You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You're saying that you have no idea whether or not the girl you're dating trusts you?!!?inzone50 said:My gf txt me everyday and ask how my day went and what my plans are when we i'm not with her.
does she miss me or does she not trust me?
how do i handle this situation?
Since she trusts you you may consider telling her that it feels like she doesn't trust you and that you aren't sure if that's her intention. Find out why she's doing it and it will give you a bit more insight into her and your relationship.inzone50 said:she does.
its that its kinda annoying that she asking every single move i make.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Alright, that makes sense. Is there something that you can do to take control of the situation and redirect her from bugging you by texting all of the time?inzone50 said:i think she just misses me. makes her feel more close.
Enough or too much?inzone50 said:i don't know. its not like i can tell her nothing come over. because i spend enough time with her already....
Just for sh1tz n' giggles, why not offer that information straight away and see where the conversation goes? Also, it's not as if you have to answer every one of her calls. You could be busy doing "nothing" y'know.inzone50 said:i redirect the subject sometimes... but still everyday she asks, so how was your day? or what are you doing/did today, what are your plans for tonight. no matter what we talk about it she throws that question in.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
no she is my gf. why small talk?penkitten said:she is probably trying to make small talk too
because if there were no small talk at all, she would feel less significant than your girlfriend.inzone50 said:no she is my gf. why small talk?
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
On Point said:It's nice that she cares and everything but it sounds like she doesn't have much of a life of her own. You should talk to her about it and set some boundaries as far as how much time you want to spend together. Her behavior probably isn't healthy for her either, she needs to work on *her* inner game, lol.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.