"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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wait_out's wave theory

wait_out

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This metaphor about learning to surf helped me re-conceptualize a lot of my thoughts about the game in 2011, in a positive way. Posted for my future reference, and for any like-minded souls out there.

1) There will always be more waves. Most important. You might miss every wave you tried for. The ocean might go flat for days. But there will always be more waves. Always.

2) If you're not in the lineup, you don't get a wave. You can watch from the beach if you want. But you won't catch anything.

3) Once the wave is gone, let it go. You get one chance. If it's over, turn around and wait for the next wave. Don't waste your energy chasing it into the beach. It won't work.

4) Learn to accept it will sometimes be painful. Getting washed sucks. You can get held under. Your leash might snap. You might get cut on the reef, or get a fin chop. You can only decide if you love surfing, more than you hate getting wiped out by a nasty wave. It's your choice. Crashing gracefully and coming up laughing will make your life easier.

5) It's all about building momentum. If you can't step on the gas, the wave will always pass you by. Learning to read waves consistently, and be in the right place, at the right time, is meaningless unless you have the paddle power to accelerate. At some point, you need to commit and make your move. No exceptions.

6) Learn to be patient. The ocean is still beautiful, even when there are no waves to be seen. Profit from the moment. You might see a sea turtle. Or if you're unlucky, a shark. Appreciate what you've got, while you still have it. Your life will be better if you focus on what's there, rather than what's lacking.

7) The wave lets you ride it. Surfing is a mutual act. You can get closed out unexpectedly. The wave may die out without warning. It may never get started. Or it may turn into the best ride of your life. Don't curse the ocean, or curse yourself. Offer gratitude to the wave for the good time you had (or, collect your broken board and scram), paddle back to the lineup, and wait for the next one.

8) Wearing sunscreen is a good idea. I'm sure you can figure this one out on your own.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Hotsauce

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Now I understand why women are constantly symbolized as oceans
 

Boilermaker

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it's not a "theory"

it's a metaphor, an analogy at best.

the word theory is reserved for more serious works of imagination, which have at least some solid connection with reality.
 

Victory Unlimited

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When I clicked on this thread, I thought I was gonna read a post about how to "beckon" or "wave" a woman over to you when she's with a group of her friends.

Boy, was "I" wrong! lol

I now see that you're talking about a very different kind of "wave" here.

Good analogy, Wait Out.


RESPECT.


V.U.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Vice

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wait_out said:
PS. 9) Conditions can be greatly affected by the moon
QFFT.

Great thread. I started surfing last year and totally sucked at it. This year will be the year of my redemption.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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