Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Vintovka's Lifting Journal
- Thread starter Vintovka
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Start of Week 9
Plugging along, staying focused on progress. Second set of deads I almost couldn't finish, throught the weight was too much but then noticed I wasn't breathing. I have a bad habit that if I don't focus I'll hold my breath while lifting, not good. Got my breathing situated and knocked out the third set no problem.
Hammers
3x9 +1 rep
DB Rows
3x6 +5 lbs
Deads
3x6 +10 lbs
Haven't got my cardio the last couple days, it's finals week. I miss it too, looking forward to resuming tomorrow.
I've got 4 weeks of winter break coming up and only working 20 hours/week. Gonna nail my diet and bust ass in the gym, hopefully make some decent progress over the break.
Thanks, maybe I'll alternate between palms in/out each week. I can finally manage a single pull-up unassisted, palms in. Pretty pathetic I know, but first time in my life I've been able to do one, when I was skinny didn't have enough upper body strength, when I put on weight, well, self-explanitory.
Plugging along, staying focused on progress. Second set of deads I almost couldn't finish, throught the weight was too much but then noticed I wasn't breathing. I have a bad habit that if I don't focus I'll hold my breath while lifting, not good. Got my breathing situated and knocked out the third set no problem.
Hammers
3x9 +1 rep
DB Rows
3x6 +5 lbs
Deads
3x6 +10 lbs
Haven't got my cardio the last couple days, it's finals week. I miss it too, looking forward to resuming tomorrow.
I've got 4 weeks of winter break coming up and only working 20 hours/week. Gonna nail my diet and bust ass in the gym, hopefully make some decent progress over the break.
Chest/Tri/Shoulders
Ran out of steam at the end on the overhead presses, my streak of weight raises each session may be coming to end for a bit.
Flat DB Bench
3x6 +10 lbs
Incline DB Fly
3x6 +10 lbs
Skull Crushers
3x5 +10 lbs
Overhead Press
4 +10 lbs
3 +5 lbs
2 +0 lbs
But I suppose if every lift was a breeze then I wouldn't be using enough weight anyway.
Ran out of steam at the end on the overhead presses, my streak of weight raises each session may be coming to end for a bit.
Flat DB Bench
3x6 +10 lbs
Incline DB Fly
3x6 +10 lbs
Skull Crushers
3x5 +10 lbs
Overhead Press
4 +10 lbs
3 +5 lbs
2 +0 lbs
But I suppose if every lift was a breeze then I wouldn't be using enough weight anyway.
Week 10
Campus gym doesn't open till 11:30am so I couldn't lift before work. Got in there around 4pm and since I take my only carbs after morning cardio, energy was non existant. Going to have to get some pre-workout carb intake if I'm going to use the gym in the afternoon.
Dropped hammer curls, no more direct bicep work. Replaced it with assisted chins, new movement was plenty difficult.
Chin ups Palms In / Out
I x6 bodyweight -112 lbs
O x3 bw -112 lbs
I x4 bw -112 lbs
Palms in are close grip, out is wide grip, pretty pathetic, should improve fast, I hope.
Barbell Bent-Over Row
3x5 no change
First time doing these BB instead of DB, felt awkward, form was probably not right, think I'll go back to DB's for now.
Deads
3x6 +12 lbs (over 200 lbs now, wooo)
Never done deads with an oly bar or in a power cage before (I've been using 5' weight bar at home) and was trying to figure out how to do it. If I put the pins in the lowest hole, the bar would be just below my knees, too far up.
Went and asked the weight room attendant how deadlifts worked in a powercage, she looked up deadlifts in a binder and pointed me toward some kind of machine.
I explained I wanted to do them with free weights, so she went to ask her buddy doing DB curls, he did some kind of lunge looking thing with the oly bar between his scissored legs and asked if that's what I meant, so I explained the motions of a deadlift to which he replied "I don't know, I don't do legs much"
Finally a guy told me I could do them just outside the squat rack, which I did. The rules (which I read before I went the first time, cause I'm like that) said no free weights off the rubber pads, but I don't think they're enforced much. Ah well, I'll just keep doing them that way till someone tells me otherwise.
Morning cardio as always, need to up my red meat and eggs. Got some fish oil caps and some B super complex in addition to my my multi and green tea.
Campus gym doesn't open till 11:30am so I couldn't lift before work. Got in there around 4pm and since I take my only carbs after morning cardio, energy was non existant. Going to have to get some pre-workout carb intake if I'm going to use the gym in the afternoon.
Dropped hammer curls, no more direct bicep work. Replaced it with assisted chins, new movement was plenty difficult.
