationships never pass the one year mark. I never give women that power they want.
So I'm wondering if I need to loosen up more to stretch out these relationships? While replacing women is easy, its getting old having to do it so often. I'd like to date my plates longer so I can focus more on making money.
Hell no...never give up your power,I never do and I can make it last for years..sounds like you have a frame issue.
True.
I actually credit a lot of my career success to my short relationships with women. They're a major distraction. Now that I'm further in my career I figured maybe I can extend my relationships a little longer so I don't have to spend as much time/energy pulling new women. Work is getting busier and I don't have as much time to pull new plates.
I do. May main issue is I hate drama.
So when drama comes I either dump the girl or disengage from her.. which makes things worse. Drama is one of those sh*t tests I always fail. I'm too logical.