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Unrequited Love?

guru1000

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This is the chap that went from his 'pick-up blueprint' to a bhuddist spiritualist (don't laugh) within a year.

Absolute clownshoes. But entertaining watching all the cons.

And no, I don't have a woman's name tattooed on me. One got me a tattoo on valentines day, if that's what you are whinging about. Strange thing to complain about.
Your posts keep getting weaker and weaker. What's your next post going to be, a homosexuality confession?

Now the only counter you are left with is my words are Buddhist philosophy. lol I never read a Buddhist book nor their philosophy. But if it is Buddhist philosphy to be authentic and not a game panderer changing his own will, form and integrity to "win" the approval of women who eventually leave him anyway, then Buddhist "game" is a big step up for you, is it not?

Now go ahead and unfollow me (as you did a few years back) because I hurt your feelings by telling all to be authentic and forget game.
 

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stormrider

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it's that molding the woman that i need more practice with. it needs constant attention and the decision of when to cut the losses and bail(if she starts taking advantage of the situation and isn't listening) is entirely arbitrary. despite investing time and attention it's best to stay detached, like day trading. you can study and invest and watch the position all day and still lose money, and you have to be ok with that since it's part of the game, or else you'll never make it. it all comes back to owning my losses completely, no shame. that's the mindset that will keep me from repeating the same mistakes after all, since a calm mindfulness is the best head space to learn or make any decision in.
Molding women starts from the beginning. It’s not something you start doing after you’ve started a relationship. At the very beginning, the frame is qualifying/dismissing her based on your standards.

If she doesn’t accept the conditions, then there could be no masculine-feminine dynamic. It would be more like some kind of weird “equal” relationship that most guys settle for.

The mindset is not focused on wins and losses, but rather, reward and punishment. You always win so it’s irrelevant to even think about it. When she acts up, you win because you get to disqualify someone who isn’t compatible with you. Losing an incompatible woman is a win.

Your time and investment is in direct correlation to her efforts. She makes efforts to give to the relationship, you meet her halfway with your efforts. Nothing is ever wasted.

This is how you mold her. You set the frame from the beginning. Lay out the parameters. And reward/punish based on her actions.

If she doesn’t follow your lead then there is no masculine-feminine relationship. It’s a buddy-buddy relationship.

It’s really simple. At the first sign of her not valuing you, you kick her to the curb.

If you really think about it, women are smart. They know how to play the relationship game. Even if a woman loses love for you, it wouldn’t show right away. She might be holding on to you before something better comes along.

So if she actively shows that she doesn’t value you, chances are, her feelings changed a long time ago.

This is where most guys fvck up. They delay the inevitable and end up getting dumped anyway.

That’s why I drop women at the first sign. I don’t need 10 more signs. History has taught me that when a woman acts a certain way, it’s because she already felt that way a long time ago.
 

guru1000

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Bitchy. You imply that my replies are strong, yet your's never have been.

You've been on here for several decades, again.

My counter is that you are a sycophant fraud gimp.

Let's put it this way, I wouldn't allow or condone you to speak to anyone in my family. And I consider that very basic judgement.
Many words, zero meaning.
 
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EyeOnThePrize

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Molding women starts from the beginning. It’s not something you start doing after you’ve started a relationship. At the very beginning, the frame is qualifying/dismissing her based on your standards.

If she doesn’t accept the conditions, then there could be no masculine-feminine dynamic. It would be more like some kind of weird “equal” relationship that most guys settle for.

The mindset is not focused on wins and losses, but rather, reward and punishment. You always win so it’s irrelevant to even think about it. When she acts up, you win because you get to disqualify someone who isn’t compatible with you. Losing an incompatible woman is a win.

Your time and investment is in direct correlation to her efforts. She makes efforts to give to the relationship, you meet her halfway with your efforts. Nothing is ever wasted.

This is how you mold her. You set the frame from the beginning. Lay out the parameters. And reward/punish based on her actions.