Chin ups Palms In / Out
I x6 bodyweight -112 lbs
O x3 bw -112 lbs
I x4 bw -112 lbs
Palms in are close grip, out is wide grip, pretty pathetic, should improve fast, I hope.
Barbell Bent-Over Row
3x5 no change
First time doing these BB instead of DB, felt awkward, form was probably not right, think I'll go back to DB's for now.
Deads
3x6 +12 lbs (over 200 lbs now, wooo)
Never done deads with an oly bar or in a power cage before (I've been using 5' weight bar at home) and was trying to figure out how to do it. If I put the pins in the lowest hole, the bar would be just below my knees, too far up.
Went and asked the weight room attendant how deadlifts worked in a powercage, she looked up deadlifts in a binder and pointed me toward some kind of machine.
I explained I wanted to do them with free weights, so she went to ask her buddy doing DB curls, he did some kind of lunge looking thing with the oly bar between his scissored legs and asked if that's what I meant, so I explained the motions of a deadlift to which he replied "I don't know, I don't do legs much"
Finally a guy told me I could do them just outside the squat rack, which I did. The rules (which I read before I went the first time, cause I'm like that) said no free weights off the rubber pads, but I don't think they're enforced much. Ah well, I'll just keep doing them that way till someone tells me otherwise.
Morning cardio as always, need to up my red meat and eggs. Got some fish oil caps and some B super complex in addition to my my multi and green tea.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Chest/Tri/Shoulders
Had a cold the last 4 or so days, I should've suspended training to get well, but I'm foolish sometimes. It's really showing up too; energy, recovery and gym preformance have been crap. My arms and back were still sore from Monday's lift but I went ahead today.
The combination of these factors led to a reduction in weight pushed this week.
Incline Bench DB Press
6x120
4x120
5x110
Flat Bench DB Press
5x90
5x90
5x90
Assisted Dips
6xbw -106
6xbw -106
6xbw -106
I started to warm up for military presses, but just didn't have it in me.
I'm gonna squat on Fri as planned and maybe hit arms on Sunday if I'm feeling better, then take 4 days off over the holiday to try and recouperate.
Had a cold the last 4 or so days, I should've suspended training to get well, but I'm foolish sometimes. It's really showing up too; energy, recovery and gym preformance have been crap. My arms and back were still sore from Monday's lift but I went ahead today.
The combination of these factors led to a reduction in weight pushed this week.
Incline Bench DB Press
6x120
4x120
5x110
Flat Bench DB Press
5x90
5x90
5x90
Assisted Dips
6xbw -106
6xbw -106
6xbw -106
I started to warm up for military presses, but just didn't have it in me.
I'm gonna squat on Fri as planned and maybe hit arms on Sunday if I'm feeling better, then take 4 days off over the holiday to try and recouperate.
End of Week 10 - Legs
Almost over this cold, preformance was better, satisfied with this workout. I need to do more on leg days, but I'm usually pretty spent by them time I'm finished squating.
Squats
6x187
6x177
6x177
+12 lbs over last weeks (165 lbs)
Got a little ambitious on the first set but my heels were coming off the ground getting out of the bottom of the squat, so backed it down.
The gym has a mixture of plates in kilos and lbs, that's why the numbers aren't in increments of 5.
Squatx15
15x120 +10 lbs over last week
Might need to bump these up a bit in relation to my main set, I can knock these out pretty fast without a pause.
Almost over this cold, preformance was better, satisfied with this workout. I need to do more on leg days, but I'm usually pretty spent by them time I'm finished squating.
Squats
6x187
6x177
6x177
+12 lbs over last weeks (165 lbs)
Got a little ambitious on the first set but my heels were coming off the ground getting out of the bottom of the squat, so backed it down.
The gym has a mixture of plates in kilos and lbs, that's why the numbers aren't in increments of 5.
Squatx15
15x120 +10 lbs over last week
Might need to bump these up a bit in relation to my main set, I can knock these out pretty fast without a pause.
Week 11
Rested up over the holiday, ate a ton of carbs, slept alot, protein intake was meh. Took a couple days off from cardio, back on track now.
Decided to give Rippetoe a whirl, I know some don't like it but I think I'm going to enjoy squatting 3x a week
Sqaut
5x187
5x187
5x187
Up 10 lbs over last week.
DB Flat Bench
5x110
5x110
5x110
Went down 5 lbs, I think I took the weight up too fast, couldn't keep the movements smooth, so backed it down. Only going to take the poundage up when I can control the weights, no wobble.
Deadlift
5x220
Up 18 lbs over last week.
