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What am I doing wrong here?

ThisIsSparta

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We were communicating poorly due to exams, she texts me once in a while .
She was gone at that point.

As i read it, you didnt escalate after your initial date and let the weeks pass before making your next half-hearted move.

"Due to exams" is just a lame excuse. If there was interest, there would have been a couple hours time for a date.

You simply dropped the ball and took your time picking it up again, by that time the game was over.
 

Mauser96

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Here is your plan.

This very well could be a schittt test, to see how you will react.

Don't contact her again, but don't delete the number.

Just remain silent and do nothing more.

If she reaches out to you, set a date. The fact that you didn't chase, simply said "Ok" and moved on, tells her you are a man with options. When/if she reaches out, she may be a little nervous you are moving on, and this is great for you.

Silence is your friend, and her imagination is your friend.

If she doesn't reach out in two weeks, THEN delete the number.
 

Barrister

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I don’t think there is much you really did “wrong” per se. Striking out is just part of the game sometimes unfortunately. I agree with others the timing with exams probably was not the best since that made free time much more limited. When you return from break I would hit her up again and see if any interest remains. In meantime don’t focus on her and see other women.
 

SargeMaximus

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Not very.

try it. women still want courting within reason. Most modern women are 100% neurotic.

one wrong move and their ASD will come up. presuming your a player.

Dont believe their pulling theyre pants down for Alphas, theyre not.

I have about 5 women who will pull their pants down for me instantly, they radiate back to me when they split from a chap about once a year.. However its only because I've known them for years.
Maybe for you, but he asked me. And it works often enough for me to have multiple fwbs.
 

RangerMIke

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If a chick flakes you are done.

If a chick doesn't respond to you when you try to reach out, you are done.

Everyone is busy if they have a quality and disciplined life, people who really like you will find time to spend with you.

The only thing you are doing wrong here is that you seem to care too much about this one chick that is sending you obvious signs that she isn't that interested. DO NOT operate in a dilutional state that any ACTION on your part can get her to be interested. All you can do is try to spend time with her and see what she does with that, if she meets you at least half-way, then you have something to work with... otherwise, just go find another chick.
 

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oldmanofthesea

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100% ^^^

It's far more simple than all the people who are saying "here's what to do" in this thread are making it out to be. Not showing up for the date at the time agreed upon, not telling you she wasn't going to make it, and later telling you she was "far away" is absolute rubbish and disrespectful. That's called "being stood up." There is no excuse for that period and NO girl who does that should be given a second chance. You operated exactly as I would here only I wouldn't have even replied "ok". She would have never heard from me again. It's ok for you to get angry about it - we are all human, but if you do, keep it under control and don't let her see it... and I feel you did a great job of that. So honestly you did a great job here all around.

And I can't stress enough RangerMike's point about action. You are asking what you did wrong as if you could have done something differently to make it work. You have to stop focusing on that so much like it's your fault. I see nothing wrong with what you did here. This girl is probably going to try to feed you just enough bread crumbs to make you think she might be interested so you keep orbiting her. Don't take the bait. Her standing you up is the END. She gets 0 from you. Move on and focus on other women.
 

Glassguy

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OP-Highly interested women will make time to see you. In fact, they will rearrange their schedule to see you.

Does this sound like a highly interested woman? No.

Stop reaching out. She has your number.
 

Hank Moody

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OP-Highly interested women will make time to see you. In fact, they will rearrange their schedule to see you.
Facts.

The last girl I dated who had off-the-charts level interest... I called her one day, and she was getting packed to go to another city with a girlfriend for a weekend. Her friend was on the way from this town, 2 hours away, to pick her up. At one point during the convo, she says, "Do you want me to come over?"

I said, "Well, your friend is on the way to get you."

She goes, "Well, I can call her and tell her to turn around and go back."

I'm not saying this to pat myself on the back, so much as I'm saying that it's rare to find a girl with interest THAT high. I'm almost 37. It's happened ONE time.
 

Dam44

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Make her invest in you. Allow her to plan something this time around. Her not showing up to a priorly agreed time is a sign of disrespect and that is huge to me. I usually move on, unless again, she invests time and resources into me.

Cut contact and do your thing for now until she reaches back out. If she doesn't, well there you have it.


Modern Man Advice
Plus, there was no reasonable excuse. Thank you, she has to reach out now
Agree.

This more so than low interest IMO. The fact that she didn't have the respect to let you know earlier that she couldn't make it and left you hanging is a big thing. I say big because if you give her one inch with getting away with disrespect, she'll use you as a door mat and take a foot eventually. She'll keep testing little by little to see what she can get away with.