If she doesn’t follow your lead then there is no masculine-feminine relationship. It’s a buddy-buddy relationship.

It’s really simple. At the first sign of her not valuing you, you kick her to the curb.

If you really think about it, women are smart. They know how to play the relationship game. Even if a woman loses love for you, it wouldn’t show right away. She might be holding on to you before something better comes along.

So if she actively shows that she doesn’t value you, chances are, her feelings changed a long time ago.

This is where most guys fvck up. They delay the inevitable and end up getting dumped anyway.

That’s why I drop women at the first sign. I don’t need 10 more signs. History has taught me that when a woman acts a certain way, it’s because she already felt that way a long time ago.
jesus i'm good at over-complicating this stuff. the ex used crying out of the gate and i gave her the benefit of the doubt. i thought she was opening up and it was new to her to be so vulnerable, that she was adjusting, but she was using crying to get away with misbehavior. a guilt trip/victim card. there's something to be said about kicking a girl to the curb at the first sign, it keeps her on her toes and it has to be completely ruthless.
 

samspade

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I had my ex over last night.

TLDR: we had sex and i felt great for an hour or two after she left but then i felt weird and violated or something and i'm not sure where that feeling is coming from. has anyone had similar and has found out why?

The relationship had ended over a year ago and it was a weird rocky end where we both felt hurt in our own ways. After the break up we both individually did our own soul searching. I struggled with pot for a bit but I've been living the monk life recently and challenging myself as best as I can to stay sober and find healthy outlets. Recently I found out that so has she.

Anyway she was reaching out every month or two with strange mixed signals talking about meeting up that I thought were breadcrumbs. she had backed out of meeting up to talk about the past even though it was her idea so I sent her a somewhat long email explaining what i thought about different events in the relationship and how i would only consider dating her if she's completely sober and meets me in the middle. i figured she could get what she was looking for in a talk out of that email. i also mentioned how i used a lot of our sex as a sort of crutch to not deal with my own issues. after a couple days she responded with an email almost as long with her own explanations and confessions. it provided a lot of clarity to the situation and showed me what i did that really hurt her that i didn't think much of. she also confessed how hard it is for her to openly communicate among other things, but it was all pretty reasonable and rational.

i responded by texting her that i was impressed by the email but felt we should talk more in person to avoid confusion. she ended up coming over within the hour and we talked about casual things before i escalated and we had sex. she was subtly reluctant but i could tell a part of her wanted it and i capitalized. i actually avoided talking about the past too much because i wanted to conquer her so i stayed present and funny. while the sex was satisfying it wasn't as satisfying as when we gave 100% of each other to the other in the best times of our relationship. she mentioned not to leave marks or finish inside her which is understandable but irked me a bit. she also mentioned how she doesn't want this to be 'a thing' and i told her that she's over thinking it. after sex we laid and talked for a bit again about casual things and i mentioned that we should do this pretty much never since it probably only feeds our sex addictions. she agreed. i said that if we do see each other we should do it outside the bedroom to help foster something more healthy, she again agreed. i saw her out as both of us had other things to get done that day.

for an hour or so i felt great and manly for having had some good sex but after a few hours i started feeling quite crappy. it's now the next morning and i'm still internalizing this feeling and trying to figure out what it means. i think it's unrequited love. i think i was expecting a sort of reciprocation of more depth from her but i sensed her hesitation to do that and so i feel a bit used or something. it's almost like i want her to jump in my arms and be 100% mine again, to commit to me completely like she once did, but i've said and done things long ago that have deeply hurt her feelings so her hesitation is absolutely understandable if she still hasn't forgiven me completely.

i know that love is built slowly so why the hell am i expecting her to jump into my arms? am i trying to avoid forgiving myself or working on myself? why am i even thinking about all this? we all read material that says thinking about relationships is feminine, yet i'm getting older and have thoughts of starting a family. am i using these thoughts of family to avoid working on myself? it's almost like i want to start a family to fill a void, but that doesn't sound like a very healthy reason to start a family. we talk about abundance and unconditional love so i should be simply enjoying her company and letting her go when she doesn't want to commit to me completely. unconditional love would mean not feeling so crappy like this, so i must have had sex with her to try and get something more from her. i don't understand why i want her complete commitment so quickly and so badly. am i identifying with her attraction towards me?

