"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
what do you do when you have to fart
- Thread starter joekerr31
- Start date
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
white sox bill
Senior Don Juan
Me as well. Eating 6-8 meals a day, along with alot of oats... i get extremly gassy. They dont reek.. but they are LOUD just alot of built up gas due to the excessive carbs.white sox bill said:
When i meet a new girl and were hanging out near the end of the day i get extremly gassy, i usually hold them in. Probably not the best idea, and whenever she leaves... i let them fly, and when you hold them in they just go back up the intestinal tract and build up even more. Also ive actually had to fart so bad and held them in so long, i got cramps and couldnt maintain an erection due to the excessive bloat and pain.
I never thought about taking gas x pills do they really work? I gotta do something. Nothing is more of a turn off then massive farting when hanging out with a new girl.
Good_ol_boy
Senior Don Juan
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
white sox bill
Senior Don Juan
Weak_Game said:
They seem to help although they don't get rid of gas entirely.
NINJA PIMP
Banned
to each his own though
480g of carbs... just from oats alone... 5'11 210lbs 10% bfmrRuckus said:
this isnt including carbs from chicken meat brocolli or anything else i happen to eat throughout the day
i fart ALOT, throughout the day after i start getting passed my 4th 5th meal....
i also drink a dozen eggs a day on top of that, then protein farts from powder... sometimes they dont smell at all!... its like all air though when i fart almost no smell
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
While in the bathroom make sure you turn on the fan and the water to muffle the sound. Don't forget to have matches with you, the smell of lighting a match will naturalize the smell of fart. Just don't be a dumbass and do what Jim Carrey did in "Dumb and Dumber" cause you will burn yourself.Francisco d'Anconia said:
http://www.heptune.com/farts.html
problem with this is the gas is so freequent id be excussing myself numerous times... i might as well stay in the bathroom, like i said it dosent smell for me its just LOUD gas... and lots of it... due to eating 8 small meals. I ll try the gas x though, and or continue to hold them.Francisco d'Anconia said:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Dude, take a dump!Weak_Game said:
You should be taking at least 1 or 2 good ones a day. If you can't you may have an enzym problem causing gastric distress."I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
tuxen
Don Juan
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Accruing compound interest at that.... And of course there's a penalty for early withdrawal.tuxen said:haha, isnt it funny how all day long theres hardly any farts, the second you go on a date you've got 20 in the bank.
lettuce head
New Member
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That's what I go by. Previous to intimacy, nogo. After you've made her squeal, let em RIP CONFIDENTLY! Farting is great.
You know what this thread is missing don't you??joekerr31 said:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/fartboard.html
I had a bad one yesterday it sounded alot like the commodetion one. :crackup:
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
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