"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Was this the best way to handle this?
- Thread starter MAVER1CK
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Short story: Thought girl and I were fixing relationship problems, but she left, and now says she's confused about another guy, planned on date with another guy, still confused, but claims to still love me, says she doesn't want me to go, blah blah blah. Said she wasn't attracted to him in a sexual way, just an i-like-him kind of way, blah blah blah. Girl really HAS been raped in the past by someone she was close to, and now has fears about people close to her hurting her, so it's a very tricky situation.
My response: Did not chase her. Simply let her know I love her, but she is making a mistake, and she's on her own in this one. I went on a date with another girl myself, and she found out about it. Emailed me pissed and said she was reconsidering things the whole weekend, and if I really loved her I would have had patience with her, and she would have been back, but now she's "completely gone". I responded simply, I do love you, but as I said, you've got to figure out your mistakes on your own, and I'm not going to sit here and watch you do it. But despite what you think, I didn't leave you behind. When you realized you ****ed up, call me.
That was two days ago. I'm going on another date, and I think she knows about it. This new girl is cute, about an 8, and I don't feel the least bit guilty dating someone because I know the other girl is doing the same thing.
I'm very rusty at this - I was under the idea that we had an excellent relationship for a year, kinda got out of the whole scene a while. I'd just like some feedback as to whether or not I handled this well, or if there is something I could have done differently. I'm still back in the learning stages.
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