i think it boils down to that i could sense her hesitation or that she hasn't forgiven me completely. i honestly don't want to take her out on a date because i could sense that hesitation from her and it's not a good feeling. i don't want to be around a person that doesn't want to be with me or deep down is still upset with me and i'm not going to try and force things or convince her. it's like the pains of our past together haunt her and keep her from forgiving me and living in the moment. when i try to make things present and fun i can see her reflecting on past events and maybe being fearful of going through more of the same.

i'm torn between reaching out again to apologize about how i've hurt her in the past in an attempt to help her forgive me but something tells me it's not that easy. i could ask her what i can do to help her forgive me but the answer will probably be idk. she may also say that she doesn't hate me or dislike me and is simply apathetic. maybe that's it? that i can't accept that this person is now apathetic towards me?

i want to say something and at the same time want to say nothing at all. i think saying something will come from a place of trying to get her to commit, and that instead the right answer is the ballsy answer, to say and do nothing and let her go.

Maybe she's a PBPD and this is what it feels like on the receiving end? she needs me but hates me? so damn confusing. i'm going to see a shrink to get their take but figured i'd post here and see what you all think.
Hey man. There are a lot of moving parts to what you posted. I like to boil things to their essence.

When you lose or are losing a woman, from an evolutionary standpoint you're losing an opportunity to procreate. Those used to be very expensive losses for cavemen. You know logically that you can and will meet other women, but your hind-brain isn't thinking logically. Mix love into that and you can be all over the map emotionally.

It only makes it worse when you re-open the wound, only to find out maybe she's moving on faster, OR in the case that you move on faster, there's a guilt factor that can come into play (and women are great at exploiting that, part of their evolutionary toolbox).

You felt great immediately after sex because that's how man is supposed to feel. But after the high wore off both your conscious and unconscious mind came to terms with the fact that you might be sharing her with another mate, and either losing her to a competitor or to growing indifference.

All of this is totally normal and you're not a "chump" for thinking/feeling it. The best you can do is minimize this kind of sensation by 100% avoiding contact (that's my prescription anyway). The good news is that you are aware of and addressing what you did and how you felt, and not letting your emotions or ego run wild and take over your logical side. That's not to say you can't feel sad - go ahead - but as that comes and goes always be thinking of what you have to do to move on and be healthy.
 

Epic Days

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jesus i'm good at over-complicating this stuff. the ex used crying out of the gate and i gave her the benefit of the doubt. i thought she was opening up and it was new to her to be so vulnerable, that she was adjusting, but she was using crying to get away with misbehavior. a guilt trip/victim card. there's something to be said about kicking a girl to the curb at the first sign, it keeps her on her toes and it has to be completely ruthless.
Or have better women be attracted to a higher value you.
You are going to get what vibes with you.
 

stormrider

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Or have better women be attracted to a higher value you.
You are going to get what vibes with you.
This is true. There was a time when I thought I was complete. But then i thought to myself “if I am complete, then why do I keep attracting delusional women?”

That was when I discovered my own delusions of grandeur, lol. It was as if my women were just a mirror reflection of me.

Like if you were a cuck, you will attract attention wh0res. And if you were me, your female equivalent would be entitled women. I kept blaming women but it was me. Women exist on a spectrum and I have the power to raise my vibration.

I don’t attract entitled women anymore though. It all changed when I ramped up my determination towards my life purpose. The women I attract are more the low key, no need to flaunt, and modest variety now.

There’s almost like a perfect symmetry to the universe in all aspects of life if you pay enough attention.
 