Assisted Dips
8x bw -88 lbs
Assisted with 18 lbs less this week, was supposed to do two sets of 8, but just didn't have it, with the assist set to max weight my arms would still give out after 2 or 3 reps.
I go low on these, I bottom out the assist lever.
I think I'll like this program, need to eat like never before though.
Rested up over the holiday, ate a ton of carbs, slept alot, protein intake was meh. Took a couple days off from cardio, back on track now.
Decided to give Rippetoe a whirl, I know some don't like it but I think I'm going to enjoy squatting 3x a week
Sqaut
5x187
5x187
5x187
Up 10 lbs over last week.
DB Flat Bench
5x110
5x110
5x110
Went down 5 lbs, I think I took the weight up too fast, couldn't keep the movements smooth, so backed it down. Only going to take the poundage up when I can control the weights, no wobble.
Deadlift
5x220
Up 18 lbs over last week.
Assisted Dips
8x bw -88 lbs
Assisted with 18 lbs less this week, was supposed to do two sets of 8, but just didn't have it, with the assist set to max weight my arms would still give out after 2 or 3 reps.
I go low on these, I bottom out the assist lever.
I think I'll like this program, need to eat like never before though.
End of Week 11
Took some aspirin before I lifted, legs were still a little sore. Getting as much protein as I can manage, even set my alarm and woke up halfway through the night for another double scoop of whey.
Squat
5x197
5x197
5x197
Up 10 lbs.
Heels didn't come off the floor once.
Military Press
5x89
5x89
5x89
Had to rest between reps 3, 4 and 5 on the last set. Need to build alot of strength on this movement.
Pendley Row
5x89
5x89
5x89
Went light on these cause I'm still learning the form, much better than last time.
Assisted Chin-Up
6x bw -100
6x bw -100
Goal was 2x8 but wasn't there, making progress though, 12lbs less assist this week.
Keeping up with the morning cardio. Gym is closed on Monday, so next week will be a T/R/Sa split.
Took some aspirin before I lifted, legs were still a little sore. Getting as much protein as I can manage, even set my alarm and woke up halfway through the night for another double scoop of whey.
Squat
5x197
5x197
5x197
Up 10 lbs.
Heels didn't come off the floor once.
Military Press
5x89
5x89
5x89
Had to rest between reps 3, 4 and 5 on the last set. Need to build alot of strength on this movement.
Pendley Row
5x89
5x89
5x89
Went light on these cause I'm still learning the form, much better than last time.
Assisted Chin-Up
6x bw -100
6x bw -100
Goal was 2x8 but wasn't there, making progress though, 12lbs less assist this week.
Keeping up with the morning cardio. Gym is closed on Monday, so next week will be a T/R/Sa split.
Week 12
Squats
5x210
5x210
5x210
Up 13 lbs from last time
Flat BB Bench
5x120
5x120
5x120
Gonna learn to walk before I learn to run, need to get my form down on BB before moving to DB. My benching is sloppy.
Deadlifts
5x230
Up 10 lbs
Assisted Dips
8x bw-76
8x bw-76
12 lbs less assist
Staying the course
Squats
5x210
5x210
5x210
Up 13 lbs from last time
Flat BB Bench
5x120
5x120
5x120
Gonna learn to walk before I learn to run, need to get my form down on BB before moving to DB. My benching is sloppy.
Deadlifts
5x230
Up 10 lbs
Assisted Dips
8x bw-76
8x bw-76
12 lbs less assist
Staying the course
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Squats
5x220
5x220
5x220
Up 10 lbs
Military Press
5x94
5x94
5x94
Up 5 lbs and fewer rests during sets, my wrist hurts, widened my grip a bit to alleviate
Pendley Rows
5x114
5x114
5x114
Up 25 lbs, no suprise, went light last time, getting the form learned
Assisted Chins
7x bw -96
6x bw -96
4 lbs less assist and one extra rep, need to make sure to drop all the way, no cheating
Not too shabby, I love it when I have progress. Cutting out my morning carbs for a few weeks, bf loss has stalled, hope this jumpstarts it. Still eating 2500-3000 kcals though, as much protein as I can manage.
5x220
5x220
5x220
Up 10 lbs
Military Press
5x94
5x94
5x94
Up 5 lbs and fewer rests during sets, my wrist hurts, widened my grip a bit to alleviate
Pendley Rows
5x114
5x114
5x114
Up 25 lbs, no suprise, went light last time, getting the form learned
Assisted Chins
7x bw -96
6x bw -96
4 lbs less assist and one extra rep, need to make sure to drop all the way, no cheating
Not too shabby, I love it when I have progress. Cutting out my morning carbs for a few weeks, bf loss has stalled, hope this jumpstarts it. Still eating 2500-3000 kcals though, as much protein as I can manage.
