We are not doing a good job....

[NewMan]

To many posts about dating single mothers....

Time to step it up soldiers - get the message out there.

 

[Max Power]

I agree New Man.

There's too many posts about men dating single mothers and the problems that ensue. The answer to all these problems started in these threads is pretty simple:

DON'T DATE SINGLE MOMS (unless they're super hot and rich and can afford a live in nanny -- Pamela Anderson, for example)

There should be a sticky in this thread titled SINGLE MOM PROBLEMS and it should include Rollo's thread on cuckolds.

If you're dating a single mom, you're either an AFC or you're being directed by a sneaky inner AFC. No matter how fantastic the chick is, the thought of having to raise or spend time with some other dude's kid will always be in the back of your head.

I say you listen more to that voice than the Captain Save a Ho/ Do the Right thing voice.

 

[speed dawg]

Give it up, dude. I tried to give advice in the Discussion forum. It's not happening. So I don't even try any more. I come back here to keep myself sharp with the few and far between good posts around here by a select few posters.

 

[Warrior74]

LOL. some men will never date if that's the case. You should be teaching HOW to date single mothers if you really want to teach something. Or how 'play' or 'dj' single mothers. Dood. Do you know how many single mothers there are out there these days? Girls have kids before they hit 25 in a lot of places. In some areas single motherhood is the norm. So stop and look at the world view of others and minister to their needs instead of inposing your world view.

 

[speed dawg]

LOL. some men will never date if that's the case. You should be teaching HOW to date single mothers if you really want to teach something. Or how 'play' or 'dj' single mothers. Dood. Do you know how many single mothers there are out there these days? Girls have kids before they hit 25 in a lot of places. In some areas single motherhood is the norm. So stop and look at the world view of others and minister to their needs instead of inposing your world view.

Let the divorced guys with kids deal with the single mommies. A single mommy is nothing more than a cvm dumpster for a single guy.

I thought it was funny when Reggie Bush, minutes removed from winning the Heisman trophy, said in regards to his step-dad, while crying, "It takes a man to do what you did", referring to stepping in and raising him. No, it doesn't take a man, it takes a nice guy. Albeit a nice guy who just lucked into millions of dollars.

 

[Warrior74]

Let the divorced guys with kids deal with the single mommies. A single mommy is nothing more than a cvm dumpster for a single guy.

Then teach them that. but don't tell them to avoid single mothers all together. Teach them the real game. Both eyes open game.

 

[speed dawg]

Then teach them that. but don't tell them to avoid single mothers all together. Teach them the real game. Both eyes open game.

Yeah I can dig that. I myself used to date lots of single mommies with no emotional attachment. Problem is you have guys that fall in love with them.

 

[FM 3321]

I met a girl last week who is a single mother and although she was hot I couldn't think of a way to start some form of relationship with her without being involved with her kid somewhere down the line. The back of my mind says there is something selfish about that but at this point in my life I've been thinking about what's best for me and raising someone elses kid to fvck a hot girl seems like a losing situation.

If someone has been able to date a single mom without having to deal with her kid I'd love to read about it.

 

[KontrollerX]

Too many AFC's that come here have strong ego investments that tell them letting a chick walk all over them and set the agenda for how a relationship is going to go is totally fine.

These guys are loaded with scarcity mentality and absolutely have to hold on to the first girl that says yes to having sex with them or being their girlfriend because they believe getting a new girl is either too hard to accomplish or outright impossible so they will grit their teeth and ignore all their pain when the bad behavior from the chick starts up and justify staying in this bad situation to us with crap like "this is what a man does" or "I'm not a quitter at relationships like you guys" or "you are all a bunch of misogynists, putting up with bad behavior from women is normal, fixing relationships is normal, its the work of real men".

These morons are so indoctrinated with self destructive belief systems from society and watching Oprah and Dr. Phil I don't even know why they come here.

Its certainly not to change their life for the better or even consider adopting a new belief system from the knowledge contained here in the DJ Bible.

