"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Two girls in same yoga class

EmotionalGeek

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I've been talking a lot with a girl in yoga class. Recently I asked her for a coffe. She said it's not a best time but gave me her number anyway. I will try to setup a date in a week or so. In a mean time another girl in same class is sending me some signals (proximity, smiles). I spoke with her only once because never wanted to speak with her more. She is really cute so I would like to try with her as well. I am afraid though that when they see I am speaking to both of them they will get angry and I will lose possibilities with both.

Do you have some similar experiences that I can learn from?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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C00lAF

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I've been talking a lot with a girl in yoga class. Recently I asked her for a coffe. She said it's not a best time but gave me her number anyway. I will try to setup a date in a week or so. In a mean time another girl in same class is sending me some signals (proximity, smiles). I spoke with her only once because never wanted to speak with her more. She is really cute so I would like to try with her as well. I am afraid though that when they see I am speaking to both of them they will get angry and I will lose possibilities with both.

Do you have some similar experiences that I can learn from?
Yeah i used to think the same way since im in a college,tell you what,talk to everyone,just be social and test thier waters,then go for the more reciptive one.
 

Who Dares Win

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Speak with both of them in a friendly tone, keep a low profile and with some luck they could even challenge each other about who gets your attention.

Just dont play the smart kid with both..at some point make your choice according to their feedbacks.
 

Building_and_Loan

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Go for the second girl and ask her out after chatting her up. The first girl sounds like she's just being nice, doesn't sound interested so I wouldn't worry about her getting angry or losing her as a possibility.
 

Alvafe

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Go for the second girl and ask her out after chatting her up. The first girl sounds like she's just being nice, doesn't sound interested so I wouldn't worry about her getting angry or losing her as a possibility.
feh, teh first girl will start to be interested when she saw him with the second, serious question though to the op, what you really are afraid of? are you dating the first one? you jsut asked for a cofee, its not her bussiness how many people you ask out
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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SuckItUp

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1. Coffee dates aren't a good idea. They are poor for escalation and too static. I'm suggesting something overly elaborate here but change your date venues. Hikes are good, amusement parks, wine bars, rock climbing, etc. Try to have at least one of the following action, alcohol, and/or interesting scenery.

2. Competition/jealousy is like crack for women. As mentioned be cool, calm, and collected and if you get busted or called on it then you can say something like who wouldn't want to talk to two (insert a few compliments here) women. You are downplaying your potential player status by qualifying.
 

EmotionalGeek

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1. Coffee dates aren't a good idea. They are poor for escalation and too static. I'm suggesting something overly elaborate here but change your date venues. Hikes are good, amusement parks, wine bars, rock climbing, etc. Try to have at least one of the following action, alcohol, and/or interesting scenery.

2. Competition/jealousy is like crack for women. As mentioned be cool, calm, and collected and if you get busted or called on it then you can say something like who wouldn't want to talk to two (insert a few compliments here) women. You are downplaying your potential player status by qualifying.
My idea for the date is to ask her for coffee then after an hour bounce to pub and try to get a make out there. If I get make out then I will try to take her home.
 

17 shots

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Neither of them is your girlfriend, so neither of them would have anything to get upset about. Women like men who keep their options open
 

SuckItUp

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My idea for the date is to ask her for coffee then after an hour bounce to pub and try to get a make out there. If I get make out then I will try to take her home.
If it works for you then proceed. However if you find it isn't working for you then skip to the pub date and bounce to food. Typically coffee to a pub is big change of states and most women don't feel comfortable because coffee implies talking and a pub implies a sexually charged state.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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marmel75

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1. Coffee dates aren't a good idea. They are poor for escalation and too static. I'm suggesting something overly elaborate here but change your date venues. Hikes are good, amusement parks, wine bars, rock climbing, etc. Try to have at least one of the following action, alcohol, and/or interesting scenery.

2. Competition/jealousy is like crack for women. As mentioned be cool, calm, and collected and if you get busted or called on it then you can say something like who wouldn't want to talk to two (insert a few compliments here) women. You are downplaying your potential player status by qualifying.
Agreed, coffee is for being friends.
 

EmotionalGeek

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Agreed, coffee is for being friends.
Hmmm, In my country (wester Europe) coffee between adults of different gender is may mean sex. E.g. if man ask woman do you want to come for coffee it implies sex. I know it works also like that in some different western European countries.
 

EmotionalGeek

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Speak with both of them in a friendly tone, keep a low profile and with some luck they could even challenge each other about who gets your attention.

Just dont play the smart kid with both..at some point make your choice according to their feedbacks.
Problem is both are pretty. I would like to have both of them as plates but I do not believe it is realistic option because at some point it will be to obvious.
 

Atom Smasher

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1. Coffee dates aren't a good idea. They are poor for escalation and too static. I'm suggesting something overly elaborate here but change your date venues. Hikes are good, amusement parks, wine bars, rock climbing, etc. Try to have at least one of the following action, alcohol, and/or interesting scenery.

2. Competition/jealousy is like crack for women. As mentioned be cool, calm, and collected and if you get busted or called on it then you can say something like who wouldn't want to talk to two (insert a few compliments here) women. You are downplaying your potential player status by qualifying.
This is everything you need to know. Your value skyrockets when a woman observes another woman being friendly to you. Women always take their social cues and values from outside of themselves, from other "herd" members.

Action dates are vastly superior to coffee, lunch, etc. It's a great way to appear unique to her, because everybody is asking her out for coffee.
 

EmotionalGeek

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This is everything you need to know. Your value skyrockets when a woman observes another woman being friendly to you. Women always take their social cues and values from outside of themselves, from other "herd" members.

Action dates are vastly superior to coffee, lunch, etc. It's a great way to appear unique to her, because everybody is asking her out for coffee.
Yeah, I saw power of social proof. It's pure gold.

What kind of action dates works for you? For me coffe/walks worked. Any kind of action date was rarely accepted.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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