"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Was this the best way to handle this?
- Thread starter MAVER1CK
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Short story: Thought girl and I were fixing relationship problems, but she left, and now says she's confused about another guy, planned on date with another guy, still confused, but claims to still love me, says she doesn't want me to go, blah blah blah. Said she wasn't attracted to him in a sexual way, just an i-like-him kind of way, blah blah blah. Girl really HAS been raped in the past by someone she was close to, and now has fears about people close to her hurting her, so it's a very tricky situation.
My response: Did not chase her. Simply let her know I love her, but she is making a mistake, and she's on her own in this one. I went on a date with another girl myself, and she found out about it. Emailed me pissed and said she was reconsidering things the whole weekend, and if I really loved her I would have had patience with her, and she would have been back, but now she's "completely gone". I responded simply, I do love you, but as I said, you've got to figure out your mistakes on your own, and I'm not going to sit here and watch you do it. But despite what you think, I didn't leave you behind. When you realized you ****ed up, call me.
That was two days ago. I'm going on another date, and I think she knows about it. This new girl is cute, about an 8, and I don't feel the least bit guilty dating someone because I know the other girl is doing the same thing.
I'm very rusty at this - I was under the idea that we had an excellent relationship for a year, kinda got out of the whole scene a while. I'd just like some feedback as to whether or not I handled this well, or if there is something I could have done differently. I'm still back in the learning stages.
Docs
Banned