They'd rather make masturbation threads, looks threads, threads about celebrity bimbos that should immediately be locked and deleted here as this is not TMZ.com, or they make some stupid post about how all of this site's advice is garbage and it didn't work for them and they secured their new girlfriend by using none of this advice and instead being a supplicating wuss therefore supplicating wuss and societal indoctrination= right and we=wrong, these morons haven't done anything special as there are plenty of women out there that like to take on a boyfriend who lets her be the man in the relationship and have someone who is there to let out her inner control freak on. Some of these losers wake up to the horrible situation they've gotten themselves into 6 months down the line, come back here, apologize with the inevitable you guys were right post and then they do the work of becoming true DJ's having learned their lesson. The other AFC's cling to their control freak girlfriend until she gets rid of them and they know they can't generate any other options and she is their only source of pvssy so they'll put up with it. Inevitably control freak finds someone else and these AFC's are the guys you'll see back on the site talking about being here "years ago" but not really applying anything they read.

And on it goes.

Whoever said unplugging AFC's from the matrix is dirty business was right.

Those ego investments will make them attack you, the person that is trying to help them in an effort to hold onto their negative belief systems and world view so they don't have to feel any pain from realizing they were wrong all of this time. Its understandable because as an AFC you are so weak but it gets so very tiresome helping ungreatful people.

Fortunately not all AFC's who come here are ungreatful when good advice is given them but many are.

 

[Warrior74]

Kontroller...yah I can see brand new guys avoiding the single mother situation. I watched an AFC friend go thru it. He says he felt bad for the kids which is why he stuck around and put up with her crazy behavior, cheating and drug use. One day I asked him... if their daddy didn't want her ass why should you? You can't save her or fix her. This is the life she chose for herself and her kids. He eventually saw the light and moved on.

I've dated my fair share of single mothers, they will blow out when they see you aren't gonna be daddy material, IF you approach them in a dating frame. But if you approach them as just a booty call (fwb or what ever the hell you call it) then they know what the deal is.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Never dated a single mom (the idea of childbirth still really creeps me out!), but I really don't like putting absolutes on stuff like this. For me, a single mom isn't automatically disqualified, but everything else about her is going to be judged much more harshly. I would def not tolerate any bs--you need to be pretty AFC to let a single mom run all over you.

I don't see how "raising another man's child," without regard to the circumstances, is AFC. Is adopting a poor child from a third world nation AFC? Is the big brothers/ big sisters program AFC? Let's agree that getting "trapped" by a desperate single mom in search of a provider/daddy without fair reciprocation is AFC. Beyond that, I believe there a substantial 'gray area.'

 

[NewMan]

Is adopting a poor child from a third world nation AFC? Is the big brothers/ big sisters program AFC? Let's agree that getting "trapped" by a desperate single mom in search of a provider/daddy without fair reciprocation is AFC. Beyond that, I believe there a substantial 'gray area.'

It's not about being AFC or not - it's about investing time, money, sweat, tears on another man's genetic code - as opposed to your own.

Is adopting a poor child from a third world nation AFC?

This prevents you from spending your resources on your own off-spring - as opposed to someone else's. Sure, if you have millions of dollars, maybe there's a difference, but then you need to talk about emotional and actual time spent raising someone else's genetics.

Is the big brothers/ big sisters program AFC?

This is different from taking over the daddy role. Giving back to society and helping others has many benefits for both parties - and society in general.

Rollo has written about these things, and he's done a very good job of disecting both sides.

 

[WestCoaster]

Depends on your age

I dated one in my 20's -- enormous mistake. You should never, ever, ever date single mommy's in your 20's. Never! Got that?! I had the "save-a-ho" AFC complex back then.

30's -- Most of the time, no. After age 37 or so, it gets dicey. Most of the availables are single mommies. If possible do not. Lower 30's? Nope, no way, don't do it, please.

