She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I am a man with VERY diverse interests and am a moral relativist. I am on a journey through life where I pursue both pleasure and spirituality and hope that I can add some value to this site.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Pleasure and spirituality aren't associated together in the religions you speak of. Maybe go for something like Buddhism or Hinduism.
I wouldn't mind visiting Buddhist and Hindu places of worship. I practice vipassana meditation on my own, and recently went with a friend to his church to potentially meet women, though I didn't tell him that. Perhaps I'll meet Buddhist or Hindu women at their places of worship. I attend a Reform synagogue semi-regularly as I am Jewish, but I am VERY liberal in my interpretation of halakha or our Jewish laws. In fact, as a Reform Jew I can choose which of the 613 mitzvot or commandments in the Torah I want to follow. I would be open to meeting women of any religion or no religion at all. I realize that many Jews, particularly Orthodox or Conservative Jews wouldn't agree with how I live my life. I am open to women of any race, my only requirement to have sex with, or be in a relationship with a woman is that I find her physically attractive.
Yes, even I agree with that.
en.wikipedia.org
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
speak on it