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EyeOnThePrize

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@Epic Days @stormrider

I think it only seems ruthless to me because I'm still holding the ex on some kind of pedestal, albeit a small one at this point(I think). From a place of higher value the act of dismissing is a no brainer, it doesn't seem ruthless at all, there's just natural aversion. I think as a man comes from higher and higher value he dismisses more and more either directly or indirectly, eventually even sub consciously. This results in the feeling of the universal symmetry as you've all alluded to.

If the symmetry theory is as I've described it then as a man's value increases he'll naturally be single most of the time since he will only feel attraction to a smaller set of women. Women will raise their vibration to be with him but will be dismissed if they don't sustain it, so he may go through many STRs.

An LTR and starting a family will only come about if the woman can sustain a symmetrical vibration. This will naturally filter out frauds.

So the key is to be of high value and giving, since smug entitlement will only attract the same as you've mentioned storm.

So the world is full of mostly dysfunctional families where men compromised on their value to start one, and a minority of healthy families where the man didn't compromise.

I'm guessing this sounds obvious and boring to you guys but I'm writing to help myself understand and let you all correct me if I'm wrong.
 
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guru1000

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@EyeOnThePrize

The greater your intent serves beyond yourself, the higher your wavelength. The greater your intent aligns to give value to the world, the higher your wavelength. This is the law of the Universe. To those who don't like this law, then continue to live in self-delusion or take it up with Mother Nature. I didn't create these laws. I only experienced them having been on both sides of the spectrum to truly understand them.

This is a very difficult concept for some. Because they get burned (especially here in the forum) and believe if they don't strip value from others as their default operandi, then they will continue being the victim of being stripped from. It then becomes a Me Vs. You world, and every party is out to serve themself alone to the detriment of everyone else. Thus the creation of ego, the "protective" armor and game to the "battlefield" of the world.

The problem with this paradigm is the Universe will fulfill exactly that desire, men and women who are of the mental origin to be stripped from (but also who desire to strip reciprocally); low value, insecure, broken/damaged, undermining, entitled men and women. Then man bemoans that the world is filled with trash or inauthentic people not even aware that his own contrived identity is what drove such a reality.

Do you know what it feels like to have over 100 friends, and not one with good intent for your well being? I do. I met the worst of the worst and willingly embraced them because I was of the same origin. I was the facilitator and creator of that circumstance.

Only when you come forward in the world in full vulnerability, without your armor, a value-giving intent, zero contrivance, and Fearlessness--CAN you meet people who are of the same origin--and then you will find and form REAL bonafide bonds with both men and women.

I've dated all different types of women. The great ones I was unable to see as great in my previous state because our wavelengths diverged. I attracted, as the rappers, say the "hottest bad bltches," because I too was of the same mental origin. It was only when I changed my intent and went into full vulnerability, did my reality change. I no longer was a value stripper nor desired my next hot bad bltch conquest. I simply existed in my vulnerability and surrended my armored self. I felt no need for armor and recognized armor as a self-contrivance, a fear-based self-created protective mechanism, a Weakness to shield my self from the pain others could potentially bring.

It was a paradigm shift. Instead of entertaining relations with low level value-strippers, all trash and inauthentic women evaporated from my awareness. Almost as if they no longer existed. I could meet one, but not even feel her presence, a natural aversion to that which no longer resonated. I remember going on a date with this girl who was a physical 10 to my previous standard a few months back, and can't remember one word she said. My attention and thoughts were directed elsewhere. I can't even remember how the date ended. I hold on to this memory as it was my realization of my own paradigm shift. Otherwise, complete obliviousness in that encounter. Total amnesia to that which is beneath. And that is exactly what happens when you raise your vibrational state, the people of lower wavelengths cease to exist in your awareness. They exist as shadows in the periphery of your consciousness.

There is no need to fear any man or woman. No need for armor. No need for contrivance or game. Come exactly as you are. There is no failure. He or she either exists in your wavelength or they cease to exist. You will naturally avert that which does not resonate. And if they are a good actor or actress and one day try to capitalize on the value that you willingly and so freely give, then you drop them with zero regard. They vanish like a passing dream once experienced but forgotten completely.

