"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Wedding Vows for the 21st century

C

ColonelKilgore

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I, Groom, take you, entitled Bride in the white dress, the only star of this ceremony,
to be my lawfully wedded nagging wife,
knowing in my heart that you will be
my worst decision,
my unfaithful partner in life,
and my ultimate demise.
On this horrible day,
I give to you
in the presence of Satan and all those in attendance
my pledge to stay by your side as your dumb husband
in your unhappiness and in your drama,
in your tantrums and in your judgments, as well as
through the bad times and the worse.
I further promise to love you without reservation,
dedicate my whole life to pleasing you which I will ultimately fail,
provide for your needs and your needs only as best as I can,
protect you from harm because men cant get harmed, that's just a fact of life,
give you half my money if you decide to leave me at some point,
grow with you in mind and spirit, or whatever stupid sh.it you want to do,
always be open and honest with you,
and cherish you for as long as I shall live, because I will die first from all the fvckin work that I am going to have to do.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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El Payaso

El Payaso

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Lmfao. Wow.
 
VladPatton

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
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Now THAT was a good read! LOL Bravo.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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S

SmooveMooves

Master Don Juan
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This is pretty funny. Hope it comes from a joking tone, rather than a butthurt one.
 
logicallefty

logicallefty

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Haha OP good one.

My thoughts on marriage vows:

Man: "till death do us part"

Woman: "till death do us part or I find another man that tingles my vag better"
 
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