"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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weight lifting or martial arts

pyros

Master Don Juan
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I did martial arts for around 6 years. I really enjoyed it, everytime I had to go I was motivated, I spent time on my own training and practicing; besides, I learned about asian traditions, self defense, discipline, kindness, etc. I also made a few friends that last until today.
That was five years ago.

When I finished college and started to work I swiched martial arts with weight lifting because I wanted to look more muscular and it also fitted my schedule better (you can go anytime to the gym).

The thing is that I've been goin to the gym for several years now and I havent achieved the results I desired; besides, I find it boring as fvck.

So... I have this dilemma:
If I quit going to the gym and start martial arts again I will lose my athletic body (nothing amazing but people notice) but I will be happier, because I do enjoy martial arts but I do not enjoy weight lifting.
However, going to martial arts 3 times per week doesnt always fit my schedule, so I may just have to skip it once or twice a week depending on how many things I have to do that week, but going to the gym always fit my schedule.

I also think that I need to be strong in order to complete martial arts training, because if I learn self defense but I have little strength...it doesnt make much sense.

I cannot do both activities.

Thoughts?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Macaframalama

Master Don Juan
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I also think that I need to be strong in order to complete martial arts training, because if I learn self defense but I have little strength...it doesnt make much sense.
Self defense and martial arts doesn't have as much to do with strength as it does manipulating leverages. However, you can never be strong enough imo. When you say weightlifting, are you talking about Olympic lifting, the bodybuilding fluff stuff or have you ever even ran a proven strength program?
 

ubercat

Master Don Juan
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I think you ve preset your parameters. To lift at home u need a simple folding bench some dumbbells and a mat. Y can't u do both.

Self defense and martial arts r two different things. It sounds like u we're doing some gung ho karate. U don't need strength to:

parry a jab with a palm block and use its force to power an eye jab (wing chun)

Round kick the side of a knee ( muay Thai)

Parry and elbow smash their fist when they try a haymaker (Kali or Silat)

And if this sounds like some serious ****. U pull out when cornered in a dark alley by 3 guys damned straight. Anything else is u being a fool.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

Master Don Juan
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If you aren’t getting the results you want from weightlifting you are not doing it right. If it’s been several years then you likely never will do it right. Go back to martial arts even though it’s all BS in western countries.
 

Bible_Belt

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If it take strength to pull off, it's not a martial arts move. The point of the martial art is that it gives a man with less strength the knowledge to defeat a stronger man.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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