Weird first date experience?

[Datinglife26]

Had a first date on Friday..

We went out, were having a good time, she was into our conversation, lots of eye contact, touching me, laughing etc I lead, we danced. She was pressing her body against me. Didn't mind my hands touching her body at all.

Got to the end of the date, I missed one bus so the next one is in an hour, I was just going to get food after she left and make my way home. But she suddenly got all cold and huffy that I missed my bus.

I tried to open her up but she gave this stank face look as if I was bothering her or some stranger she didnt just have a good date with.

I said tell me what's up, she said "you lost you leadership and missed your bus"

She was super shut down, now she isnt my gf so I was like well im not going to try to convince someone of something after they made that comment. So I said calmy with indifference she should go home, it was nice meeting.her.

Then I walked away from her, she got a taxi.

She text me an hour later saying "All good? Im home now"

I decided id reply in the morning, but she deleted that message. So I did nothing.

Day later I get another text saying "Hi, was there a misunderstanding because I felt you were upset? I had a good time anyway, just a bit confused what happened"

I eventually replied
"I had a good time too, but your attitude changed at the end, glad you enjoyed your night"

Haven't heard back.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you are taking buses you should be focused on other things instead of dating.

 

[Datinglife26]

If you are taking buses you should be focused on other things instead of dating.

Lol dude, who doesnt take public transport in Europe after a night out?

I dont drink and drive and uber is banned because taxi drivers want to charge big money.

5 euro vs 80 euro to get home..

I own my own business

 

[Gamisch]

And despite you owning your own bizz you do not own your dating life.

A first date is all about impression. Let's say that she is also aware that you'd rather spend 5 instead if 80 euro and she dried up because of that...?

She took a cab aka spent more than 5 to get home. And that's just touching the surface tbh. For all we know you messed up long before that during the actual date...

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Had a first date on Friday..

We went out, were having a good time, she was into our conversation, lots of eye contact, touching me, laughing etc I lead, we danced. She was pressing her body against me. Didn't mind my hands touching her body at all.

Got to the end of the date, I missed one bus so the next one is in an hour, I was just going to get food after she left and make my way home. But she suddenly got all cold and huffy that I missed my bus.

I tried to open her up but she gave this stank face look as if I was bothering her or some stranger she didnt just have a good date with.

I said tell me what's up, she said "you lost you leadership and missed your bus"

She was super shut down, now she isnt my gf so I was like well im not going to try to convince someone of something after they made that comment. So I said calmy with indifference she should go home, it was nice meeting.her.

Then I walked away from her, she got a taxi.

She text me an hour later saying "All good? Im home now"

I decided id reply in the morning, but she deleted that message. So I did nothing.

Day later I get another text saying "Hi, was there a misunderstanding because I felt you were upset? I had a good time anyway, just a bit confused what happened"

I eventually replied
"I had a good time too, but your attitude changed at the end, glad you enjoyed your night"

Haven't heard back.

Stop taking chicks out on dates of whom you just met.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

How well were you leading up until the missed bus? Should've kissed her and grabbed @ss on the dance floor, or at least tried. Sounds like there was no opportunity to extend the date, either. With chicks you don't know for sure are high interest, you have to knock the date out of the park. No kiss or sexual kino, no talk of a venue change, and then she finds out you can't even manage chump-tier transportation. This chick was lukewarm at best and moved on when you gave her a hard time over text.

 

[Rocky_Hendrix]

If you are taking buses you should be focused on other things instead of dating.

Bull****. you do not need too much money to f*ck chicks. if you think otherwise, congrats, you are beta who prepares himself for women aged 30. you are essentially playing long-term.

Stop taking chicks out on dates of whom you just met.

And do what? use messenger apps as a buffer? congrats, another beta who uses messengers as a buffer against rejection.

@Datinglife26 good job. I am serious. really. instead of chatting for hours you opted for real-life conv. I do not think it is about taxi tbh. you probably messed up somewhere. nevertheless, keep dating, and let betas **** themselves.

