okay i've been trying and been doing everything on this sight but cant seem to get the nice guy reputation off of my name. girls wont even start up convos with me and dont really want to talk to me. and to make it worse one of my best friends(nice guys) seems to be getting a lot of attention from a lot of girls. it seems reversed situations. i am getting very unmotivated. any help?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
very pissed/confused
- Thread starter lsu03
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
duffman360
Don Juan
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- Oct 15, 2007
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just stop being so nice or read the dj bible
john paul
Senior Don Juan
Becoming your new DJ self isnt going to happen over night. Its going to be a slow transformation and its going to be even slower for people to realise your changing.
Make sure you know how the DJ acts and give it a month for some noticable changes. Its been about 5 months for me now and im starting to see some big changes in how people see and respect me.
Make sure you know how the DJ acts and give it a month for some noticable changes. Its been about 5 months for me now and im starting to see some big changes in how people see and respect me.
How long you been doin this for?
Um, duh. Girls are passive. YOU have to take ACTION and initiate with THEM. A DJ just doesn't wait around for girls to approach him...girls wont even start up convos with me
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
DJ_Matthew
Don Juan
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- Sep 1, 2007
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- 91
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Yeah I know what that's like.lsu03 said:okay i've been trying and been doing everything on this sight but cant seem to get the nice guy reputation off of my name. girls wont even start up convos with me and dont really want to talk to me. and to make it worse one of my best friends(nice guys) seems to be getting a lot of attention from a lot of girls. it seems reversed situations. i am getting very unmotivated. any help?
You have to start up conversations with girls at first and then they'll start conversation with you.
Remember, don't give a damn what anyone else thinks.
Since your friend is getting so much attention, just hang around with him more and you'll be able to talk to girls.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Hair stylist
Banned
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2008
- Messages
- 27
- Reaction score
- 1
Quick advice: Worry less about how youre percieved. If youre a good person, do what makes you happy and leave it at that. You cannot require others validation your entire life or you will be miserable. I hope this helps, feel free to PM me if you have any questions.
man, ok just a quick note, what do u mean by nice? if a girl asks u to move a bit so that she can get in to get her beer, what would u do? would u say,"only if u buy me one" or just say,"sure" with a smile and then moving aside turning ur back to her? nice is not when u behave good with a girl, nice is when u try to be too good with a girl. thats a turn off to a girl. just dont act needy, be happy with urself and for the time being, focus on how to build the chemistry with a girl or girls while at the same time, coming off as a prize. that will solve ur prob and check this whole site thouroughly and make naturals friends as many as possible.
Hey Isu
One thing to think about is not actually thinking about it
Leave your mind to be free of the worry and let yourself have a good time whatever you're doing
They don't approach you? so what? They're the ones to be next sat alone thinking of what they should have said to you when they see you leaving with a hot lass that day.
It can only be done with confidence, a genuine smile and no worries at all
As long as you feel comfortable, everyone around you will too, just have fun, tease them and they will be at your feet by the next day.
One thing to think about is not actually thinking about it
Leave your mind to be free of the worry and let yourself have a good time whatever you're doing
They don't approach you? so what? They're the ones to be next sat alone thinking of what they should have said to you when they see you leaving with a hot lass that day.
It can only be done with confidence, a genuine smile and no worries at all
As long as you feel comfortable, everyone around you will too, just have fun, tease them and they will be at your feet by the next day.
'I can't get rid of my niceguy image'
That's the problem, you are still worrying about what people think of you. That's a nice guy trait. You can try to be a bad@ass, you just be one.
Ok that's a bit harsh considering your just starting, but you wont truly lose your imagine untill you geniuenly stop caring about what people think of you.
That's the problem, you are still worrying about what people think of you. That's a nice guy trait. You can try to be a bad@ass, you just be one.
Ok that's a bit harsh considering your just starting, but you wont truly lose your imagine untill you geniuenly stop caring about what people think of you.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Stop caring about what people think you are, and be less nice, adopt the personality you want. Pretty soon people will start realising you're different. I was a 'nice guy' in secondary school (age 11-16), but now, nearly 3 years on, all those girls I knew from school instantly realise I'm completely different now when they meet me.
Just keep it up mate.
Just keep it up mate.
ok lsu, i have a slightly modified advice for u: dont become completely different suddenly, it would lose u some friends, u bet and u wont like that. guys, we are trying to improve ourselves. we would gradually change ourselves and if u had not been meeting someone for a long time, they might meet u someday and it seems u have changed a lot but that is natural to be taken after a long time, isnt it? i would ask u just to stop doing anything nice or too good to anyone at the moment unless it is urgent (applies more importantly to girls) and try to stand out by being different and a bit more adventurous fun.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.