so the girl and i split a few weeks ago, now she tells me that she wants our relationship to be the way it used to be. i told her she'll have to wait and see what happens. what should have i said, what should i say now?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
wanting me back
- Thread starter icallug
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
LuvMyArmyMan
Master Don Juan
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There is a reason you broke up in the first place. save yourself the heartache, and dont get back together, chances are you'll break up again.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
LuvMyArmyMan
Master Don Juan
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that comment is SOOOO AFC its ridiculous.
Be a bigger man, and shrug it off. Dont let her have that kind of power over you.
Be a bigger man, and shrug it off. Dont let her have that kind of power over you.
If you do that, what makes you any better than her? It makes you WORSE.Originally posted by icallug
alright thanks guys, but the reason she broke up with me is because she had feelings for someone else
i wanna play this chick so bad, and get her back
Just because she made a boneheaded move doesn't give you the all-clear to do the same. She hurt you, but where does hurting HER back, lead you? All that it does is make her feel bad, and makes her want to retaliate at you.
In the end you BOTH end up feeling terrible, and now you've wasted however many weeks or months of your life on this whole situation
It's a vicious cycle best avoided, my friend.