End of Week 12
Progress slowed on squats a bit, not suprising as my only carbs for the last 3 days has been 52g of fructose post-workout. Was happy with benching though, getting my form right helped alot. Was hoping for deads to go up more than 10, but ah well. Plugging along on the assists with less each time.
Squats
5x230
5x225
5x225
Last week was 220, if I had stuck with 230 I'm sure I would have gotten stuck in the hole, embarassing.
BB Flat Bench
5x133
5x133
5x133
Up 13 lbs, wish the benches had adjustable spotter bars, I worry about not being able to get the weight up and racked if I get a little overzealous.
Deadlifts
5x240
Assisted Dips
8x bw -70
7x bw -70
6 lbs less assist
Another testimonial for needing a minimum of 1.5g/lbs of bodyweight of protein, since I got my protein in order I'm rarely sore. Squating heavy (for me) 3x a week and my legs feel fine.
Another T/R/S week coming up, think my body needs the full 2 days to recoup.
Progress slowed on squats a bit, not suprising as my only carbs for the last 3 days has been 52g of fructose post-workout. Was happy with benching though, getting my form right helped alot. Was hoping for deads to go up more than 10, but ah well. Plugging along on the assists with less each time.
Squats
5x230
5x225
5x225
Last week was 220, if I had stuck with 230 I'm sure I would have gotten stuck in the hole, embarassing.
BB Flat Bench
5x133
5x133
5x133
Up 13 lbs, wish the benches had adjustable spotter bars, I worry about not being able to get the weight up and racked if I get a little overzealous.
Deadlifts
5x240
Assisted Dips
8x bw -70
7x bw -70
6 lbs less assist
Another testimonial for needing a minimum of 1.5g/lbs of bodyweight of protein, since I got my protein in order I'm rarely sore. Squating heavy (for me) 3x a week and my legs feel fine.
Another T/R/S week coming up, think my body needs the full 2 days to recoup.
Week 13
I can really see a difference in gym performance since I've been on a strict TKD taking in fructose after lifting and only trace amounts of any other carbs. Progress has slowed but the biggest difference has been in my attitude, hard to be motivated when I feel lethargic and pushing the weight up is taking increasingly more effort. After this week I think I'll reintroduce oatmeal for breakfast.
Squats
5x230
5x230
5x230
Trying to increase the speed/explosivness I preform these, by the last set I'm moving super slow coming up. Last week was a 230 and 2 225's, so some progress there.
Military Presses
5x94
5x89
5x89
Argh, hate having to take a step backwards but my form needs work.
Pendley Row
5x120
5x120
5x120
Up 6 lbs, was expecting more but see above.
Assisted Chins
8x -88
4x -100
Boo, at least the first set was 6 lbs less assist.
An hour of cardio in the morning and another 45 mins in the evening 6x a week. Diet around 2-3k a day and mucho protein.
I can really see a difference in gym performance since I've been on a strict TKD taking in fructose after lifting and only trace amounts of any other carbs. Progress has slowed but the biggest difference has been in my attitude, hard to be motivated when I feel lethargic and pushing the weight up is taking increasingly more effort. After this week I think I'll reintroduce oatmeal for breakfast.
Squats
5x230
5x230
5x230
Trying to increase the speed/explosivness I preform these, by the last set I'm moving super slow coming up. Last week was a 230 and 2 225's, so some progress there.
Military Presses
5x94
5x89
5x89
Argh, hate having to take a step backwards but my form needs work.
Pendley Row
5x120
5x120
5x120
Up 6 lbs, was expecting more but see above.
Assisted Chins
8x -88
4x -100
Boo, at least the first set was 6 lbs less assist.
An hour of cardio in the morning and another 45 mins in the evening 6x a week. Diet around 2-3k a day and mucho protein.
Fructose post-workout is probably very sub-optimal. spez recently posted a link that explains why in fairly clear language (scroll down a bit):Vintovka said:
http://www.wannabebig.com/article.php?articleid=274
if you're going to load up on carbs after a workout, you'll want to consider dextrose or maltodextrin plus whey instead of fructose. protein is more important than carbs post-workout, at least that's the conventional wisdom, which is why you hear everyone get all worked up about whey. for what it's worth, i'm just about to start experimenting with post-workout whey myself.
also, are you getting any food 30 min to 2 hrs pre-workout? you're getting past your 'newbie gains' so it's going to get harder from here on out. folks have very different recommendations about pre-workout nutrition, but the longer and/or more intense the workout, the more you need some sort of complex carbs to get you through the workout itself.