If she had a solid excuse, is one thing but sounds like that's not the case here.

I've had girls that were wishy washy with low-medium interest before but they still respected me enough to tell me in advance that they couldn't make it, allowing me time to make other plans with someone else. That's the difference between low interest and disrespect.
Thank you. I really felt bad, she wasted my time
 

Dam44

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Why are you still trying to make something work with a woman who clearly has no respect for you because she sees you have no respect for yourself?

Delete this woman's number and don't talk to her again. If she reaches out be polite but the only date you are going on is one that happens at your house.
How did you infer this cos I'm sure I never acted like that
 

Dam44

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OP-Highly interested women will make time to see you. In fact, they will rearrange their schedule to see you.

Does this sound like a highly interested woman? No.

Stop reaching out. She has your number.
True! She can reach out if she wants to
 

Dam44

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Here is your plan.

This very well could be a schittt test, to see how you will react.

Don't contact her again, but don't delete the number.

Just remain silent and do nothing more.

If she reaches out to you, set a date. The fact that you didn't chase, simply said "Ok" and moved on, tells her you are a man with options. When/if she reaches out, she may be a little nervous you are moving on, and this is great for you.

Silence is your friend, and her imagination is your friend.

If she doesn't reach out in two weeks, THEN delete the number.
Makes sense, thank you
 

Glassguy

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True! She can reach out if she wants to
Live and learn. Just dont continue making the same mistakes over and over with chicks and you'll be fine. They all truly act the same way to different things. Learn what works for you and make it happen.
 

BackInTheGame78

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How did you infer this cos I'm sure I never acted like that
Sure you did. She dissed you and didn't even bother showing up and you are still trying to get her out...

Why? In her eyes you have no respect for yourself so she won't either.
 
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Dam44

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I don’t think there is much you really did “wrong” per se. Striking out is just part of the game sometimes unfortunately. I agree with others the timing with exams probably was not the best since that made free time much more limited. When you return from break I would hit her up again and see if any interest remains. In meantime don’t focus on her and see other women.
Thank you
If a chick flakes you are done.

If a chick doesn't respond to you when you try to reach out, you are done.

Everyone is busy if they have a quality and disciplined life, people who really like you will find time to spend with you.

The only thing you are doing wrong here is that you seem to care too much about this one chick that is sending you obvious signs that she isn't that interested. DO NOT operate in a dilutional state that any ACTION on your part can get her to be interested. All you can do is try to spend time with her and see what she does with that, if she meets you at least half-way, then you have something to work with... otherwise, just go find another chick.
Thank you. I think she was. When we first met and our date, she was smiling a lot and was talking a lot and responding enthusiastically.

But I get your point, I'm acting like it all depends on me which is wrong. I'll make sure I update everyone with what happens eventually

100% ^^^

It's far more simple than all the people who are saying "here's what to do" in this thread are making it out to be. Not showing up for the date at the time agreed upon, not telling you she wasn't going to make it, and later telling you she was "far away" is absolute rubbish and disrespectful. That's called "being stood up." There is no excuse for that period and NO girl who does that should be given a second chance. You operated exactly as I would here only I wouldn't have even replied "ok". She would have never heard from me again. It's ok for you to get angry about it - we are all human, but if you do, keep it under control and don't let her see it... and I feel you did a great job of that. So honestly you did a great job here all around.

And I can't stress enough RangerMike's point about action. You are asking what you did wrong as if you could have done something differently to make it work. You have to stop focusing on that so much like it's your fault. I see nothing wrong with what you did here. This girl is probably going to try to feed you just enough bread crumbs to make you think she might be interested so you keep orbiting her. Don't take the bait. Her standing you up is the END. She gets 0 from you. Move on and focus on other women.
Thanks, it's now funny to me that I'm putting all the blame on myself.

About the breadcrumbs, I remember another girl I met on campus weeks later, I got her number and I texted her, she replies my intro text and doesn't reply the next, I let it go and never texted her again. A month later, she sent a voice note apologising, she was busy with exams and hasn't really been active on WhatsApp lol.(an obvious and terrible lie)

I tell my friends, one says to leave her unread. Another one says to reply her and give her the benefit of doubt. I reply ignoring the fact she didn't reply my message, well its been days now and she hasn't replied. Anyways, I'm never replying her again. I don't know why they do such funny ****t. Why send a voicenote after a month if you're aren't going to reply
 

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Dam44

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Sure you did. She dissed you and didn't even bother showing up and you are still trying to get her out...

