"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Was I in the wrong here?

Viper423

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My ex-girlfriends birthday was yesterday...she screwed me over by unexpectedly breaking up with me about a month ago, telling me she didn't want to be tied down anymore or serious with anyone. She hasn't called me or contacted me in any way the past 3 weeks. Well, i found out today from one of my friends that she is mad at me because I didn't call her on her birthday yesterday.

I'm thinking, wtf? I have cut contact with her to get over her, deleted her from my buddy list, deleted her personal web page off my bookmarks, and haven't called her. And she is mad because I didn't call her on her birthday after she broke my fvcking heart. Am I wrong for not calling her? Cause i'm kind of feeling bad.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Sugarfoot

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I know I was a bit rough on you the last time you posted, but I'm glad to see that you are staying away from that b!tch.

That being said, who cares if she's mad at you? That's a good thing, by the way! She thought she owned you, but she just realized that you don't need her anymore. She's was waiting for you to cave in and beg, but you haven't done that Viper (and you're not going to!).

You should feel empowered. Obviously she was thinking about you. However, she's not mad that a good friend didn't call her on her birthday. She's mad because she realizes now how powerless she is over you. You're doing good Viper. You're doing real good.


TOOTLES™
 
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Sugarfoot is right. She's angry because her little plaything's developed a mind of his own. Whoever it was telling you she's mad - do yourself a favour and tell them to spare you her sob stories. You're not interested.
 

PRMoon

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You're wasting your time with this person. You need to have a closure discussion with her in which you must have the maturity to take command of the situation completely. Explain to her in complete sentenses with all seriousness the full gravity of the situaition from your point of view like the D.A. vs a crack head who slaughtered children.

If she starts getting load and irrational (I should say when) then be firm and end the conversation washing your hands of the matter.

She needs to do some growing up, as do you no doubt but that's no reason for you to put up with that kind of chaos.

This is like that new Usher Song ... Can't figure it out , so caught up.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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biker_gixxer

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You need to have a closure discussion with her in which you must have the maturity to take command of the situation completely. Explain to her in complete sentenses with all seriousness the full gravity of the situaition from your point of view like the D.A. vs a crack head who slaughtered children.

Very bad idea. If you call this girl or get in contact with her, you'll be playing into her game. Right now, you have the Power, keep it that way.
 

Sugarfoot

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Originally posted by biker_gixxer
Very bad idea. If you call this girl or get in contact with her, you'll be playing into her game. Right now, you have the Power, keep it that way.

Agreed. A closure discussion is a horrible, horrible idea. Remember: do NOT contact her for any reason. Though it may seem innocent, it will just make your healing that much harder and longer.


TOOTLES™
 

Desdinova

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Women get all pissy when they think you're not missing them. You're doing a great job so far, and she didn't even deserve a birthday kick in the ass. Keep up the good work. The pain will go away as time passes.
 

FM 3321

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I think you did the right thing by not calling the EX. Hell you gave her all that time to contact you and she didn't. Why in the world would she think you would want to call her? I'm kinda going through the same thing of 0 contact but my ex's birthday is in April.

Also I think the breakup closure conversation gives the lady all the power. I did it with my ex because I wanted to get an explanation but I found out the female explanation of why she lost interest is totally useless. Better to leave it hanging....No Closure.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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MacDiddy

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Better to leave it hanging....No Closure.
You've just caused a revolution!!!!!!

Non closure acceptance is closure in itself...
Not seeking an answer after she dumps you will drive her insane and restore power back to you, post-breakup.
 

Wyldfire

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Nope...you did nothing wrong. She's just sore because you aren't pining away over her and are actually moving on with your life.

Continue to do just as you have been...

Good job.
 

DeathDealer

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Originally posted by sexual_intellectual
Sugarfoot is right. She's angry because her little plaything's developed a mind of his own. Whoever it was telling you she's mad - do yourself a favour and tell them to spare you her sob stories. You're not interested.
I concur with this assessment. I was recently put in the same situation a couple weeks ago.

My situation ended up with the girl b1tching at all the bad stuff I did... 7 MONTHS AGO (broke up 6 months ago) I just pretended my head was hurting and told her that I needed to get off the phone. Probably might change my cell number. Oh yeah, funny thing was.. she did the dumping. Why do girls feel like they have to keep bashing you even after they dumped you? Psychos.
 
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