40's -- My age bracket, and I'm single. Just about impossible to find one not a single mommy. I've dated some gals in their 20's over the years, it's really not happening for me in that age bracket. I don't object dating women in that age group, I'm not connecting as much with them, unfortunately. So in your 40's, you can't write off a single mommy that often. If you have better options than a single mommy, chose that option.

If you date a single mommy in your 20's I'll hunt you down and smack you!

 

[KontrollerX]

"I don't see how "raising another man's child," without regard to the circumstances, is AFC."

Use the search feature here and read some of Rollo's posts about pro-active cuckoldry and you'll see why its wrong in great detail.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=145693

Here's a new one I think.


"Is adopting a poor child from a third world nation AFC?"

Yes. Children are a waste of fvcking time.

When celebrities like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie do it, it is shameless publicity attention wh0ring.

When a non celebrity male or female does this it is the same goddamned thing just on a lower level of attention wh0ring recognition.

Types like this are savior types who want to be rewarded by the world with praise by how goddamned self righteous and more supposedly moral than others they are.

"Is the big brothers/ big sisters program AFC?"

Yes.

An average frustrated chump would indeed get involved in such a program and waste time helping children when they should be helping themselves get money and women and focus on getting as much personal comfort in life as possible. The DJ way has you as your top priority. You only help others if its convenient and you have the desire to do so and in that order.

Worrying about and trying to save the world is impossible and the realm of many idealistic ego driven AFC fools that think they will somehow make an impact that the previous AFC generation tried and miserably failed at.

 

[NewMan]

Westcoaster - how old are you.... you've not intention of getting married?

 

[Max Power]

I don't see how "raising another man's child," without regard to the circumstances, is AFC.'

It's AFC because you don't really want a kid, you really just want the mother's *****, but as part of the bargain you have to raise a kid that you really don't want if you are honest with yourself.

Not being honest with yourself is also AFC.

There's no grey area there.

 

[STR8UP]

I guess I've done pretty good considering I'm 36 and have only dated one single mom.

West is right on. It gets harder as you get older to find women without children. I tend to gravitate toward younger women anyway though, so it's not so much of an issue for me, although I'm sure it's not going o get any easier as time goes on.

I would never rule it out, but I think as a general rule it's a good idea to avoid the mommies, especially if you're a younger guy.

 

[penkitten]

i wonder what the pie chart would look like for the following types of women:
married
single, never married
divorced with kids
lesbian
widowed

then after that pie chart, i want to see one that zones in on your single available type... like this:
too hot/ good to date you
too low class for you to date
currently not dating due to any reason.. (hates men, illness, std whatever)
available and ok to date

then we could go and make other pie charts on how women view men and just pie chart it to death.....

 

[Phyzzle]

I like pie charts, because I'm always able to justify putting myself into the top 2%.

And if you haven't seen this one:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thehighcontrast/2048594551/

Probably the finest relationship I ever had was with a single mom. She was just about perfect for me in personality. In fact, the only reason I ended it is because she was a single mom, and I realized that it wasn't for me.

 

[Jeffst1980]

>"Is the big brothers/ big sisters program AFC?"
>
>Yes.
>
>An average frustrated chump would indeed get involved in such a program >and waste time helping children when they should be helping themselves >get money and women and focus on getting as much personal comfort in >life as possible. The DJ way has you as your top priority. You only help >others if its convenient and you have the desire to do so and in that order.


I find this to be a very depressing worldview. It's important to look out for one's best interest, but I believe after achieving a certain level of personal comfort, we have a responsibility as human beings to look out for those less fortunate than us. This is basic morality.

I spent the majority of my childhood and teen years doing volunteer work. My parents stressed the importance of recognizing that our way of life was nothing to be granted. I still keep that in mind and try to keep up such activity---I assisted in the cleanup after Hurricane Katrina and ran an office food drive last xmas---although by my own admission I have not made it a priority in the last decade. Those things, however, were not motivated by a desire for attention. Anyone who has done charity work knows that the simple knowledge that you made someone's life a little bit easier is reward enough.