Why? In her eyes you have no respect for yourself so she won't either.
Hmm, I get your point but she doesn't know that yet
 

Lookatu

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It's natural to feel bad in the moment but you are empowered, learning, growing by being on forums like this.

You can only control yourself. Try not to worry about what happens outside of your control. You continue being the best you can be and if other's can't see that. Oh well. Their loss. Don't ever feel you did something wrong.

Live and Learn. This is the SS way... :up:

However, some people don't learn from their mistakes and these are the people I have no empathy for.
 

Glassguy

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In her eyes you have no respect for yourself so she won't either.
Some people need to read this 400k times until it sinks in.

This is why men should have high standards when it comes to their time, money and attention they spend on women. If a woman isnt putting in as much or more effort as you are to meet up, you should eject. And you dont owe her any explanation for disappearing.
 

Clamslammer

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So I was studying in a lecture theatre at night some weeks to my exams and this girl was there. I waited till it was obvious she was tired of reading before I approached her. She seemed so into me and we had a good conversation. I got her number.

We went on a date a few weeks later(delayed by exams), had a good time. She said she wanted drinks only and refused the food.

We were communicating poorly due to exams, she texts me once in a while . I tried to see her during her tests but it didn't work out. She had tests but she counter offered

Then I got busy with my exams, when I was done, she still had exams.

After she finished her exams, she texted me about her birthday a day before saying she didn't know how to celebrate it and that she was out of ideas. I get she probably wanted me to ask her out but I didn't because I was going out with friends and we already paid for it.

I ask her to meet the next week and we agreed to see on a Sunday evening. I got there and she doesn't show up. I shoot her a text on WhatsApp "hey, are you still coming". She was offline and I left anyways.(I don't know if this is connected to her birthday) Later that night, she says she was far away from our venue at that time and that she should have told me earlier.

I read her text and got pissed off by it and I reply her with "OK"
Holidays came and I left school on the next Saturday without seeing her. I didn't bother to contact her

Do you think I over reacted? I like this girl and how we get along, we won't see physically till a month or a month and a half.

What am I doing wrong here, how do I step it up. Should I keep texting once in a while or start calling her till we can meet again

PS: We are on different campuses. I'm a medic, she's in arts. This, the exams plus COVID19 made meeting up complicated
You seem young so you are still learning. First, good job in walking up to her and asking her out, most guys cannot even do that so kudos.

Things to keep in mind in the initial phases of dating:
- respect: she should respect you and your time all the time otherwise she is gone
- be willing to walk away: always be willing to walk away if she isnt on your program
- indifference: be indifferent to her, you are glad to go on a date, also you are glad to not go on a date with her.
- keep your emotions in check: always remain centered when dealing with people especially girls.

Your job on a date is to weed out low value women because as a man you have high value. If you don't have value work on yourself physically, mentally, and financially.

Whenever a guy goes on a date and the girl starts acting up he always questions himself like you did: what did I do wrong?

Here is the answer, you did nothing wrong to cause her to not show up on the date from what you told us. You did your job by asking her on a date and having fun on a date. You proceeded to ask her out again in which she did not show or even contact you prior to cancel. She is likely a narcissistic low value women that you do not want anyways and she disqualified herself from being in your life. When she responded in the evening I would not have even replied with an OK because how disrespectful she was.

Let some other loser deal with her and go find yourself a winner.
 
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Dam44

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You seem young so you are still learning. First, good job in walking up to her and asking her out, most guys cannot even do that so kudos.

Things to keep in mind in the initial phases of dating:
- respect: she should respect you and your time all the time otherwise she is gone
- be willing to walk away: always be willing to walk away if she isnt on your program
- indifference: be indifferent to her, you are glad to go on a date, also you are glad to not go on a date with her.
- keep your emotions in check: always remain centered when dealing with people especially girls.

Your job on a date is to weed out low value women because as a man you have high value. If you don't have value work on yourself physically, mentally, and financially.

Whenever a guy goes on a date and the girl starts acting up he always questions himself like you did: what did I do wrong?

Here is the answer, you did nothing wrong to cause her to not show up on the date from what you told us. You did your job by asking her on a date and having fun on a date. You proceeded to ask her out again in which she did not show or even contact you prior to cancel. She is likely a narcissistic low value women that you do not want anyways and she disqualified herself from being in your life. When she responded in the evening I would not have even replied with an OK because how disrespectful she was.

Let some other loser deal with her and go find yourself a winner.
I am quite young.
Thank you, I'll keep these in mind
 
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