What advice at sosuave do you find bull sh!t?

[SamTheHobit]

Sometimes I think the bad advice outweighs the good advice? Or am I just ignorant?

 

[HalfAddict]

Anything that relies on the term alpha is bull**** advice.

 

[The Gambler]

Sometimes I think the bad advice outweighs the good advice? Or am I just ignorant?

Dude, stop being such a wuss beta who cares what other dudes think. If you aren't man enough to grab your pair and take responsibility for your own actions, then you deserve the nothing you're gonna get.


So, how was that for good advice? I agree with you FULLY and was just thinking the same thing myself... These little two-sentence answers telling you to man-up and go no-contact if she looks at you the wrong way is not helpful, and borders on relationship sabotage. Cookie-cutter advice is often dished out, regardless of whether you've known this girl five minutes or five years....

On the bright side, it is pretty easy to identify who gives the good advice around here. Thankfully there are several.

The Gambler

 

[Fly By Night]

"She did not reply to your text within 5 minutes!? NEXT!"

I think NC goes around too much. If she hardly has any rapport with you, you are not going to get a returning text.

 

[Scars]

The fact that a lot of men here act like woman are a fvcking a math equation.

I think it's okay to break the rules sometimes, none of us are psychic. Your outcome could be totally different than somebody else. I truly believe it's far better to learn from experience. You can take someones advice, that's great. But the experience is what truly develops who you are.

I guess my biggest quarrel with "game" right now is that too many people lose sight of who they are. Don't take it to seriously, and use the advice given as a helping guide. Not an end-all-be-all.

-Scars

 

[Aristippus]

I think the "Jerk vs. Nice Guy" debate is pointless. It's simply the lack of expressing sexuality and engaging in behaviors that annoy women that turn them off. I knew a "jerk" who simply expressed his sexuality and he would get tons of women. Oh, but he also took tons of disrespect from the women he slept with. He'd let them be rude, mean, and disrespectful.

He sacrificed his self-respect so he could have sex. He'd jump from one woman to another. So of course, they would call him a "jerk". But as far taking crap, he wouldn't stand up for himself. I'm just saying sometimes it's just simply a matter of being a sexual guy and moving things forward.

Other bad advice.... holding long-term relationships to the same no-hassle standards of a no-strings attached fling. Expecting that a woman will behave the same in both situations. The more involved you are with a woman, the higher potential for drama. If you're used to no-strings, you'll have a major learning curve when you enter a long-term relationship.

 

[SamTheHobit]

relationship sabotage

So much of the advice here is bred from insecurity.. "She's talking to another guy".. Next, she's losing interest, if she was really that into you she wouldn't risk talking to other guys..

It's pretty sad state of affairs.

 

[omega05]

So then why even have this website if half the advice is BS?

 

[In10se]

Yeah I mean something else to consider is that some of the advice is regurgitated from people who don't know how to apply it properly...talking to other guys is fine as long as its not in a flirtatious manner....if you get good at picking up flirtatious cues then you can blatantly see when your girl is flirting with other dudes...that sh!t should not fly with any man and warrants a confrontation

 

[Aristippus]

Omega,

You have to take what works for you personally. Also, I think people that come here need to read the DJ Bible and the tips section. If a particular person or a few people have ideas that you like, you can use those ideas as a map to follow too.

I'm not saying I agree with everything in the DJ Bible. Some of it I do, some of it I don't. But if you need some kind of an organized structure of thought and plan of action to follow, you have to have something structured to go by. I think the biggest source of bad advice would be the reason In10se gave. Good advice being misapplied. Or someone who is clueless throwing in his 2-cents.

 

[JohnChops]

The fact that a lot of men here act like woman are a fvcking a math equation.

I think it's okay to break the rules sometimes, none of us are psychic. Your outcome could be totally different than somebody else. I truly believe it's far better to learn from experience. You can take someones advice, that's great. But the experience is what truly develops who you are.

I guess my biggest quarrel with "game" right now is that too many people lose sight of who they are. Don't take it to seriously, and use the advice given as a helping guide. Not an end-all-be-all.

-Scars

As pook once said, drop the manuel because you dont need it in your life. Experience is the best teacher and sometimes the rules must be broken depending on the situation.

What I think is not needed is all these threads about texting back, what she thinks, etc . If your trying so hard to figure out what she thinks of you then wheres the fun and adventure in that? Women are so indecisive that her mood towards you could change in an instant. Going by a rule book is the worst way to go and thinking about what she thinks of you leads to stupid (not learning) experiences and overthinking .

Wana know the best advice? Relax, focus on YOURSELF, and push forward. Anything else is an unneeded add-on that could help or hurt you.

 

[Solomon]

Anything that relies on the term alpha is bull**** advice.

Repped!

 

[Zerro]

That every week we get a new thread about how texting is the devil. Join the 21st century already.

 

[Droz88]

Wow, great thread and great input by everyone.

It seems to me that to be successfull with women and in life you only need to master a few fundamentals: confidence, taking care of your appearance, not being afraid to be sexual, living a rich life outside of women, and having self respect. If you have those things, then I'd imagine that you can work through any problem that comes up with women without this forum. Similarly, most of the problems posted here would probably never happen to you if you have those traits. Like others have said though, experience is a good teacher. You need to interact with women because it'll help you spot patterns ie: if she is flaky then she's not into you, spotting a shyt test, etc.

