"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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what do you do when you have to fart

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joekerr31

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so what do you guys do when you are with your gal, either cuddling or in bed, and you have to let rip a massive egg fart?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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white sox bill

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I bodybuild so I eat massive amounts of protein, so I'm always a bit gassy---be proactive, take Gas X beforehand. Otherwise go to bathroom...of your really comfy with her, let em rip!
 

Weak_Game

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white sox bill said:
I bodybuild so I eat massive amounts of protein, so I'm always a bit gassy---be proactive, take Gas X beforehand. Otherwise go to bathroom...of your really comfy with her, let em rip!
Me as well. Eating 6-8 meals a day, along with alot of oats... i get extremly gassy. They dont reek.. but they are LOUD just alot of built up gas due to the excessive carbs.

When i meet a new girl and were hanging out near the end of the day i get extremly gassy, i usually hold them in. Probably not the best idea, and whenever she leaves... i let them fly, and when you hold them in they just go back up the intestinal tract and build up even more. Also ive actually had to fart so bad and held them in so long, i got cramps and couldnt maintain an erection due to the excessive bloat and pain.

I never thought about taking gas x pills do they really work? I gotta do something. Nothing is more of a turn off then massive farting when hanging out with a new girl.
 

Good_ol_boy

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Dutch Oven!!
 

wrender

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Dutch Oven!!
Lol. Yes this works in conjunction to what DonJuanJovi (great name btw) said. Except don't go and pull the covers over both of your heads.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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white sox bill

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Weak_Game said:
Me as well. Eating 6-8 meals a day, along with alot of oats... i get extremly gassy. They dont reek.. but they are LOUD just alot of built up gas due to the excessive carbs.

When i meet a new girl and were hanging out near the end of the day i get extremly gassy, i usually hold them in. Probably not the best idea, and whenever she leaves... i let them fly, and when you hold them in they just go back up the intestinal tract and build up even more. Also ive actually had to fart so bad and held them in so long, i got cramps and couldnt maintain an erection due to the excessive bloat and pain.

I never thought about taking gas x pills do they really work? I gotta do something. Nothing is more of a turn off then massive farting when hanging out with a new girl.

They seem to help although they don't get rid of gas entirely.
 

amoka

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The best advice is to excuse yourself, depart from the scene, and let it go slow...
 

NINJA PIMP

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I find its a huge indicator of interest if she ignores my loud, smelly farts.

to each his own though
 

mrRuckus

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white sox bill said:
I bodybuild so I eat massive amounts of protein, so I'm always a bit gassy---be proactive, take Gas X beforehand. Otherwise go to bathroom...of your really comfy with her, let em rip!
I eat 400g a day and i'm not gassy. Why are you?
 

Weak_Game

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mrRuckus said:
I eat 400g a day and i'm not gassy. Why are you?
480g of carbs... just from oats alone... 5'11 210lbs 10% bf

this isnt including carbs from chicken meat brocolli or anything else i happen to eat throughout the day

i fart ALOT, throughout the day after i start getting passed my 4th 5th meal....

i also drink a dozen eggs a day on top of that, then protein farts from powder... sometimes they dont smell at all!... its like all air though when i fart almost no smell
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Umm, ever consider excusing yourself to go to the bathroom? You'd be a bit more embarrassed if you let something slip other than just a fart.
 

DJDamage

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Umm, ever consider excusing yourself to go to the bathroom? You'd be a bit more embarrassed if you let something slip other than just a fart.
While in the bathroom make sure you turn on the fan and the water to muffle the sound. Don't forget to have matches with you, the smell of lighting a match will naturalize the smell of fart. Just don't be a dumbass and do what Jim Carrey did in "Dumb and Dumber" cause you will burn yourself.

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html
 

Weak_Game

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Umm, ever consider excusing yourself to go to the bathroom? You'd be a bit more embarrassed if you let something slip other than just a fart.
problem with this is the gas is so freequent id be excussing myself numerous times... i might as well stay in the bathroom, like i said it dosent smell for me its just LOUD gas... and lots of it... due to eating 8 small meals. I ll try the gas x though, and or continue to hold them.
 

Latinoman

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Weak_Game said:
problem with this is the gas is so freequent id be excussing myself numerous times... i might as well stay in the bathroom, like i said it dosent smell for me its just LOUD gas... and lots of it... due to eating 8 small meals. I ll try the gas x though, and or continue to hold them.

Then change your diet.

You know...you are going to have to compromise something.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Weak_Game said:
problem with this is the gas is so freequent id be excussing myself numerous times... i might as well stay in the bathroom, like i said it dosent smell for me its just LOUD gas... and lots of it... due to eating 8 small meals. I ll try the gas x though, and or continue to hold them.
Dude, take a dump! :p You should be taking at least 1 or 2 good ones a day. If you can't you may have an enzym problem causing gastric distress.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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tuxen said:
haha, isnt it funny how all day long theres hardly any farts, the second you go on a date you've got 20 in the bank. :)
Accruing compound interest at that.... And of course there's a penalty for early withdrawal. :p
 

lettuce head

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Haven't you guys ever heard the rule "once you make a woman cvm, you can fart in front of her?"

That's what I go by. Previous to intimacy, nogo. After you've made her squeal, let em RIP CONFIDENTLY! Farting is great.
 

joekerr31

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i gotta say, i never though my farting post would get so many responses.

great feedback guy.
:cheer:
 

DJDamage

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joekerr31 said:
i gotta say, i never though my farting post would get so many responses.

great feedback guy.
:cheer:
You know what this thread is missing don't you??

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/fartboard.html

I had a bad one yesterday it sounded alot like the commodetion one. :crackup:
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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