"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Was I in the wrong here?

Viper423

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 6, 2002
Messages
228
Reaction score
0
Location
United States
My ex-girlfriends birthday was yesterday...she screwed me over by unexpectedly breaking up with me about a month ago, telling me she didn't want to be tied down anymore or serious with anyone. She hasn't called me or contacted me in any way the past 3 weeks. Well, i found out today from one of my friends that she is mad at me because I didn't call her on her birthday yesterday.

I'm thinking, wtf? I have cut contact with her to get over her, deleted her from my buddy list, deleted her personal web page off my bookmarks, and haven't called her. And she is mad because I didn't call her on her birthday after she broke my fvcking heart. Am I wrong for not calling her? Cause i'm kind of feeling bad.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Sugarfoot

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 22, 2000
Messages
145
Reaction score
0
Location
NY
I know I was a bit rough on you the last time you posted, but I'm glad to see that you are staying away from that b!tch.

That being said, who cares if she's mad at you? That's a good thing, by the way! She thought she owned you, but she just realized that you don't need her anymore. She's was waiting for you to cave in and beg, but you haven't done that Viper (and you're not going to!).

You should feel empowered. Obviously she was thinking about you. However, she's not mad that a good friend didn't call her on her birthday. She's mad because she realizes now how powerless she is over you. You're doing good Viper. You're doing real good.


TOOTLES™
 
Joined
Nov 13, 2004
Messages
157
Reaction score
0
Location
England
Sugarfoot is right. She's angry because her little plaything's developed a mind of his own. Whoever it was telling you she's mad - do yourself a favour and tell them to spare you her sob stories. You're not interested.
 

PRMoon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2003
Messages
3,739
Reaction score
41
Age
45
Location
-777-Vegas-777-
You're wasting your time with this person. You need to have a closure discussion with her in which you must have the maturity to take command of the situation completely. Explain to her in complete sentenses with all seriousness the full gravity of the situaition from your point of view like the D.A. vs a crack head who slaughtered children.

If she starts getting load and irrational (I should say when) then be firm and end the conversation washing your hands of the matter.

She needs to do some growing up, as do you no doubt but that's no reason for you to put up with that kind of chaos.

This is like that new Usher Song ... Can't figure it out , so caught up.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

biker_gixxer

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2004
Messages
688
Reaction score
0
You need to have a closure discussion with her in which you must have the maturity to take command of the situation completely. Explain to her in complete sentenses with all seriousness the full gravity of the situaition from your point of view like the D.A. vs a crack head who slaughtered children.

Very bad idea. If you call this girl or get in contact with her, you'll be playing into her game. Right now, you have the Power, keep it that way.
 

Sugarfoot

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 22, 2000
Messages
145
Reaction score
0
Location
NY
Originally posted by biker_gixxer
Very bad idea. If you call this girl or get in contact with her, you'll be playing into her game. Right now, you have the Power, keep it that way.

Agreed. A closure discussion is a horrible, horrible idea. Remember: do NOT contact her for any reason. Though it may seem innocent, it will just make your healing that much harder and longer.


TOOTLES™
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,680
Reaction score
4,874
Women get all pissy when they think you're not missing them. You're doing a great job so far, and she didn't even deserve a birthday kick in the ass. Keep up the good work. The pain will go away as time passes.
 

FM 3321

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2004
Messages
458
Reaction score
3
Location
Texas
I think you did the right thing by not calling the EX. Hell you gave her all that time to contact you and she didn't. Why in the world would she think you would want to call her? I'm kinda going through the same thing of 0 contact but my ex's birthday is in April.

Also I think the breakup closure conversation gives the lady all the power. I did it with my ex because I wanted to get an explanation but I found out the female explanation of why she lost interest is totally useless. Better to leave it hanging....No Closure.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

MacDiddy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2004
Messages
1,070
Reaction score
2
Location
Down South. Between the Y junction.
Better to leave it hanging....No Closure.
You've just caused a revolution!!!!!!

Non closure acceptance is closure in itself...
Not seeking an answer after she dumps you will drive her insane and restore power back to you, post-breakup.
 

Wyldfire

Banned
Joined
Oct 25, 2001
Messages
9,104
Reaction score
28
Nope...you did nothing wrong. She's just sore because you aren't pining away over her and are actually moving on with your life.

Continue to do just as you have been...

Good job.
 

DeathDealer

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 3, 2004
Messages
640
Reaction score
0
Originally posted by sexual_intellectual
Sugarfoot is right. She's angry because her little plaything's developed a mind of his own. Whoever it was telling you she's mad - do yourself a favour and tell them to spare you her sob stories. You're not interested.
I concur with this assessment. I was recently put in the same situation a couple weeks ago.

My situation ended up with the girl b1tching at all the bad stuff I did... 7 MONTHS AGO (broke up 6 months ago) I just pretended my head was hurting and told her that I needed to get off the phone. Probably might change my cell number. Oh yeah, funny thing was.. she did the dumping. Why do girls feel like they have to keep bashing you even after they dumped you? Psychos.
 
Top