"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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What do people make of the "grey area"?

V

vorbis

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This refers mainly to club hookups. In the main I imagine this shouldn't be an issue for someone with a gf :D

So you're out, you meet someone and you end up going back to yours or theirs. Maybe theres a bit of a party and at about 3 AM you end up alone with her in a bed or on a couch.

Now theres black and white outcomes here. You make some moves, zero resistance and you screw her. Or you make your moves, she resists, you try again and she gets pissed at you.

However, I'm having moral issues with the grey area in between. Part of me feels that she's with me on a couch / bed at 3 AM so she's up for sex. Another part is uncomfortable with making really big moves if she seems unwilling. (e.g. taking off her panties)

As an example, I was with a girl on a couch and was fingering her. She didn't want to go farther as she was afraid someone would walk in. She used her hands to block me removing her pyjamas. In hindsight, I believe she would have gone along with it if I had aggressively removed them as she did the same thing when I tried to feel her breast.

So what do ye generally do? With some girls you get the feeling that they're not fully ok with having sex with you but won't kick up enough fuss to fully stop your advances. In no way am I suggesting physically overpowering her, thats rape. Its this in between area that confuses me.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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B

biker_gixxer

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I don't stick around until 3 AM. hoping to get some a$$. I'll make an apperance at the party, get her informtion then leave. There are to many obstacles to over come in that type of situation, unless you are dealing with a girl that is very $exual.
 
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vorbis

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i should clarify. you meet a girl in bar / club and amybe end up going back to her place. Sometimes if she's got roommates, there might be a bit of drinking and smoking for a small whie when ye get back. Not exactly a party I suppose. By the time you're alone with the girl its about 3 AM.

Theres no hanging around as such. Also regards numbers, I find that if you don't do them that night, then follow up success is low. The type of girl you pick up at 1:30 AM in a bar / club is not looking for a relationship.
 
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