Allow the fearful--the spiritual children--embrace their egos with the illusion of strength. When you transcend to higher wavelengths, you view reality with a different lens and almost feel embarrassed that you too once acted that way.
 

BeExcellent

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To me this is a thread that is diving deep into everything that meaningfulness of existence IS.

It is this type of thinking and self examination & realization that frees us to bring into reality the greater and higher purpose we are created to embody.

But it all starts with a willingness to trust in one’s self. Release ego. Ego cannot serve you as you actualize.

“The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego...the second half is going inward and letting go of it”

- Carl Jung
 

stormrider

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@Epic Days @stormrider

I think it only seems ruthless to me because I'm still holding the ex on some kind of pedestal, albeit a small one at this point(I think). From a place of higher value the act of dismissing is a no brainer, it doesn't seem ruthless at all, there's just natural aversion. I think as a man comes from higher and higher value he dismisses more and more either directly or indirectly, eventually even sub consciously. This results in the feeling of the universal symmetry as you've all alluded to.

If the symmetry theory is as I've described it then as a man's value increases he'll naturally be single most of the time since he will only feel attraction to a smaller set of women. Women will raise their vibration to be with him but will be dismissed if they don't sustain it, so he may go through many STRs.

An LTR and starting a family will only come about if the woman can sustain a symmetrical vibration. This will naturally filter out frauds.

So the key is to be of high value and giving, since smug entitlement will only attract the same as you've mentioned storm.

So the world is full of mostly dysfunctional families where men compromised on their value to start one, and a minority of healthy families where the man didn't compromise.

I'm guessing this sounds obvious and boring to you guys but I'm writing to help myself understand and let you all correct me if I'm wrong.
I don’t know about being single or devoid of women most of the time. It’s more like romance will seem petty and you can’t help but pity people stuck on the romance train. Especially when you are able to discern the wavelength of the women they have in their lives.

It’s like really man? Just go to the damn strip club and pay for it. You get the same damn wavelength.

Having said all that, in 2018 I was in a year long open relationship with an 18 year old girl. I met her at the gym. All I did was sat on the bench press chair and stared into blank space. She approached me and asked me how to use some machine. She pulled the “damsel in distress helpless” routine. She’s in the west coast for college now.

It was a crazy year for me. I left my car downtown and ended up having a fling with a female lyft driver. I could be walking in an alley way at 2 am and a 9 would pop out of nowhere.

It felt like women on my wavelength were frozen in suspended animation waiting for me to show up.

As long as your intention, focus, state, and expression are clear, you can manifest just about anything at anytime and anywhere.

I know what the universes version of romance looks like. It’s free love and sex, and noncommittal. Love, by definition, cannot be captured. It must circulate. Love is freedom. And freedom cannot be contained by human social constructs.

The romance most experience is the Disney needy and neurotic variety. That’s why I call it petty. It has nothing to do with universal consciousness.

Now if two people make a decision to commit, then that’s on them. But they shouldn’t project their version of romance to everyone else.

We live in a world full of projection by people who are insecure about their world views so they want others to adopt it to validate them. This is petty.

Live your life the way you want to, and give people freedom to live their lives. And stfu about your projections. Nobody wants to hear it, lol.

The version I experienced was me as the constant and an infinite amount of women coming in and out. An ecosystem of women on my wavelength.

I don’t even have a type. Why would i have a type? That’s limiting my experience of infinite possibilities and free love and sex.

And the women don’t even care. They have a duplicitous nature where if you are a guy on the “in”, it’s just love and sex experienced freely with no boundaries. But for guys with disney programming, they’ll play a different role.

Infinite. Love. Freedom. All of these universal elements are synonymous and cannot be contained by petty human social constructs.

