Well thanks to the few who actually tried to give me their opinion on what drama means to them. It was appreciated. Im glad some of you can actually talk and communicate with women to help us to better our relationships. That was the purpose of this question. To the rest of you, well never mind. I dont need advice from these types, but thanks anyway.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
What do you consider DRAMA?
- Thread starter kathy
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
My Name is Nobody
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kathy said:
You're welcome.
lol answered her own question.
There's probably good drama and bad drama. When a chick can't figure you out, sees you're not a chump who jumps at her say-so, she gets those drama feelings and ends up obsessing and that's good drama I suppose. She's getting those needs met.
Bad drama is only experienced by guys who put up with it. I mean if you're not jumping at her every whim, you can't be "boxed in", and on top of that, you don't tolerate second class behavior from a woman, how much BAD drama are YOU as a man actually going to EXPERIENCE???
Lots of guys, and like I usually say I did this too--enjoy the drama just as much. They spend a lot of time saying "that bytch did this--she did that---who does she think she is---I'm gonna show that chick--etc" that's drama too. So I guess drama in one finds it in another.
A smart girl would realize, like Interceptor said earlier, that if she wants to keep a man that has a low tolerance for BS, then it's probably better to not pull out the BS. Then both get what they want.
So people who get off on drama find each other, people that get off on non-drama maybe find each other too.
At least, I don't understand how a man who has high standards could be surrounded by too much drama. As my standards for my own behavior increase, I find that getting caught up in drama (from anyone, guys or girls) is tiring. It can really take over your mind and you kind of get sucked into this cycle of being pissed off but getting "high" off it at the same time. Takes a lot out of you. When you live like that the highs are high but the lows are even lower.
edit--lol, I notice how in my response I didn't even bother to list what I consider female drama. That's a good thing.
There's probably good drama and bad drama. When a chick can't figure you out, sees you're not a chump who jumps at her say-so, she gets those drama feelings and ends up obsessing and that's good drama I suppose. She's getting those needs met.
Bad drama is only experienced by guys who put up with it. I mean if you're not jumping at her every whim, you can't be "boxed in", and on top of that, you don't tolerate second class behavior from a woman, how much BAD drama are YOU as a man actually going to EXPERIENCE???
Lots of guys, and like I usually say I did this too--enjoy the drama just as much. They spend a lot of time saying "that bytch did this--she did that---who does she think she is---I'm gonna show that chick--etc" that's drama too. So I guess drama in one finds it in another.
A smart girl would realize, like Interceptor said earlier, that if she wants to keep a man that has a low tolerance for BS, then it's probably better to not pull out the BS. Then both get what they want.
So people who get off on drama find each other, people that get off on non-drama maybe find each other too.
At least, I don't understand how a man who has high standards could be surrounded by too much drama. As my standards for my own behavior increase, I find that getting caught up in drama (from anyone, guys or girls) is tiring. It can really take over your mind and you kind of get sucked into this cycle of being pissed off but getting "high" off it at the same time. Takes a lot out of you. When you live like that the highs are high but the lows are even lower.
edit--lol, I notice how in my response I didn't even bother to list what I consider female drama. That's a good thing.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
my belief that drama is any unnecessary stuff being dished out , that you do not want to deal with.
everyone's perception of drama is going to vary.
everyone's perception of drama is going to vary.
the reason, i believe, that women are so prone to drama is that they are raised to 'fight' using jabs, barbs, covert insults, etc.
women create drama because often when they get upset they aren't upset over what they are saying is upsetting them.
for instance, she will get upset over you being late, but really she's upset that you fell asleep in the middle of making love the night before.
a woman who says what she means and means what she says can throw fits and tantrums all the time and it is no big deal.
men can handle women when they get upset and are upset over what they say they are upset about.
what drives men nuts, and whats considered drama, is when they lose it over little things (and the reality is they aren't actually upset over that little thing, its something bigger, usually that they aren't getting enough 'attention').
women create drama because often when they get upset they aren't upset over what they are saying is upsetting them.
for instance, she will get upset over you being late, but really she's upset that you fell asleep in the middle of making love the night before.
a woman who says what she means and means what she says can throw fits and tantrums all the time and it is no big deal.
men can handle women when they get upset and are upset over what they say they are upset about.
what drives men nuts, and whats considered drama, is when they lose it over little things (and the reality is they aren't actually upset over that little thing, its something bigger, usually that they aren't getting enough 'attention').
With all due respect...it is virtually IMPOSSIBLE to change the behavior of a woman that is 50. If you were a drama queen in your 30s and 40s...you will be a drama queen at 50 and there is NOTHING we can say or do to change that.kathy said:
Was going to say the same thing. Most of us exhibit some form of drama , as we all perceive some events as being important to some degree. Some fall to the far end of the spectrum; women in most cases from my observations. I can not exclude men from this, as I have had friends break out their best drama performance. Indifference eventually breaks them down; I simply do not respond to it and encourage it.penkitten said:
It's easy to see why this has been a problem for you. All of this is extreme drama.kathy said:
Drama: amongst the many things said already..... not taking criticism well, and choosing to be defensive instead of laughing about it.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.