"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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What’s the best response to this?

AriMamba

Don Juan
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Girls asked me if i think she is ugly because I didn’t validate the pic she sent.

Me: I never said that. You got more pictures of you?

Her: You making it seem like is ugly
*sends pic in a bikini*
Me: no response yet.

I think is a trap....
Old me would have probably told her something very AFC. But now I actually don’t know. She does look good to me though.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
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Tell her she looks “not bad“ or “You look fine” as if she’s acceptable to you but nothing special.

The hotter the girl, the more important it is to be ambivalent about her looks. My girl is drop-dead gorgeous, and I almost never say a word about her looks. All I’ll say is “you look nice” if she is wearing something I like.

I’ve floated a “pretty” comment past her in the past in order to experiment, and she responded in a very “ho hum” manner. The prettier they are, the more they know it and the less effective comments about looks are. In my relationship, I sometimes joke “After all, I’m the cute one in the relationship” and she loves that.

In your case, she is insecure about her looks big-time, so an overall unimpressed attitude about her looks mixed in with an occasional and rare compliment would be in order. You’ve got to play each one by ear and calibrate. A 5 or 6 needs a little ego stroking from time to time. 7 on up needs very little, and excessive compliments about her looks are a negative in terms of her valuation of you.

I know I’m going off on tangents here as you are just in the beginning phases of communication with this girl, but I’m just in the mood to lay out my thoughts and tactics regarding compliments and lack thereof.

The answer to your specific question is in the first sentence of this post. The rest is just guidelines for any beginners who happen by here and can benefit from the thoughts of an older war horse.
 
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