"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Wedding Vows for the 21st century

C

ColonelKilgore

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I, Groom, take you, entitled Bride in the white dress, the only star of this ceremony,
to be my lawfully wedded nagging wife,
knowing in my heart that you will be
my worst decision,
my unfaithful partner in life,
and my ultimate demise.
On this horrible day,
I give to you
in the presence of Satan and all those in attendance
my pledge to stay by your side as your dumb husband
in your unhappiness and in your drama,
in your tantrums and in your judgments, as well as
through the bad times and the worse.
I further promise to love you without reservation,
dedicate my whole life to pleasing you which I will ultimately fail,
provide for your needs and your needs only as best as I can,
protect you from harm because men cant get harmed, that's just a fact of life,
give you half my money if you decide to leave me at some point,
grow with you in mind and spirit, or whatever stupid sh.it you want to do,
always be open and honest with you,
and cherish you for as long as I shall live, because I will die first from all the fvckin work that I am going to have to do.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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El Payaso

El Payaso

Master Don Juan
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Lmfao. Wow.
 
VladPatton

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
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Now THAT was a good read! LOL Bravo.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

S

SmooveMooves

Master Don Juan
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This is pretty funny. Hope it comes from a joking tone, rather than a butthurt one.
 
logicallefty

logicallefty

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Haha OP good one.

My thoughts on marriage vows:

Man: "till death do us part"

Woman: "till death do us part or I find another man that tingles my vag better"
 
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