"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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wait_out's wave theory

wait_out

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This metaphor about learning to surf helped me re-conceptualize a lot of my thoughts about the game in 2011, in a positive way. Posted for my future reference, and for any like-minded souls out there.

1) There will always be more waves. Most important. You might miss every wave you tried for. The ocean might go flat for days. But there will always be more waves. Always.

2) If you're not in the lineup, you don't get a wave. You can watch from the beach if you want. But you won't catch anything.

3) Once the wave is gone, let it go. You get one chance. If it's over, turn around and wait for the next wave. Don't waste your energy chasing it into the beach. It won't work.

4) Learn to accept it will sometimes be painful. Getting washed sucks. You can get held under. Your leash might snap. You might get cut on the reef, or get a fin chop. You can only decide if you love surfing, more than you hate getting wiped out by a nasty wave. It's your choice. Crashing gracefully and coming up laughing will make your life easier.

5) It's all about building momentum. If you can't step on the gas, the wave will always pass you by. Learning to read waves consistently, and be in the right place, at the right time, is meaningless unless you have the paddle power to accelerate. At some point, you need to commit and make your move. No exceptions.

6) Learn to be patient. The ocean is still beautiful, even when there are no waves to be seen. Profit from the moment. You might see a sea turtle. Or if you're unlucky, a shark. Appreciate what you've got, while you still have it. Your life will be better if you focus on what's there, rather than what's lacking.

7) The wave lets you ride it. Surfing is a mutual act. You can get closed out unexpectedly. The wave may die out without warning. It may never get started. Or it may turn into the best ride of your life. Don't curse the ocean, or curse yourself. Offer gratitude to the wave for the good time you had (or, collect your broken board and scram), paddle back to the lineup, and wait for the next one.

8) Wearing sunscreen is a good idea. I'm sure you can figure this one out on your own.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Hotsauce

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Now I understand why women are constantly symbolized as oceans
 

Boilermaker

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it's not a "theory"

it's a metaphor, an analogy at best.

the word theory is reserved for more serious works of imagination, which have at least some solid connection with reality.
 

Victory Unlimited

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When I clicked on this thread, I thought I was gonna read a post about how to "beckon" or "wave" a woman over to you when she's with a group of her friends.

Boy, was "I" wrong! lol

I now see that you're talking about a very different kind of "wave" here.

Good analogy, Wait Out.


RESPECT.


V.U.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Vice

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wait_out said:
PS. 9) Conditions can be greatly affected by the moon
QFFT.

Great thread. I started surfing last year and totally sucked at it. This year will be the year of my redemption.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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