My version of romance completely shattered when I met 5-6 women in my wavelength that I had perfect serendipitous chemistry with - all at the same time. And some of them even knew about the other. And none of them cared. The universe didn’t care about any one-itis or “soul mate” theory, it just kept pumping in abundance.

Once you experience this world, you can’t go back to Disney illusions.

The closest I can come to describing it is that I felt like I was constantly meeting one soul - but in many different bodies. They all had the same exact connection and chemistry with me. Almost the same look in their eyes too.

In ultimate reality, it’s totally possible that all these women share the same soul. Perhaps our idea of “soul” and “soulmate” is very limited.
 
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Epic Days

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@Epic Days @stormrider

I think it only seems ruthless to me because I'm still holding the ex on some kind of pedestal, albeit a small one at this point(I think). From a place of higher value the act of dismissing is a no brainer, it doesn't seem ruthless at all, there's just natural aversion. I think as a man comes from higher and higher value he dismisses more and more either directly or indirectly, eventually even sub consciously. This results in the feeling of the universal symmetry as you've all alluded to.

If the symmetry theory is as I've described it then as a man's value increases he'll naturally be single most of the time since he will only feel attraction to a smaller set of women. Women will raise their vibration to be with him but will be dismissed if they don't sustain it, so he may go through many STRs.

An LTR and starting a family will only come about if the woman can sustain a symmetrical vibration. This will naturally filter out frauds.

So the key is to be of high value and giving, since smug entitlement will only attract the same as you've mentioned storm.

So the world is full of mostly dysfunctional families where men compromised on their value to start one, and a minority of healthy families where the man didn't compromise.

I'm guessing this sounds obvious and boring to you guys but I'm writing to help myself understand and let you all correct me if I'm wrong.
And you should post your thoughts.
This thread is actually getting some value. The ying yangs quit mucking it up.
 
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Spaz

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Been away for a few days and you guys r playing truant?

@guru1000 seems that u r very brave to answers those bottom feeders but somehow manages to come up with a hundred and one excuses not to debate with me?

Anyhow @BeExcellent, according to Carl Jung what is Ego?

Let's see if a female has more balls then you.
 

guru1000

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Been away for a few days and you guys r playing truant?

@guru1000 seems that u r very brave to answers those bottom feeders but somehow manages to come up with a hundred and one excuses not to debate with me?

Anyhow @BeExcellent, according to Carl Jung what is Ego?

Let's see if a female has more balls then you.
You already lost the argument on ego in the ego thread by your inability to rebut any Actual positions made. You dont get a Round Two. But you are welcome to challenge any post I wrote on ego (its meaning, its application, and its weakness) in this thread, which by the appearance of you, you can't.
 

Spaz

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You already lost the argument on ego in the ego thread by your inability to rebut any Actual positions made. You dont get a Round Two. But you are welcome to challenge any post I wrote on ego in this thread, which by the appearance of you, you can't.
A Bridgestone tire salesman wants to pitch the benefits of using tubeless tires but yet doesn't want to talk abt tires that uses tubes.

Sounds like he doesn't know tires at all.

I think I'll use @BeExcellent to spur the debate on egoless since u r too cowardly.
 

guru1000

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A Bridgestone tire salesman wants to pitch the benefits of using tubeless tires but yet doesn't want to talk abt tires that uses tubes.

Sounds like he doesn't know tires at all.

I think I'll use @BeExcellent to spur the debate on egoless since u r too cowardly.
You assume you have a position TO debate. You don't. You just want attention. Instead you should pay attention.
 

Spaz

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You assume you have a position TO debate. You don't. You just want attention. Instead you should pay attention.
Seem u r devoid of shame or perhaps so shamed that u keep using the same excuses rather then just state once and for all what is Ego.

Either way it doesn't matter now.

You're proved beyond reasonable doubt that u r indeed a coward who despite being given multiple opportunities by me to state what is Ego, is still refusing to do so.

Let's see how BeExcellent responds, this should be fun.

See, guru, I'm already giving you face, be grateful and say thank you to Spaz now.
 
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