I think this forum is a goldmine but once you get the core rules and lessons you'd probably be best off learning to figure out solutions for yourself.

 

[Droz88]

Spin plates, it works but it also happened to be a time -honored hpd/npd/bpd strategy to avoid emotional attachment...i.e. Psychopathic behavior.

Funny I was just think to myself this morning that I'm not really comfortable spinning plates. After my experience last week approaching, getting numbers, dating, I feel a lot more comfortable finding a nice girl to be my girlfriend and only having her until/if the relationship ends. When it does end, you can spin plates until you find another one that is good gf material. But to constantly be spinning plates I find it unnatural... however I'm sure there is a thread out there about overcoming this thought.

 

[Falcon]

This thread is actually really good timing...

The biggest thing for me was the complete lack of empathy a lot of posters had. I'm not trying to paint a broad stroke here on everyone, but more like the vocal majority that existed and the advice they gave. It was enough to make me leave this site for years. I always knew something was off with the advice but I couldn't put it as elegantly in words as to what. All I knew at the time was that it went against my deep core principles and actually worsened my results with women, so I had to reject it completely. Very recently, I read a thread on another forum that put those words in a way that really resonated with my own opinion. In order to not take credit from the well written posts, hopefully this forum allows me to link to it:

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/240116/forum

The first post by Buddhagames is very good and should be read, but it was followed by this well written one too:

Awesome Post BG

Developing empathy and learning how to socially vibe are the very first things a newbie should address.

Forget about escalation, frame control, and physicality.

If you're so trapped inside your head that you can't discern the emotions of others, or hold a conversation, you need to address those issues first.


Social IQ: How People Can Tell If You're "Normal"

Being able to vibe and express empathy are the qualities that sub-communicate to others that you're "Normal". These are the absolute basics of social intelligence.


Fun Little Quiz: How To Figure Out If You're "Normal" Or NOT

The next time you approach a girl, go into your body and feel the emotions inside.

If you feel relaxed and fulfilled in the presence of others, you're normal.

If you feel an outflow of positive energy when you speak, you're normal.

If you don't give a **** whether you're more alpha or dominant in the interaction, you're normal.

If you can look somebody in the eye and genuinely listen to them without feeling the urge to interrupt, you're normal.

If you enjoy chatting with people in general, whether that be the hot chick, or the old grandma, you're normal.


If you feel defensive when talking to others, you're ****ing weird.

If you constantly interrupt people because you're trapped inside your head, you're ****ing weird.

If you can't listen to somebody because you're thinking of the next thing to say, you're ****ing weird.

If you always feel the need to correct somebody, or make your point, you're ****ing weird.

If you find yourself judging, or rationalizing why you're cooler than somebody, you're ****ing weird.

If socializing in general doesn't pump your state, you're ****ing weird.


What Being "Normal" Really Means

What makes you "Normal" has nothing to do with fitting in, or allowing the environment to dictate your behavior.

Being "Normal" means that you have the empathy necessary to recognize how others are feeling, and the ability to project and share positive emotions.

Before you can be charismatic and dominant, you need to learn how to be "Normal".

 

[MM92]

I only skim through here, taking note mainly of those that I already know it would be worth reading what they put. Pimpsicle(?) for example. As soon as you work out who are the trolls, who is clueless and who knows what they're talking about the vast majority of what you read on here will be spot on

 

[Purefilth]

I only skim through here, taking note mainly of those that I already know it would be worth reading what they put. Pimpsicle(?) for example. As soon as you work out who are the trolls, who is clueless and who knows what they're talking about the vast majority of what you read on here will be spot on

Yup
Nice guys all used to be jerks and jerks used to be nice guys...
What sort of stood ideas are these. Why dies anyone care about these people?
Worry about yourselves, not how you perceive others.

 

[Voice]

The fact that a lot of people here give advice with absolutely no life experience to back it up. If you are going to give advice, pull your theories from real life examples, not pick up e-books.

Also I agree with zerro with the negative attitude towards texting and even facebook getting a bad wrap. There's NOTHING wrong with facebook or texting.

And of course the #1 advice given here is at a girls first strike "dump her bro, no contact, it's over". This advice speaks wonders about you in that you really have very little life experience with girls.

 

[Zerro]

Funny I was just think to myself this morning that I'm not really comfortable spinning plates. After my experience last week approaching, getting numbers, dating, I feel a lot more comfortable finding a nice girl to be my girlfriend and only having her until/if the relationship ends. When it does end, you can spin plates until you find another one that is good gf material. But to constantly be spinning plates I find it unnatural... however I'm sure there is a thread out there about overcoming this thought.

I was never good at "spinning plates" either, it tended to feel like more work than it was worth. I had better results when I picked a girl who appeared to have the most interest and focused on her. That was my goal anyway, a lot of guys here forget that not everyone comes here wanting to just bed as many women as possible (that's what PUA forums are for IMO). I believe that for every guy here asking how to avoid relationships and trying to build a harem of FWBs there's a guy who's wondering how to get a relationship going with just one woman. Some prefer quantity, others quality.