What can we learn from the boss? Manipulative attitude

[jhonny9546]

Hey guys, so the boss learned that one of the employees was stealing cash from the store register. After that, he usually returned from his errands, went into the office, and while he was at the printer in the room where this person we call the "thief" was also present, rather than confront him directly and say, "Come talk to me, I have something to tell you," or at least resolve the matter, he started telling an anecdote:

(He manages offices in multiple locations and has multiple registers in multiple locations)

"I was at the Manchester office, and at a certain point I had to leave €400 in cash on Claudio desk, informing him I had to leave for emergency. I told him I'd be right back. When I'd finished the urgent call, I came back and the €400 was gone, so I got furious and said, 'Claudio, we've been colleagues since we're kids, you can't possibly know what happened to the money I left you."

He says He lost it or that it probably flew away in the wind.


Another anecdote is that they discovered a colleague who was breaking into the department at night to steal things.

He was treated the same way, every now and then when he sees him he says, "So? Did you sleep well last night? No, because I don't know what you do at night. You have amazing ideas and you could build a prototype of a spaceship any day now."

Now, I repeat, he said this, instead of telling that person directly that he had done something wrong.

In this case, what is this technique called?

I've noticed that my boss, instead of speaking directly to people, makes up stories about what he wanted to tell them directly, but instead tells them through stories. I don't understand why. A respectable man can't do this. From my point of view, it's pure manipulation.

 

[Travel memoir21]

Sounds like a different leadership style which may work for some but not the others. You want a leadership style which is direct, firm yet calm and encouraging and understanding. You want a coach or a leader who sees things from your point of view and has the power of empathy.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Johnie,
How the World has changed.....As an Adolescent I worked for a time in a Department Store...Such gentle Chastising was not in their book,you were instantly dismissed for being ten minutes late without good excuse.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Hi Johnie,
How the World has changed.....As an Adolescent I worked for a time in a Department Store...Such gentle Chastising was not in their book,you were instantly dismissed for being ten minutes late without good excuse.

Bah, in my day they fed you to the crocs

 

[BackInTheGame78]

When I managed stores, I called the cops and you went to jail. And every employee was told this in the interview process. You steal from me, you go to jail and I'm not fvcking kidding.

 

[plumber]

I've noticed that my boss, instead of speaking directly to people, makes up stories about what he wanted to tell them directly, but instead tells them through stories. I don't understand why. A respectable man can't do this. From my point of view, it's pure manipulation.

he understands structure vs emotion. but is not disciplined enough to actually play at the higher level. so he hides his emotional need to let you KNOW that he is powerful. the real overlord will just let the machinery do it in silence and smile.

 

[Scaramouche]

Bah, in my day they fed you to the crocs

Hi Billy,
Of course you had it easy....we got the Will Hotspur treatment,evidently he was Hung,then drawn between four Horses, finally his bones were ground "exceeding fine"at the local Mill.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Hi Billy,
Of course you had it easy....we got the Will Hotspur treatment,evidently he was Hung,then drawn between four Horses, finally his bones were ground "exceeding fine"at the local Mill.

You think that's bad, Will Clinton had to have sex with Hillary.

 

[jhonny9546]

the real overlord will just let the machinery do it in silence and smile.

This is my attitude. Not the boss's.

They tell me I'm exaggerating. But not "wrong."

 

[eli77]

Management is not the same as it was in the nineties.Cubicle nation is no more thats a good thing.

 

[ludovic991]

That technique is called indirect communication or passive-aggressive conflict resolution. It avoids direct confrontation but delivers the message. It's done to save face or avoid an emotional scene. It often backfires because the message isn't clear enough.

 

[jhonny9546]

That technique is called indirect communication or passive-aggressive conflict resolution. It avoids direct confrontation but delivers the message. It's done to save face or avoid an emotional scene. It often backfires because the message isn't clear enough.

The cool thing is that the boss is not using that at workplace only, but also in his personal life.
So it's not a technique, rather just a natural skill he have.
Good or bad.

 

[jhonny9546]

New workplace, New boss, actually similar attitude.
Listen to this one

My boss met with a client (let's call client1) who apparently owed a debt of around $5,000.
This client hadn't paid because another supplier (client2) had offered, five years earlier, to cover the debt, claiming he owed money to this client1.

So, my boss initially flew into a rage at Client 1 (who was right there in the meeting), telling him it was unacceptable to have racked up such a debt with his company; he scolded him, insisting that even though Client 2 had promised to settle the debt, Client 1 should have paid it himself.

After that, he told him to call Client 2 live.
While in call, Client 1 told Client 2 that he had expected the debt to be paid, which was why he had withheld payment, and pointed out that this situation had made him look bad in front of the boss.

During the call, the boss told Client 2 to speak directly with Client 1, saying he wanted to remain "impartial."

That said, before ending the call, he took the phone, went to another room, told Client 2 that Client 1 had been a deadbeat for not paying, and added that he would see if He could manage to do something about it.

Then, once the call with Client 2 ended, he turned back to Client 1, acting emphatic towards him; He said Client 1 might actually be right and that Client 2 should have kept him informed.. after all.

They parted ways with a handshake.


Now, I consider my boss to be a master manipulator.
He made sure to stay on good terms with both of them, yet he badmouthed each one to the other.

That's just how he operates; he's managed to build an incredibly vast network of people who have traits like that and earns a million dollars a year.

So the opportunity for me it's asking how he work.
I can see how he behaves, and that he does the exact same thing with his friends, family, and so on.

He also done that, and still do that to me, even tho I know He always says things like "you're a genius", "how could I've done that without you", or just other compliments, but He does have those moments where he manages to confuse people about his position, he gets angry at them by telling anecdotes, never telling you directly that he's angry with you, he always minces words, and then, after he gets angry, he always manages to find a way to get you back among his graces.
And everything always ends well.


What's your take on him? What kind of man is he?
Feel free to share your thoughts.