"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Was this a BPD experience ? CRAZY story

Fitters

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Don't understand why you even bother to respond just to put the guy down. The art of sosouve is to make people feel better about themselves ; this is no different from kicking a person who is already down.

Anyways OP , BPD or not - you need a looong soul searching. Drop that girl and focus on yourself for a while. Just delete everything about her and try to do the little things that made you happy. You don't necessarily have to go back to the guy you used to be because that's both impossible and backwards thinking. Learn from this and be a better person.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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SmooveMooves

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So glad sosuave members aren't encouraging this big "Oh no! BPD" e-circle jerk.

Most of you guys who whine & cry about the notorious BPD have personality issues yourselves.
 

marmel75

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So glad sosuave members aren't encouraging this big "Oh no! BPD" e-circle jerk.

Most of you guys who whine & cry about the notorious BPD have personality issues yourselves.
Let's be honest...everyone has some kind of issue when you get right down to it. Some just have more than others, haha..
 

Infern0

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Yes, it sounds very very similar to my BPD ex, almost the same story.

Massive flirting in the beginning, throwing out all the signals, getting blatently jealous if i talked to other girls, constant texting.

Then the almost "shocked" reaction when i asked her out as though i was craay.

Then being lead on, messed about, playing the victim, "i'm a bad person" etc

I got a confession of a BPD diagnosis out of her about a year later.

i'd be 99% sure that yours is the same.
 

Infern0

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Your girl is holding a job and going to school. I'm yet to see a bpd girl who has accomplished anything like that. The only ones who appear successful from the outside are actually mooching off a man (or men) and burning through his money. Most of them are tattooed druggie fvckup baby factories.

There are a lot more types of mental illness than BPD. It is not a generic term for "crazy b!tch." It is a very specific mental disorder, with a specific set of traits.

And if you can't see how much you reek of AFC-ness, there is no helping you yet.
Obviously the dude is AFC and he's got massive codependency problems

however, your bpd may be on the low functioning end of the scale, mine does manage to hold down simple jobs, albeit she does change up fairly regularly after they begin to manage her out, and I detect many similar behaviours to my bpd (confirmed diagnosis) in his story so in my opinion, yes he's got issues but she does too.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Yewki

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Actually I had like 4 options when I first started talking to this girl
Read about BPD and than maybe you would understand something
You stayed in a sexless relationship with an emotionally retarded girl who did not reciprocate your feelings for over a year, and stated that you loved her for everything she was despite her flaws.

That's... basically the definition of AFC.

You're in denial, sorry.
 

Dgwizdal

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BPD or not you are a huge AFC.

No i didn't read this novel as I don't have the time or patience. The sheer size of it shows where your inner game is at and the few glimpes I caught were cringe worthy.

Forget this broad and whether or not she was a BPD. You didn't stand a chance regardless. Use this site to Get your mind right for yourself moving forward. Time to stop giving a fvck and get your nuts back.
 

HariPoter13

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You stayed in a sexless relationship with an emotionally retarded girl who did not reciprocate your feelings for over a year, and stated that you loved her for everything she was despite her flaws.

That's... basically the definition of AFC.

You're in denial, sorry.
AFC = emotionally damaged, insecure individual? With possible BPD tendencies?

We need to refine the term AFC. So should AFC's come to this forum to get bashed, or should they get professional help? I believe less and less in this bull**** that is teached here as more time goes on.
 

Yewki

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AFC = emotionally damaged, insecure individual? With possible BPD tendencies?
There could be many reasons why a guy is AFC with women. Emotionally damaged? Very well could be. BPD tendencies? Not necessarily. Insecure? Very likely.

]We need to refine the term AFC. So should AFC's come to this forum to get bashed, or should they get professional help? I believe less and less in this bull**** that is teached here as more time goes on.
Most men are AFC and would benefit greatly by overcoming their condition, in the same way an overweight person would benefit greatly by adopting a healthier lifestyle. An AFC who comes to this forum in denial is treated in a similar fashion as a fat slob who goes to a weight loss forum and acts like there's nothing to learn.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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