"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Tyson to become a porn star.

J

jason86

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London, August 4, 2005



Former World Boxing Champion Mike Tyson may star in a porn film with Jenna Jameson.

Tyson, who retired from boxing last month, said that he desperately needs money to pay his tax bills of several million dollars, and a porn career could help him in his cause.

"I just talked to a gentleman called Jimmy who's involved with Jenna Jameson. They said they were interested in getting me involved in the adult film industry. I need the money up front," femalefirst quoted him as saying to Zoo magazine.

American boxing journalist Pedro Fernandez also said that Tyson, who was jailed for six years in 1992 on rape charges, would triumph in the sex industry.

"According to court documentation from Tyson's rape trial, his member is at least 14in long. If Tyson brings out some of the ferocity that made him a champion, he could definitely become a successful porn star," he said



:crackup::crackup:
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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P

Page

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14 inches... fvck.

I hope for his sake he never gets a hardon when elevator doors are closing.
 
U

undesputable

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14 inches??!! i doubt it, very very highly doubt it...who knows tho, well see when he does some porn.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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D

DJDamage

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Well at least we will see Mike Tyson finally "Come's" on top! (drum roll)

I can picture this now scene 1 action:

Mike Tyson: come on b1tch, lets fvck, kick your kids to the movies or something or I am going to eat your children and eat your heart and then I will eat your pvssy!
 
D

Don Pablo

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Yep, Mike Tyson will knock Jenna Jameson out and fvck her, and when he's done, he'll punch her in the face and bite her ear off.
 
M

MindOverMatter

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with the way mike's career has been going, he's prolly gonna start out strong the first 2 mins, then tire out after that, and give up after 6 mins.

or jenna will accidently knock him out.

either way, my money's on jenna.
 
N

naoi deag se deag

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Originally posted by MindOverMatter
with the way mike's career has been going, he's prolly gonna start out strong the first 2 mins, then tire out after that, and give up after 6 mins.

or jenna will accidently knock him out.

either way, my money's on jenna.
Click to expand...
HAHAHAHAHA
 
A

Aztec

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Originally posted by MindOverMatter


either way, my money's on jenna. [/B]
Click to expand...


My money's on Jenna too....money shot that is. (70's porn background tune playing)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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R

Reborn Don Juan

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Heh, and Jenna'll give him an STD and they'll live happily ever after. :crackup:
 
U

undesputable

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this should be on HBO pay per view.
 
S

ShizamDaMan

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Bow chicka wow wow...

I think I might actually have to purchase the video, cause I'll never really believe it without seeing it with my own two eyes.
 
I

italostud

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This has been disproved as an internet rumor. Sorry guys. But come on, the 14 inch donger should have given it away!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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S

spider_007

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Judging by the amount of buzz about this, if he does do it, he'll pay off his tax bill puirty quickly $$$$$$$
 
C

Climax

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What is this world coming to?!

What the f*ck?! ... This world is DOOMED!

:D


Laterz...
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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