"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Watch Out For Parisites!!

SharinganUser

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Paris Hilton wanna-bes, aptly named Parisites, are growing in population and are threatening civilization as we know it. Parisites are known to travel in packs of up to 10. They are easily spotted by their nearly identical images(blonde, showing lotta skin, expensive clothes, ect...) and the one or two over weight parisites in the pack. Recent servey's have shown that they may also have a token metro/gay male friend along with them.

These people are dangerous. They have been seen luring men and taking their money, dignity, balls, and everything that makes a man a man. Women arround them will either be rediculed or attempted to be assimilated into the group. Should you see a parisite, do not panic, they can be handled. Should you run into them, hide and/or make your self look bigger than you are. If that doesn't work, confuse them by shouting "Paris!" or ask them a basic skill testing question. Never approach a group of parisites without being armed with hilariously sarcastic comments about them.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Hitman10000

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SharinganUser said:
Paris Hilton wanna-bes, aptly named Parisites, are growing in population and are threatening civilization as we know it. Parisites are known to travel in packs of up to 10. They are easily spotted by their nearly identical images(blonde, showing lotta skin, expensive clothes, ect...) and the one or two over weight parisites in the pack. Recent servey's have shown that they may also have a token metro/gay male friend along with them.

These people are dangerous. They have been seen luring men and taking their money, dignity, balls, and everything that makes a man a man. Women arround them will either be rediculed or attempted to be assimilated into the group. Should you see a parisite, do not panic, they can be handled. Should you run into them, hide and/or make your self look bigger than you are. If that doesn't work, confuse them by shouting "Paris!" or ask them a basic skill testing question. Never approach a group of parisites without being armed with hilariously sarcastic comments about them.
Paris Hilton

Anna Nicole Smith

what do they have in common besides having a loose vagina or being blonde?

They're both Histrionics. Avoid Histrionics like the plague, if you have to deal with them, don't take them seriously and treat them like children because that's what they are.
 

Raptured Phoenix

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wtf?

I dont see the value of this thread... I almost didn't reply because I didn't want to bump it.... But my god... someone should delete this maybe?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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dap

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Ha! I know some girls who totally fit this description.
 

KillaCam

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Pound them then toss them.
 

Docs

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Call_Me_Daddy said:
Parasites... you mean like most desperate single moms?
No...the ill-dreaded [Can't say it] are...worse.... much worse then parasites. They are...leeches. They get a hold of you...and...there's nothing left at the end.

But even worse then that...is a divorced [...cant' say it]. Normally, they are alright..but if they read a minute amount of female prograganda...they turn into cynical crack wh0res.

:crackup:
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

SharinganUser

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They are called Parisites, not parasites. They are called that because of their genetic inability to provide anything for society or other humanbeings.

;)
 

THE_ADDMAN

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haha

definitely a threat to the modern man.

If its too late to outrun them, administer a spray of Logic and Intelligence.

that should buy you enough time to make your escape (or number-close, if thats what ur into)
 

donjuanjovi

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haha, too true.

:crackup:
 

Duke

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THE_ADDMAN said:
haha

definitely a threat to the modern man.

If its too late to outrun them, administer a spray of Logic and Intelligence.

that should buy you enough time to make your escape (or number-close, if thats what ur into)
LMAO
 
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