I was in a pretty sh1tty mood all around yesterday, feel better today.
I follow the fructose 10 mins later with a double scoop of whey, so I'm getting around 46g of protein post-workout.
I switched to fructose from yogurt after WBA advised against dairy, looks like it's time to change again, guess that's the learning process.
Also, I'm changing more than one variable at a time, I've stopped taking a EC stack before lifting which I'm sure plays into my precieved energy levels. I was taking EC twice a day in addition to 4-5 diet cokes a day. I've cut back to just a single EC in the morning and only water during the week. My hands have stopped trembling which helps at work, lol
About 30 mins prior to heading to the gym I have a double scoop of whey and some fish oil and maybe a piece of cheese.
I follow the fructose 10 mins later with a double scoop of whey, so I'm getting around 46g of protein post-workout.
I switched to fructose from yogurt after WBA advised against dairy, looks like it's time to change again, guess that's the learning process.
Also, I'm changing more than one variable at a time, I've stopped taking a EC stack before lifting which I'm sure plays into my precieved energy levels. I was taking EC twice a day in addition to 4-5 diet cokes a day. I've cut back to just a single EC in the morning and only water during the week. My hands have stopped trembling which helps at work, lol
About 30 mins prior to heading to the gym I have a double scoop of whey and some fish oil and maybe a piece of cheese.
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
Rawr
Feel 100 times better about my workout today, general mood is much improved from Tuesday, must have just been some random flux, it did happen at the same time I ran out of Fish Oil, anecdotal I know, but I feel alot better all around since I started taking at least 15g a day of the stuff.
Squats
5x235
5x235
5x235
Up 5 lbs, progress is progress.
Flat BB Bench
5x143
5x143
5x143
Up 10 lbs, I like benching now that I understand the form better.
Deadlift
5x250
Up 10 lbs, if progress continues next week this'll be my first lift to pass my bodyweight.
Assisted Dip
7x -64
7x -64
6 lbs less assist, can't wait till I have to start adding weight to these and chins, far in the future though I know
Still TKD'ing, continualy revising my plans as developments occur, might run it next week too before reintroducing some complex carbs to breakfast.
Till Saturday
Feel 100 times better about my workout today, general mood is much improved from Tuesday, must have just been some random flux, it did happen at the same time I ran out of Fish Oil, anecdotal I know, but I feel alot better all around since I started taking at least 15g a day of the stuff.
Squats
5x235
5x235
5x235
Up 5 lbs, progress is progress.
Flat BB Bench
5x143
5x143
5x143
Up 10 lbs, I like benching now that I understand the form better.
Deadlift
5x250
Up 10 lbs, if progress continues next week this'll be my first lift to pass my bodyweight.
Assisted Dip
7x -64
7x -64
6 lbs less assist, can't wait till I have to start adding weight to these and chins, far in the future though I know
Still TKD'ing, continualy revising my plans as developments occur, might run it next week too before reintroducing some complex carbs to breakfast.
Till Saturday
End of Week 13
A good workout, although I need to do something to get my mil press moving up, would welcome any suggestions
Squat
5x240
5x240
5x240
Every week while doing my work sets, I think to myself, 'There's no way I can add more weight,' then next week I slap on a few more pounds and think the same thing, hehe
Military Press
5x99
3x94 2x89
5x89
Boo, some progress I guess, slow going
Pendley Row
5x143
5x143
5x143
Up 23 pounds, still improving form
Assisted Chins
8x -82
6x -82
6 lbs less assist, dropping to a dead hang
Have a 2.5 month progress pic I'd like to share, but gotta find some webspace
Replaced pwo fructose with a heaping of oatmeal with some sucrose added till I can find a better solution
A good workout, although I need to do something to get my mil press moving up, would welcome any suggestions
Squat
5x240
5x240
5x240
Every week while doing my work sets, I think to myself, 'There's no way I can add more weight,' then next week I slap on a few more pounds and think the same thing, hehe
Military Press
5x99
3x94 2x89
5x89
Boo, some progress I guess, slow going
Pendley Row
5x143
5x143
5x143
Up 23 pounds, still improving form
Assisted Chins
8x -82
6x -82
6 lbs less assist, dropping to a dead hang
Have a 2.5 month progress pic I'd like to share, but gotta find some webspace
Replaced pwo fructose with a heaping of oatmeal with some sucrose added till I can find a better solution
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.