"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
"What are you up to babe"
- Thread starter inzone50
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
smooth guy
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2007
- Messages
- 306
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What I do is just make it plain and simple to to them I don't like giving a full report how my day went. If they wanna be with you usually they respect that.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
You're saying that you have no idea whether or not the girl you're dating trusts you?!!?inzone50 said:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Since she trusts you you may consider telling her that it feels like she doesn't trust you and that you aren't sure if that's her intention. Find out why she's doing it and it will give you a bit more insight into her and your relationship.inzone50 said:
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Alright, that makes sense. Is there something that you can do to take control of the situation and redirect her from bugging you by texting all of the time?inzone50 said:
i redirect the subject sometimes... but still everyday she asks, so how was your day? or what are you doing/did today, what are your plans for tonight. no matter what we talk about it she throws that question in.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Enough or too much?inzone50 said:
Just for sh1tz n' giggles, why not offer that information straight away and see where the conversation goes? Also, it's not as if you have to answer every one of her calls. You could be busy doing "nothing" y'know.inzone50 said:
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
penkitten
Master Don Juan
because if there were no small talk at all, she would feel less significant than your girlfriend.inzone50 said:
by small talking with you daily, she is interacting with you.
she is probably not checking up on you, rather than just small talking about what your plans are or her plans are to have something to talk about.
I usually respond to those texts politely or respond instead with a question like "how are you?" or "thats ironic i was just thinkin about you", etc. It builds comfort and rapport and takes only a second. If they ask "Where are you" or "what are you doing right now" then C&F is the Way to go most of the time. It really doesn't bother me that they are asking, it only bothers me of they hassle me about telling them. Then i'll txt them back, "Hey, this is Jessica Alba (insert hot model name here), Charm is tied up at the moment" ---
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Buck Rogers
Don Juan
Also you are not obligated to text her back, just pretend your busy, and unless you want a full scale argument on your hands i would suggest not saying anything to her about it.
Plus if you didnt get these texts you would think she doesnt care.
Themanthatcan
Senior Don Juan
Refer to Mystery's "Cat String Theory".
She's definatly chasing you.
Keep it mysterious.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.