You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
While Christianity can't be boiled down to a set of rules, you are right. OP needs to call her out hard for her fake religion too.backbreaker said:That is one thing I never understood about Christan
I was an atheist for years, but it wasn't because of lack of knowledge of the bible. I find it comical all the armchair Christans you see in church who don't know jack about the bible and god's word, pick and chose what they do and don't want to practice when it's convenient for them to do so, cherry picking out the bible.
I oblivious have a son out of wedlock, i'm not pro or anti sex before marriage per say, to each his own, but the difference I don't try to justify it with any bull**** like, it doesn't say it in the bible or, those laws are outdated, or something that will attempt to make me sleep at night. When i have premarital sex I know exactly what i am doing.
IF you a Christan god fearing person, as much as this forum doesn't want to hear it, you don't need to have sex before marriage. The bible clearly states, first Corinthians , versus 1 through 40ish that sex is to be saved for marriage. Many other places too but that's the main place in the bible that it's discussed. Clear as day.
So back to the OP... who hasn't had a laspe in judgement? I would never take a woman that says she wants to wait until she is married as losing intrest or being cynical. However, I would see if mjy values matched hers and if i was not willing to do that, wish her the best and move on.
God (if you are a Christian) does not give a damn about what is and is not practical, what is and is not hard, that has nothing to do with the word.
I bumped this, because this is something that is not really discussed, it's the elephant in the room. If you are a christian, this is something you really need to address. If you aren't you need to not waste a woman of deep religious faiths time or try to guilt her into doing something that she might regret. IF a woman is guilting you by using god as a reason to not have sex, i assure you she has bigger issues, than lack of interest.
It's not as clear as you stated... I've read it as well and it doesn't say: Sex should be saved for married. So it's a interpretation made by the people following Christianity, but that doesn't mean that it's the true meaning.juan95 said:IF you a Christan god fearing person, as much as this forum doesn't want to hear it, you don't need to have sex before marriage. The bible clearly states, first Corinthians , versus 1 through 40ish that sex is to be saved for marriage. Many other places too but that's the main place in the bible that it's discussed. Clear as day.
Backbreaker, I am duly impressed. I thought I was going to have to make the points you made but you covered it all masterfully.backbreaker said:IF you a Christan god fearing person, as much as this forum doesn't want to hear it, you don't need to have sex before marriage. The bible clearly states, first Corinthians , versus 1 through 40ish that sex is to be saved for marriage. Many other places too but that's the main place in the bible that it's discussed. Clear as day.
So back to the OP... who hasn't had a laspe in judgement? I would never take a woman that says she wants to wait until she is married as losing intrest or being cynical. However, I would see if mjy values matched hers and if i was not willing to do that, wish her the best and move on.
God (if you are a Christian) does not give a damn about what is and is not practical, what is and is not hard, that has nothing to do with the word.
I bumped this, because this is something that is not really discussed, it's the elephant in the room. If you are a christian, this is something you really need to address. If you aren't you need to not waste a woman of deep religious faiths time or try to guilt her into doing something that she might regret. IF a woman is guilting you by using god as a reason to not have sex, i assure you she has bigger issues, than lack of interest.
1 Corinthians 7:2 "But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband."badboyjmm said:It's not as clear as you stated... I've read it as well and it doesn't say: Sex should be saved for married. So it's a interpretation made by the people following Christianity, but that doesn't mean that it's the true meaning.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
You should have left at this point.she told me God would be angry if we did IT
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_uD4WSsIpwuM/SgilZkl3a4I/AAAAAAAABJs/X1c-4WH_RxQ/s400/A_Tip_of_the_Hat_by_jollyjack.jpgAtom Smasher said:Backbreaker, I am duly impressed. I thought I was going to have to make the points you made but you covered it all masterfully.
OP, she is struggling with her sexual desires vs. her faith. Let her go. It would only be destructive to both of you to try to manipulate her into sex.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.