I am also from Europe and I know that Uber and Bolt are not available, and taxis are expensive there. still, i do not think it was about taxi/bus.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

You didn't screw anything up IMHO. She just had high expectations and was disappointed. Her contact later is laughable. You must have at least done something right if she tried to reach out. Either that, or whatever ya'll did on the date she wanted to experience again and was hoping you would ask her out again or that she could use you to do something similar.

My reply to any woman making a snide remark akin to "You lost your leadership" would be "No; you just don't want to follow my lead." I mean, think about it. If someone is a leader or your superior, are you going to tell them that they lost their leadership? Why or why not? If someone has earned your respect and you acknowledge them as a leader, even if you have a irreconcilable disagreement, you'd likely just cut ties and go away. "You lost your leadership." hahaha. That was a sh1te test for sure.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Some women expect the man to plan the “perfect” date. Since you missed the bus, maybe it just wasn’t perfect anymore, and she got disappointed. That’s really all I can think of.

 

[Solomon]

This is dating in 2026, a woman who has mid interest looking for any reason to disqualify a man
If she was truly interested this wouldn't be an issue
You dodged a bullet

 

[The Duke]

A woman that is super into you doesn't act hot and cold. She also doesn't make comments about a man's leadership unless she wants to disqualify you.

I'm guessing you missing the bus tripped up her insecurities.

This one wasn't one worth having anyways. Be glad you figured it out so quickly.

 

[Dash Riprock]

This is dating in 2026, a woman who has mid interest looking for any reason to disqualify a man
If she was truly interested this wouldn't be an issue
You dodged a bullet

This.


She got all p*ssed off and called you a non-leader because your missed your bus? WTF? Maybe you missed it because you were having a good time with her and wanted to ensure she safely got a cab or bus. The world isn't going to end, you'll just take the next bus as you mentioned. This girl sounds like a real c*nt.


Imagine if you married this girl and something bad really happened like illness or job loss. She’d be gone in a second, or worse, stay and torture you with nit picking and put-downs.


I'd seriously move on.


Good luck.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Coming from abroad the whole public transportation thing was very weird for me here in Europe.

But as far as Europe goes, bus, metro and trams are very common on the dating scene, and people do get around with them. I’d say that taking the tram in Amsterdam it is even part of the date.

Either way, I’ve went to a date with a chick the other day, and she didn’t climbed on my vintage Vespa, and the date went stale after that.
On the other hand, all the other chicks love it.

Bottomline.
Transport is very chick depending.
I would always eer in the side of having one tho.

Anywho, OP did right by setting his boundaries. You don’t reward bad behavior!

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

And do what? use messenger apps as a buffer? congrats, another beta who uses messengers as a buffer against rejection.

Easy there, cupcake.

I don't use messenger apps.

Been there, done that.

But, taking a woman on a date so she can "get to know you" first, is beta.

 

[zekko]

Got to the end of the date, I missed one bus so the next one is in an hour, I was just going to get food after she left and make my way home. But she suddenly got all cold and huffy that I missed my bus.

When I read this, I wondered if maybe she was irritated that you had this extra hour to spend and decided to spend it on your own instead of with her? Maybe she was hungry too.

OR, maybe she was done for the night and was ready for the date to be over, and your missing the bus didn't provide the clean ending she wanted, and she got irritated? In any case, the bickering texts afterward don't seem to have helped.

 

[Datinglife26]

How well were you leading up until the missed bus? Should've kissed her and grabbed @ss on the dance floor, or at least tried. Sounds like there was no opportunity to extend the date, either. With chicks you don't know for sure are high interest, you have to knock the date out of the park. No kiss or sexual kino, no talk of a venue change, and then she finds out you can't even manage chump-tier transportation. This chick was lukewarm at best and moved on when you gave her a hard time over text.

