"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What do I do?

wtopher

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Hey DJs everywhere,

I've been seeing this girl for 2 months now. We're both 15 years old.

She's nice, she's amazing, and I'm happy with her.

Recently, we've been talking about our relationship, if we were official, and she tells me that I'm too special to risk at the moment, and that it's too soon from her last breakup. She was kinda overlapping her ex and me when we were first seeing each other.

But I understand, and I've been giving her time and space.

I know for a fact that 3 other guys like her, and I get jealous easily. How do I know if she's committed to me, if she wants to be with me? If she's not seeing other guys? I really like this girl and I don't want to miss her.

We've already started 2nd base (touching) physically, so I wonder about her commitment emotionally.

Thanks.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Rhoto

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Oh boy...

Best way to gauge her feelings - make her jealous. Start spending your time with other girls.

But if this chick does like you, she will want to be committed...now.

Think about it - WTF does "too special to risk at the moment" really mean?

She doesn't want to stay attached so she can be free to do whatever she wants with whomever she wants. Think about it dude - she was hanging out with you and her ex at the same time. What does that say about her values and yours?

My opinion - Cut off the contact. No text replies, no phone calls that last for more than 2 minutes, no IMs, facebook any of that sh1t.

Whatever she asks you - "Are you mad at me" "Did I do something wrong" or whatever your only response should be - "No." And DROP the conversation. Do not show emotions, don't say things like "I really like you and want to be with you." They backfire, tried and tested.

You're 15 man. Have fun with girls, don't be some needy chump that will torture himself for one measly pair of tits and a vagina. And I appreciate that you like her, having a girl around that you can kiss and touch is fun, but remember, there are tons of them out there and you don't know what makes you happy until you know a lot of them.

Focus on school and getting into a good college.
Focus on joining clubs and learning how to dynamically interact with a lot of people.
Focus on becoming a better man.
 

wtopher

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Thanks Rhoto.

She keeps saying that it's too soon from her last breakup. That's all she keeps saying if the subject pops up.

I'll take your advice and stop sending messages for a bit.

She doesn't go to my school, but my friend that knows her and goes to her school says she's hanging around with this guy. A lot, nothing sexually and such, just he hangs around with her a lot.

Thanks for your help,
wtopher.
 

wtopher

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Oh, and I hang out with a bunch of female friends. I don't want to make this situation into a game though.
 

Rhoto

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wtopher said:
Thanks Rhoto.

She keeps saying that it's too soon from her last breakup. That's all she keeps saying if the subject pops up.

I'll take your advice and stop sending messages for a bit.

She doesn't go to my school, but my friend that knows her and goes to her school says she's hanging around with this guy. A lot, nothing sexually and such, just he hangs around with her a lot.

Thanks for your help,
wtopher.
Again, stop caring man. And if you mean "for a bit" it should be a month at least. If not the rest of the school year.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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dj_jazzybrad

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Hey man, I was just in the EXACT same situation. I got jealous easily, and the girl that i was seeing who didnt want to be "official" was chilling with other guys, trying to make me jealous on purpose. I hung with other girls, and she started being a total b!tch to my friends who were girls that i was hanging out with, so I nexted her. She's been trying to contact me, but i've moved on and it was a good decision. Probably not the outcome you're looking for, but it helps and it showed me that she definitely wasn't right for me.

I've definitely learned a lot from her.
 

wtopher

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I ended it with her. Thank you very much. You all have helped me out a lot.

wtopher.
 
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