You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I was thinking something along the day at a spa and massage as well. I get to have a good time while also spending time with her.Between_The_Lines said:Girls love surprises, but girls tend to be picky too, so I tend to avoid material things and instead opt for taking her somewhere, day at a spa, massage, wine and dine.
See if you can add your own special touch to it too. I don't know where you live, but by that I mean something like grab a nice bottle of wine, maybe some cheese, and watch the sun go down together at the beach, something like that.El Payaso said:I was thinking something along the day at a spa and massage as well. I get to have a good time while also spending time with her.
Happy ending included?El Payaso said:I was thinking something along the day at a spa and massage as well. I get to have a good time while also spending time with her.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Very interesting. We're in our early 20's.MOTU said:OP, how old are you and gf? Generally, chicks dig creative, personal gifts. I am 44 and for my gf's 40th I got her a gumball machine filled with little chapsticks because she is a Chapstick fiend, like puts it on every 30mins (keeps her lips nice and soft for my c0ck).
She is s huge Tom Petty fan. For Christmas I got her a bracelet made from Tom Petty's guitar strings, where 100% of the revenue went to an animal rescue fund, which is perfect because she is a dog lover.
Neither was overly expensive for a man of my income, but both made her giddy for weeks.
Yes, it takes thought, but it's far better than some expensive tripe.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I agree with this. Never go buy "nice and expensive" unless you are married and have kids together. And don't be sh!tty either. Either get something she'll remember or get nothing. A half @ssed fail (like cheap jewelry, sweater off the clearance rack) doesn't help and may indeed hurt. A funny card or a pic of the two of you is fine if you really don't have the time or money for something else.mangotot said:Whatever you do don't spend too much money on the gift.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.