I was leading pretty good, we started at a ****tail bar, i lead the direction after that, told her i wanted to go dance, she got all excites, I was grabbing her ass when we were dancing. She was pulling me into her close and grinding her ass off my crotch pretty ****ing hard. Id go to kiss but she didnt want to in a crowded bar (i didnt get butthurt, some girls dont)

She was holding the bar at one point and I made a joke about it, she said I can hold the bar or I can hold you, I grabbed her hand and put it around my neck, she laughed and then pressed her head against my chest...

Is it giving someone a hard time when they pretend they didnt know why you walked away? Or is it just not being afraid to say it like it is.

Whatever, my ex couldn't take accountability for her attitude I dont need that again.

If roles were reverse and I had been the one to get all weird, and the text her, id probably take owner ship when she pointed out she had fun but left because I acted rude at the end.

 

[Datinglife26]

And to the people confused about public transport in Europe...totally normal here, I drive obviously but not when drinking. Americans are so obsessed with image lol

Ive been to your country, our transport isnt just for broke people like it is over there.

She lived in the city so taxi for her, I live outside the city limit where taxis dont take you at this time because they make more money operating short trips after the bars close.

Anyway, yeah I probably let the date run too long but I was having fun. Oh well, lesson learned at least I found out her attitude isnt easy when things get slightly off plan.

Won't waste more money on more dates to find out

 

[BillyPilgrim]

And to the people confused about public transport in Europe...totally normal here, I drive obviously but not when drinking. Americans are so obsessed with image lol

Ive been to your country, our transport isnt just for broke people like it is over there.

She lived in the city so taxi for her, I live outside the city limit where taxis dont take you at this time because they make more money operating short trips after the bars close.

Anyway, yeah I probably let the date run too long but I was having fun. Oh well, lesson learned at least I found out her attitude isnt easy when things get slightly off plan.

Won't waste more money on more dates to find out

If sex isn't an option that night, always try to cut the date a little short and leave the girl wanting more.

 

[Datinglife26]

If sex isn't an option that night, always try to cut the date a little short and leave the girl wanting more.

Yeah i knew it too, I was leaving, but lost my frame because I prioritised having a good time. ****ing stupid lmao

I never stayed long on dates before. After my 3.5 year relationship ended last summer I guess ive lost my edge and need to end dates sooner to keep them guessing.

Either way, saw how she acted when things didnt go as expect and on a first date she showed a bad side. So thats a bonus.

Part of me wants it fixed just because I know I screwed up not because I think a girl with that response is worth my time

 

[Datinglife26]

You didn't screw anything up IMHO. She just had high expectations and was disappointed. Her contact later is laughable. You must have at least done something right if she tried to reach out. Either that, or whatever ya'll did on the date she wanted to experience again and was hoping you would ask her out again or that she could use you to do something similar.

My reply to any woman making a snide remark akin to "You lost your leadership" would be "No; you just don't want to follow my lead." I mean, think about it. If someone is a leader or your superior, are you going to tell them that they lost their leadership? Why or why not? If someone has earned your respect and you acknowledge them as a leader, even if you have a irreconcilable disagreement, you'd likely just cut ties and go away. "You lost your leadership." hahaha. That was a sh1te test for sure.

Replying to Bold part:

Yeah, well the contact then delete and contact again is because I was following Casey Zanders frame. I wasnt actually going to reach out to her again or reply until she sent her second message.

And yeah, despite what people say in these threads while jumping to conclusion, I can run a pretty good date experience for women that makes them feel like they are in a movie. Most of my dates are successful and cause women to want more.

I follow a format, 2/3 venues. Change of pace in each, escalate kino 2 steps forward 1 back, lets me judge her in every scenario and around other people. It also puts me as the leader. I make sure to listen, ask questions, get them laughing. Thats the good side of my game.

My down fall is I get wrapped up in the fun of my own dates and sometimes run them too long until they go sidewards (clearly by this post) lose control of my making

Single 6 months after a break up, so getting back into dating. And it ****ing stings because this woman was the hottest girl ive ever gone on a date with. Maybe that added to my frame loss


Either way I bet most men dont walk away from her which is why she reached out + the date was good until the end