Let me answer in bold
I struggle with dishonesty but this last relationship was my swan's song in giving him all of me. I was honest to a fault. Many faults.
I'll tell you, I'm freaking tempted to withhold age, that I don't want kids, lay count, financials and even one spec of detail of any ex with a future man. Do what you like. If he is a quality man, as soon as he finds out you lied he will kick your azz out the door. I would.
Now I consider withholding all that to be lying, don't you? Yep. So you think he should just tell her that he is scared, based on his knowledge of women, and how they behave....that he is simply scared to lose/risk his assets...……...and you think she will accept that??? How many women have you dated? How many women have nagged you to move in with them as their mate? How would you solve his dilemma?
The phrase 'white lie' is exactly like the phrase 'a little bit pregnant'. How would you solve his dilemma? Don't side step again. Tell us.
I negged you today to ask you to consider telling the complete truth with next woman. You would be extremely hard pressed to find a more honest man than me. The part you forget, is women are relentless on the nagging. If it were me, and she continued to nag me about this, I would end the relationship. and HAVE.
Let the bytch monkey branch or whatever...good riddance if she can't handle the truth. Here we agree. If I were him, today, this is literally what I would say . VERBATIM " You know, I love you very much,....VERY much. But I have a sincere fear of losing my assets, and I have a sincere fear of being tricked into Fatherhood. I'm not ready to move in, and I am not ready to start a family. I understand if you want to end the relationship.....if you choose to continue to date me, please don't bring it up again. If I am interested, I will tell you"
And then guess what would happen??? She would agree, stop talking about it....and carry on with her plan. Only thing is, she would reverse the steps and get knocked up first.
I am not sure how old you are - but I imagine if you put some thought into it, you could come up with at least a DOZEN women who have done this very thing! I certainly could. The risk of moving in with a woman simply FAR outweighs the rewards.
I need some meetings so badly. I miss my collectivism outlets.
Thanks for responding. You are welcome. Here is who I am : A man who worked extremely hard throughout his life, loved his wife and children very much, always put himself last. The had an ex-wife who decided she wanted out. Cost me half my pension, child support to the tune of $42,000, spousal support to the tune of $18,000 and swallowing about $9,000 of her debt that she racked up without me knowing. Another friend hung himself. TWO friends actually, but one was an more an acquaintance. Over a woman. Over her nagging, lying and selfishness.
So unless you have dated women, been lied to by women, bankrupted by women, tried to get a woman to stop nagging you about moving in...…..unless you have experienced those things - then I think your opinion has little value. I HAVE lived those things.
Probably didn't answer your questions. Nope, you didn't. So here they are once more :
How would you solve the issue? What would you do? How have men you have dated in the past reacted when you told them you didn't want to move in with them?
My sincere condolences in the loss of your best friend and in such a tragic manner. Horrifying when you realise what prompted it. Thank you. I was plum in the middle of it, the lying ***** used me to start the conversation with him that she was leaving him. Said they were divorcing and he was pretty down in the dumps and could I talk to him? When I mentioned it to him, to console him, it turns out she had not mentioned a THING. She USED me to tell him!!!!. I was in on the rescue of his second suicide attempt, I helped him while he was in the mental ward recovering, and upon his release, he promptly hung himself. Stood on the roof of his truck, tied a rope around his neck, and stepped off. I was a pallbearer at his funeral.
You seem like an honest, reliable woman. And that is fanatstic. You are in the minority.
Do yourself a favor. If you REALLY want to know what it is like to be a man today, to get divorce raped, to egt your kids taken away, to join the ranks of the astronomical amount of men that commit suicide over this? Read Dr. Helen Fisher's book Men on Strike.